Tag: stress management

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Managing Stress in a Stupid Timeline

Something I’ve noticed lately is the number of people who end conversations with, “Stay safe.” We didn’t used to say that so often, but we sure do now. Given all that’s going on, that makes lots of sense. Besides the carelessness of those in power, misinformation, and disinformation are a couple of reasons why we’re in danger. Today, I have thoughts on why that is.

Alternatively, you can skip to the bottom of this post for stress management suggestions.


In our stupid timeline, there is no social cost for being a rabid conspiracy theorist. RFK, for instance, says he wants to make sure vaccines are safe. That will be difficult to prove to him since he doesn’t believe existing scientific research. He is dangerous, and more people will die because of him. His reward? More power to enact his dumbassery.

More Knuckleheads

It’s so strange to see people arguing the world is flat. How does that flashback to the ancient world fit? As they argue, they’re bouncing the twit signal off satellites to their cell phones. We have so much information at our fingertips, but some of us are terrible at critical thinking.

Flat Earthers are easy to stump. Are all the pilots on Earth in on it? What’s their motivation? Is Big Oblate Sphere paying everybody off? Why? How? If the Earth is flat, why can’t I see all the aircraft at once with a telescope? And we don’t have a single picture of the great ice wall that keeps us from falling off the edge? Weird. What could the explanation be? Are the answers stupid? They’re stupid, aren’t they?

Why do silly people defend their silliness?

In This Plague of Days, I came up with a line I think about often: A rational argument doesn’t work on an irrational person. Are there real conspiracies? Sure, there are a few that are real, but silly people aren’t interested in the actual and factual. Truth isn’t their point. Their convictions spring from fear and self-aggrandizement. Ignorant and unintelligent is a tough way to live.

Please note:

There is evidence that informed and bright is no picnic in the park, either.

But back to dumbassery. If the conspiracy theorists know something you don’t, they can feel superior. Go deeper, and you’ll find their fear. They are searching for a feeling of control in a world that is out of control. For that, I sympathize. I feel for them because they’re right about something. They’re trying to claw back some power wherever they can because they feel helpless.

In some regard, we are all helpless.

Things can go along great, but then a crack in your windshield shatters your budget. You feel good and strong, but then the doctor calls to talk about that recent blood test. We are all subject to the changing whims of global political forces. Hundreds of variables can affect your stress. A bit of delusional thinking can really aid in alleviating that problem. We feel more power when we ignore certain things (e.g. mortality, the underpaid underclasses, and that your cat often thinks about eating you).

Control is an illusion.

Jean-Luc Picard said that, so it must be true. But where does that leave us? How about we take our delusions of grandeur in a more useful and positive direction? Here are my humble suggestions:

  • Be more social. It extends your life. (As an introvert, I’m wary of this, but I’m trying.)
  • Support your friends.
  • Accept support.
  • Read more fiction that you know is fiction.
  • Read credible non-fiction books (i.e. not RFK’s book).
  • Ease up on the doom scrolling.
  • Make more jokes. Find more reasons to laugh.
  • Focus on what you can do, not what you can’t do.
  • Self-care might mean a spa day, but a long hot bath or shower after a walk in the woods is cheaper.
  • In my book Do The Thing, I paradoxically suggested that you keep your to-do list short and your to-don’t list long.
  • Declutter.
  • Exercise.
  • Stretch and take more deep abdominal breaths to make your nervous system less nervous.
  • Help someone else, and you’ll feel better.
  • Start on that thing you’ve been putting off for months that will take less than twenty minutes to complete.
  • For bigger projects, just start on a small bit. Tell yourself you’ll only tackle it for a short time. You’ll probably get more done. Starting is hard. Continuing is easier.
  • Ask yourself, “Is this thing I’m doing giving me value?” (It’s okay to stop doing things that aren’t helping you.)
  • Ask yourself, “Am I setting myself on fire to keep others warm?” (I’ve done this one a lot!)
  • Those mistakes you made long ago? You regret them. The person who made those mistakes isn’t you anymore, are they?
  • To preserve your energy and sanity, stop trying so hard to change others. Start with you. People resent a good example less than a doofus slinging decrees.
  • People say love is the answer (though fudge yields the same happy hit on the neurons).
  • Give up on measuring your accomplishments by other people’s metrics. Your happiness is not about what you should want. It’s about what you really want.

When the oxygen masks drop on the plane, you put the mask on your face first so you can breathe. Only then can you assist others. Take care of yourself. Stay safe.

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The Year Ahead: How to Deal

Endemic is live on Amazon!

