I used to do this thing when I was a kid. Pillows go down first. Those were the hills. Then a blanket went on top. That was the battlefield. After that, I set my little green plastic soldiers, tanks, and cannons in place. WWII went on for years in my basement. The fun was in setting the pieces up for the bombing raid.
Boom! Boom! Boom! Fun!
Then I’d reset until Gilligan’s Island came on the TV (the snowy channel from Bangor. Maine).
One day, my father burst into the room looking irritated, frantic even. “You’re playin’ all the time! Every time I see you, you’re playin’!“
And I was like, “Dad, I’m nine.”
The mindset became ingrained, though. Protestant Work Ethic, we called it, as if work wasn’t hard enough we had to bring religion into it. As if people of other faiths weren’t all busting their asses, too.
The core concept was this: If you aren’t doing something to make money, you’re valueless.
Given a single quiet moment, my father would announce it was time to mow the lawn or clean out the garage. When you’re ordered to clean out the garage every five weeks, you really want to torch the place.
Mom was no different. I don’t recall her sitting down until she was confined to a wheelchair. She hated it if anyone dared to have a nap. Her favorite line was, “The day’s a-wastin’!”
We are blind to the things we take for granted. The sky is blue, grass is green, and we’re put on Earth to rise and grind, life’s a bitch and then you die.
We don’t know what we don’t know.
The Epidemic of Busyness
A friend of mine organized a TEDx Talk in Chicago. I watched it this morning. The first speaker observed that we are suffering several epidemics: COVID-19, of course, but racism and economic challenges, too. She spoke eloquently about busyness and her speech really got me thinking how much I’ve messed up the first half of the year. I’ve indulged in bad thinking that does not serve me, but I’m working on it.
When we went into quarantine, many of us didn’t know how to handle it. We were unprepared for the pattern break. Lifting our noses from the grindstone, many of us thought, what do I do with myself? If I’m not working and producing every hour, this must be sin. And was it necessary to commute to work to put my nose to that grindstone? It hurts.
Have you seen this meme?
We have to stop talking as if we’re “working from home” when we’re actually living where we work.
My wife, the thoughtful psychologist, prefers this: We’re not working from home. We’re living at home and trying to get work done.
It is quite a privilege to work from home, of course. While the rest of us complained about confinement and got deeply into making sourdough bread starters, nurses, doctors, delivery people, and grocery store workers didn’t get to have that “time off.” There’s understandable guilt in allowing essential workers to take the biggest hit, especially when they don’t receive hazard pay and adequate protection. (That issue is a whole other blog post.)
There’s also the guilt of feeling we should be doing more with our time. I’d like to absolve you of that last bit. I’m still trying to break those chains myself.
You have value even when you aren’t working
“Playing video games is not wasted time.”
The first time I heard that sentence, it was a genuine challenge for me. After all, the day’s a-wastin’! But you know what? Those video games were fun. Lots of dopamine hits. Relaxation. Relaxation is healthy. Going for a walk without a particular purpose in mind is healthy.
We often fail to value relaxation because Capitalism doesn’t value downtime. “Downtime” as in, “The production line is down! Quick, pull that injured worker off the line, toss in another sacrifice, and crank ‘er up again! We’re losing money!”
If you don’t think about it too hard, it’s easy to call poor people lazy. When you do think about it for more than a second, you realize that the poorest among us tend to be among the hardest workers. How many jobs, gigs, and side hustles does it take the average person to cobble together a decent living? How much downtime do they get from their non-living wages? How much of living do they get to enjoy?
Answer: You won’t find poor people on the golf course unless they’re mowing it.
Hardcore proponents of everlasting economic growth aren’t comfortable with you having any fun unless they’re selling it to you. “Don’t just stay home! Get out there and feed the economy!” Idleness, in any form, is suspect.
When we fall for this trap, we fail to value ourselves.
Dad’s become a little wiser in his later years. Now, when I feel like I’m not writing enough or selling enough books, he says, “Even birds don’t fly all the time.”
I’m not lazy, but I still berate myself for not getting more done. I’m trying to break that habit. I don’t have the toy soldiers, anymore, but sometimes, when my son is out, I get on his computer and play Sniper Elite 4.
Boom! Boom! Boom! Fun!