Beyond the Urgent Moment

Physically, 2019 has been hard on me. I’ve spent most of this year sick with one thing or another. I usually devote March Break to taking care of taxes. This year I spent it on my back with a terrible sinus infection. I’m still recovering and can’t do everything I need to do yet. However, I’m finally a bit more mobile. It’s been awful but also an opportunity to reevaluate where I’m steering my writing career and my meat wagon.

The first time I went into writing full-time was in 2011. I took a couple of years off from my day job to devote myself to writing and publishing. That was a productive time but my life was out of balance. I spent far too much time sitting. That’s an occupational hazard, of course. However, I took it beyond reason, often working on books 15 or even 18 hours a day. Crazy times. Also, my time management was so skewed that my family made a lot of sacrifices for Ex Parte Press. And by that, I mean they made financial sacrifices for me. I also didn’t spend as much time with them as I should have.

I wasn’t making any money then. I lived off an allowance from my sainted wife. $60 a week. I felt pressure to get on track financially, of course, so I became a workaholic. Money pressure doesn’t go away. I still feel it though it’s not the panic it once was (just constant, low-grade anxiety that makes me feel I have to prove myself and catch up for the lost years!) The dream is to get comfortable enough that I can take the family on a tropical vacation. I’m Canadian. I spend a lot of the year yearning for sugar sand beaches and palm trees.

I’ve been writing again full-time since July 1, 2018. I have rules about when I stop working each day now. I try to move more. Late last year I went through a boot camp in which I lost a lot of weight, ate healthily and got on track. It felt great. Then a few health issues hit and the stress eating began and I got off track. Well, okay, I flew off the track and killed all the spectators in the stands.

A while back, I finally got through all my medical tests. I tested negative for the health issues I thought I had. It was quite a relief but then I got hit with more illnesses and generally felt like crap all the time. I also fell back into some bad habits of overwork. I am currently working on a Lovecraftian novel called Amid Mortal Words. This one will be a stand-alone novel. I’m very happy with it but in my current condition I can’t pump it out to market as fast as I’d like. I’m working on the manuscript steadily again but now I expect it will be released sometime in April. Apologies to my wonderful editor for the delay in the publication schedule. I’m a bit furious about it but I’ll come to accept reality any second now. Yeah…any second…suuure.

Health and the habits that promote it have to come first. I learned that lesson before and let it go so I have to repeat the lesson again. I just got back from the grocery store, loaded up with healthy choices. No bad carbs, lots of vegetables, bone broth and hope that 2019 will ease its grip on me. I’ve had quite enough of feeling like shit all the time, thank you very much.

I write full-time and control my schedule. It’s still cold but no longer terrifying to go outside. Therefore, I have no excuses not to visit the gym daily. Diet and exercise will allow me to live longer and write longer. That’s how I’ll catch up: steady work and playing the long game.

When tragedy strikes someone, I send my condolences but I usually add, “And please take care of yourself.” In times of trouble or even just dealing with the daily grind, we often make ourselves a low priority. To take care of others, we have to take care of ourselves first. It’s not selfish. It’s smart. It should even be obvious but in the drive to succeed, we often sacrifice the wrong things or abandon long-term priorities for the urgent moment.

Lying on my back and being miserable for a week has reminded me about the order of my priorities. I’m back to playing the long game again because this is it. I write full-time for a living now. There is no going back to the day job. I love writing for a living. To live to write, a good diet and a healthy dose of exercise must be part of my writing regimen.

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Hey! I’m Robert Chazz Chute. Sign up for my newsletter to get updates and deals on new books, buy my tomes of epic delight and twisty suspense (pretty please with a thunderous thank you) and happy reading!

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