I recently watched Things to Come, a movie from 1936 based on the work of HG Wells. It’s not a great film, but the subtext feels prophetic. The world of the 1930s devolves into a decades-long war that destroys civilization. Warlords take over. Scientific progress is lost. When a movement rises to bring a troubled hellscape back to modernity, those in power resist change. The good guys — in this case, an army of scientists — win. They improve on what came before the apocalypse and build a utopia. However, a hundred years later, angry mobs rise up to bring scientific progress to a halt.

At every tick of history’s clock, some people will try to hold back the hands of time. No matter how good the future might be, they want to return to a time when they thought things were better, perhaps simpler. The worst part is they want to choose for you, not just themselves. I’d prefer to order off the menu myself, thanks. Leave me and that bright, hopeful future alone.



HG Wells never watched a political debate on TikTok at 3 a.m., but he saw the anti-intellectualism coming. That’s been going on for a long time, of course, but the US election year will ramp up the nonsense, and plenty. We have a rough road ahead in 2024. I won’t list all the frets, but you’ve seen the news. You know what piles on the stress. We call it doomscrolling now, but we used to call it “watching the news,” or “being aware of current events.” You’re going to hear a lot more arguing. Don’t expect well-mannered debates on the road to truth, just stubborn parroting of propaganda impenetrable to facts. Motivated reasoning is not reasonable.

You’ll also get exposed to some happy, slappy messages about how everything’s fine or will be. When crises go on too long, misery becomes normalized. The worst is when you point out an injustice and some clod mutters, “That’s nothing new.” Yeah, ya lazy dick! We should have fixed it by now, huh? But we haven’t. I fear we won’t fix much of anything.

Whatever your cause, there’s a good chance some experts are working on it. Just as surely, a bunch of idiots are maintaining the status quo or wrecking the DeLorean’s transmission by throwing Time into reverse.

So, what to do? You’re going to go to bed each night, heave a heavy sigh, and say in a thick Southern accent, “Mama’s had a day.” I say that to my wife each night because we’re going to have to hold on to our sense of humor through it all. I don’t have a solution to the climate crisis, threats of war, or a (legal) way to convince flat earthers they’re wrong. Maybe afflict the comfortable and write letters to whoever’s in charge of the circus? In your off-time, rest and recover.

Here’s my rest and recovery protocol:

  1. Guard your peace from those who would rob you of it.
  2. The usual: Sleep, eat well, and exercise.
  3. Put your phone down more often.
  4. Avoid trying to reason with unreasonable folks. Helping anyone out of ignorance is noble, but fuckwits will just waste your precious time, and time is life.
  5. Watch Stanley Tucci in Searching for Italy. This will reinforce your belief in the hope of a common humanity that is kind, curious, and appreciative.
  6. Binge-watching Modern Family will ease your mind and bring you comfort.
  7. If childhood was a better time for you, revel in nostalgia. I watched an episode of Barney Miller last night.
  8. Read fiction. It will pull you out of the forest fire that is your existence, at least for a while.
  9. Gather with the like-minded and enter the bar back to back, heads on a swivel.
  10. Laugh at determined fools. When reason fails, laughter is often the more effective weapon.

    Finally, and most importantly:

    Read my fiction. Mama’s had a day, and I need money.

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How to make your nervous system less nervous

This audio includes a short box breathing exercise and a mixture of the contract/relax technique and visualization to help you relieve stress.

Do not listen to this while you are driving or doing anything that requires your attention elsewhere.

Last week, I wrote about the 3A Triad of Stress Management. Today, I’d like to share a breathing and visualization exercise with the aim of:

  1. Staying in the moment to
  2. deepen breathing in order to
  3. boost body awareness to
  4. ease bodily tension
  5. and cue a more calm state of mind.

    With practice, you can consciously ease your stress and deepen relaxation.

    Your body is constantly listening in on your thoughts and reacts to those thoughts unconsciously. As you entertain stressful thoughts, the red-light reflex kicks in and your muscles tense up.

    Here’s the good news:

    Using time-tested mindfulness techniques, you can activate the green-light reflex. Your mind is listening to your body, too. By deepening your breathing and consciously easing muscle tension, your autonomic nervous system sends out a useful signal: “I am not being chased by a bear.”

    You can use box breathing anytime. Breathe in for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4, repeat as necessary to increase calm in the face of stress.

    The rest of today’s audio exploration is meant to be performed on your bed, on a couch or on the floor if you can get comfortable. As long as you are comfortable and can take approximately 20 minutes to yourself without distractions, you can deepen this practice to ease your stress.

    This recording has been a Blanket Fort Production by Robert Chazz Chute of AllThatChazz.com, all rights reserved.

    For more stress management tips, check out Do The Thing by Robert Chazz Chute.

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Managing Pandemic Stress

Do The Thing SMALLER
To order: mybook.to/DoTheThing

Someone once asked me what my books were about. 

“What? You mean…all of them?”

“Yeah. Like, is there a central theme to all your work?”

That put me back on my heels for a moment, but I came up with something. It’s this:

Whether I’m writing science fiction, apocalyptic novels, or crime thrillers, it’s always about the drama of closing the space between how things are and how they ought to be.

This, my friends, is why fiction is better than non-fiction. Fiction has to make more sense than reality. Looking around, much of our new reality fails to make sense. The entire world is under quarantine and the economy is unplugged. Mismanagement abounds. Some policy failures seem indistinguishable from actively trying to kill the disenfranchised. Nope, not kidding. If you count yourself among the disadvantaged, you feel that punch in your heart, head, and guts.

Okay, okay! We get it, Rob! Things are bad. What’s your point?

My dad will turn 94 this year. He often says, “I’ve never seen anything like this.” I understand his culture shock, but our existential dread is not unique. The difference now is that more people face existential dread of the same thing simultaneously.

If you’ve ever waited by the phone for test results from a doctor, you recognize this awful sensation. If you’re feeling bored, unproductive, overstimulated, under-stimulated, sad, angry or depressed, you’re not alone. The poor or differently-abled often feel trapped and frustrated, much like this. Many people feel as you do and this is not new to them. Even under normal circumstances, many have difficulty leaving their homes and moving about freely for a variety of reasons. Want to take a ride just to get out of the house? Okay. Lots of people can’t afford cars. A ride on a bus, if there is public transport, can be dangerous.

My point is not that you shouldn’t complain.

Vent if you need to do so. Your feelings are valid. Your broken toe doesn’t feel better because someone else gets their leg amputated. I spread my sympathy around everywhere without holding back.

I want to make a more subtle point:


For all of us, each day dealing with COVID-19 is one more straw atop the camel’s back (and that poor camel’s knees are trembling). For me, it’s the helplessness that gets to me. If you aren’t classified as an essential worker, your job in the pandemic is to do nothing but stay home. Doing nothing is very much akin to helplessness. I want it fixed. I want to fix it. I want people to survive and thrive. I’m sure you do, too. For most of us, we are playing a waiting game. Failing to wait can be deadly, so this is a game we don’t want to lose. The stakes are high and, like you, I’m feeling that nervy pain daily.

So it’s time to revisit something from Do the Thing.

In stressful situations, we’re biologically programmed to flee, fight or freeze. Those could be more useful responses when our species was hunted by evil clowns riding Bengal tigers through primordial jungles.* That’s probably less helpful here.

To better cope with our stress, we want choices, not automatic and autonomic responses.

Here are your choices using 3A Stress Management

In any stressful situation, you choose from the Alter/Avoid/Accept Triad. 

  1. Alter: Change the frame and circumstance if and where you can. Make isolation more pleasant. Find helpful, happy and healthy distractions.

    And ask for support.

  2. Avoid: Get away from threats to your physical and mental health where possible (i.e. masks, physical distancing, isolation, etc.)

    And ask for support.

  3. Accept: Don’t try to control that which is beyond your control.

    And ask for support.

    I hope you find 3A stress management helpful. This is me, still trying to close the distance between an Ought and an Is, even in non-fiction. If you’re searching for more stress management ideas, check out Do the Thing.

Much love and be well!

Rob

* What? Nobody ever told you about the evil clowns riding Bengal tigers through primordial jungles? Jeez. Read a science book, will ya?!

Mental note: Silly jokes can help, too.

cropped-Photo-Credit-to-David-Redding.jpg

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Your limit for today

I just left the following message with a friend. Then I thought I should share it here, as well.

Good evening. This is your mental health and morale officer checking in. This is to remind you that your limit on the number of times you can scream at someone today is five. As the situation evolves, that number may be reevaluated and adjusted upward. For today, your number is five.*

Cry all you want as necessary so the steam pressure doesn’t blow a gasket.

Much love to you all and have a good day.

*Please note: Less screaming is better.

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Beyond the Urgent Moment

Physically, 2019 has been hard on me. I’ve spent most of this year sick with one thing or another. I usually devote March Break to taking care of taxes. This year I spent it on my back with a terrible sinus infection. I’m still recovering and can’t do everything I need to do yet. However, I’m finally a bit more mobile. It’s been awful but also an opportunity to reevaluate where I’m steering my writing career and my meat wagon.

The first time I went into writing full-time was in 2011. I took a couple of years off from my day job to devote myself to writing and publishing. That was a productive time but my life was out of balance. I spent far too much time sitting. That’s an occupational hazard, of course. However, I took it beyond reason, often working on books 15 or even 18 hours a day. Crazy times. Also, my time management was so skewed that my family made a lot of sacrifices for Ex Parte Press. And by that, I mean they made financial sacrifices for me. I also didn’t spend as much time with them as I should have.

I wasn’t making any money then. I lived off an allowance from my sainted wife. $60 a week. I felt pressure to get on track financially, of course, so I became a workaholic. Money pressure doesn’t go away. I still feel it though it’s not the panic it once was (just constant, low-grade anxiety that makes me feel I have to prove myself and catch up for the lost years!) The dream is to get comfortable enough that I can take the family on a tropical vacation. I’m Canadian. I spend a lot of the year yearning for sugar sand beaches and palm trees.

I’ve been writing again full-time since July 1, 2018. I have rules about when I stop working each day now. I try to move more. Late last year I went through a boot camp in which I lost a lot of weight, ate healthily and got on track. It felt great. Then a few health issues hit and the stress eating began and I got off track. Well, okay, I flew off the track and killed all the spectators in the stands.

A while back, I finally got through all my medical tests. I tested negative for the health issues I thought I had. It was quite a relief but then I got hit with more illnesses and generally felt like crap all the time. I also fell back into some bad habits of overwork. I am currently working on a Lovecraftian novel called Amid Mortal Words. This one will be a stand-alone novel. I’m very happy with it but in my current condition I can’t pump it out to market as fast as I’d like. I’m working on the manuscript steadily again but now I expect it will be released sometime in April. Apologies to my wonderful editor for the delay in the publication schedule. I’m a bit furious about it but I’ll come to accept reality any second now. Yeah…any second…suuure.

Health and the habits that promote it have to come first. I learned that lesson before and let it go so I have to repeat the lesson again. I just got back from the grocery store, loaded up with healthy choices. No bad carbs, lots of vegetables, bone broth and hope that 2019 will ease its grip on me. I’ve had quite enough of feeling like shit all the time, thank you very much.

I write full-time and control my schedule. It’s still cold but no longer terrifying to go outside. Therefore, I have no excuses not to visit the gym daily. Diet and exercise will allow me to live longer and write longer. That’s how I’ll catch up: steady work and playing the long game.

When tragedy strikes someone, I send my condolences but I usually add, “And please take care of yourself.” In times of trouble or even just dealing with the daily grind, we often make ourselves a low priority. To take care of others, we have to take care of ourselves first. It’s not selfish. It’s smart. It should even be obvious but in the drive to succeed, we often sacrifice the wrong things or abandon long-term priorities for the urgent moment.

Lying on my back and being miserable for a week has reminded me about the order of my priorities. I’m back to playing the long game again because this is it. I write full-time for a living now. There is no going back to the day job. I love writing for a living. To live to write, a good diet and a healthy dose of exercise must be part of my writing regimen.

~ Hey! I’m Robert Chazz Chute. Sign up for my newsletter to get updates and deals on new books, buy my tomes of epic delight and twisty suspense (pretty please with a thunderous thank you) and happy reading!

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Overload: How to deal with stress, burnout and all kinds of trouble.

Overload. Overload. OVERLOAD!

This month has been a roller coaster as I got my daughter off to university and dealt with unexpected financial issues. When I say, “overload,” we’re talking sleepless nights, endless evaluation and reiteration. Rent for my business had to be renegotiated and that back and forth still isn’t finalized after weeks. 

How is this relevant to the podcast? In this episode, we dive into:

  1. a fun story,
  2. recognizing overload and burnout, and
  3. dealing with the physical symptoms of mental stress.

Want plenty more strategies to deal with overload?

Get the book full of stress-busting tips: 

Want to support the podcast?

Please toss this podcast (and my books!) a five-star review wherever you get ’em. I need the money and attention.

Click the BECOME A PATRON link at AllThatChazz.com to get lots of nifty rewards. Special thanks to patron of the arts, reader and listener, RF Kacy for his contribution. Cheers, mate!

Happy Distractions

Every time I publish a podcast, I like to curate cool stuff to help you distract yourself where appropriate. (Yes, I mean don’t watch porn while you drink and drive.) This week, when you need a little stress relief, I suggest you check out Atypical on Netflix.

After binge watching Preacher, I was on the lookout for something to help me cool my jets. Atypical is great! It’s about a teenager on the spectrum who is trying to enter the dating world. It’s sweet and funny. I also love the family dynamics.

Jennifer Jason Leigh is annoying in just the right way and Michael Rappaporte is the fumbling dad who wears his heart on his sleeve. There are a few quick, funny and memorable lines between those two that tell you everything you need to know about the strains in their marriage. Atypical is killer. Watch it when you can.

On the other hand, is your life full of too many distractions? I talked about that, too. Here’s the link to that podcast episode! Click here.

The Obligatory Disclaimer:
I’m a writer and a massage therapist. Don’t take health advice from a podcast. The All That Chazz Stress Relief Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. I do this to help, not harm. Use at own risk. Do your own research. Beware of alligators. Your mother dresses you funny!

Cheers!

~ Chazz