Horror’s Exploration: A gentle invitation to my Plague of Days

Dark halfI  think a lot about you and I

taking up residence in Nowhere’s Middle.

I think how comfortable you are.

I want to make you uncomfortable but 

you’ll forgive me. Probably.

Discomfort is the trip explorers pay for.

I want to drag you into the darkness

and shine a light

on the secrets you keep from yourself.

My stories are about your secrets.

I probe your doubts with my tongue.

I prick your fears with a million little needles 

disguised as words.

My mission is to crawl inside your mind

to rearrange the furniture

to peer in cupboards

to reach into the rear of the junk drawer.

I dig behind bedroom walls.

I pry out dirty little truths

with sweet lies.

I write on your nerves. 

You read on the edge of your seat.

Not everyone who deserves to die

will be killed.

Photo1 Few among those you love will survive.

We’ll explore the cobwebbed basement together.

Brace yourself. There’s no armour over your heart where we’re going.

Once you think you’re ready,

see the world as I spin it.

Let’s take a trip into the Deceptive Familiar

at the sharp Edge of Nowhere

where heroes and villains 

trade black and white hats

for fun and profit and meaning.

We’ll find dreams and treasures

amid the foundation’s ruins

and Ruin’s foundation.

Take my hand at the top of the stairs.

Let’s descend together.

It’s the only way to see everything

and escape the tangled net of secrets

you keep in a three-pound box of bone. 

The One That Gets Sexy

Jesus Diaz hits it in Chicago!

In today’s podcast, a short rant about how the hive mind is out to control our thoughts (and how to escape your slavery to the mortal bonds of flesh). Also, the long-awaited erotic adventure kicks in right after a couple of fights to the death as I read the next chapter of my crime novel Higher Than Jesus. The chapter is  Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. It’s rad and you’ll love it even more if you catch the backstory and set up from the first in the series, Bigger Than Jesus.

Photo on 12-12-05 at 4.33 PMYou can read the rant and get sneak peeks of my new horror serial This Plague of Days at ThisPlagueofDays.com. (releasing soon!) 

More Chazz:

Cool+People+Podcast+FinalI appear on the Inverse Delirium podcast in a comedy sketch and you can hear me interact with another human being on the Cool People Podcast or see us on YouTube on the Robert Chazz Chute Channel.

This podcast is sponsored by my most excellent graphic designer, Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com. The opening music bed is Mistake the Getaway #2 by Kevin MacLeod of Incompetech.com.

Love the show? Please donate to keep us growing or leave a happy review on iTunes to keep us going. Thanks! You can find all the links to all my books at AllThatChazz.com.

Thanks for listening. Spread the word.

~ Chazz

 

 

I believe (but I’m not a belieber)

NSFW podcast of peril: Deathmatch with a nurse, combat in the ER, condemning Bush and Cheney, swearing in church, and Higher Than Jesus! I’m full of shenanigans in this, the 75th episode of the All That Chazz podcast. Frowned upon by the Amish. However, this program is approved by 96.2% of cool people, people who actually enjoy being entertained and 12.6% of cats. (Sorry, grumpy cats. We’ll work harder.)

FYI: SCROLL DOWN FOR DETAILS ABOUT MY CONTEST ON VINE. You could win

Please click to grab the gripping, funny crime thriller by Robert Chazz Chute.
Please click to grab the gripping, funny crime thriller by Robert Chazz Chute.

an autographed copy of Bigger Than Jesus if you’re closest to the number of posts it takes for me to get to the end of “Another Day at the Office”, a short story from Self-help for Stoners.

Self Help for Stoners JPEGAt the top of the show: Vengeance is mine! HaHAhahahahahaha!

At 0:45 What I believe. (Mostly, sorta. This gets fun.)

At 3:49 Author versus bad nurse. She wins. I promise vengeance. (I get so mad and scared I create a new website DecisionToChange.com.) Get healthy with me at DecisionToChange.com.

10:28 Double Jeopardy, a reading from my crime novel Higher Than Jesus

At 22:24 An invitation to: AllThatChazz.com, Higher+than+Jesus+Front+1029ChazzWrites.com, ThisPlagueofDays.com, onlysixseconds.wordpress.com, CoolPeoplePodcast.com, and DecisionToChange.com.

Music today was “All This” by Kevin MacLeod of Incompetech.com. 

Podcast art by sponsor Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com.

Like the show? Please leave your compliments in an iTunes review. Or donate. Or buy a book. (See all the links to all the books at AllThatChazz.com, including the link to Higher Than Jesus if you can’t stand my reading of my funny crime novel.)

The Gambler

Jesus is under the gun again and praying isn’t working. Maybe more deception will help. It usually staves off disaster, at least temporarily. However, Marv seems awfully intent on killing him.

For more on books of suspense by Robert Chazz Chute, go to AllThatChazz.com.

Today’s sponsor is the amazing graphic designer, Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com.

Tools of the Trade: Things go awry

The podcast name has changed from Self-help for Stoners to All That Chazz. All will be explained. Meanwhile, assassins wait for Jesus in Tools of the Trade. Jesus has to get into a locked apartment and the tension stretches out to comedy because, as usual, things go awry for our favorite Cuban hit man.

Big secret: In the next episode of the podcast, something great and unprecedented is coming. Since I’m all about suspense, be sure to tune in for Episode 50 in just a few days.

Check out all the links for more suspense and to jump to the end of the crime novel, Bigger Than Jesus, by Robert Chazz Chute (available in ebook and paperback.) Make all your Amazon.com purchases through AllThatChazz.com to support the podcast. Thanks!

Author reading: The Bugman of Surfside Beach

Somebody’s going to die. Brace yourself. Jesus hasn’t drowned, but he’ll soon wish he had. He does get rescued, but there are more surprises in store in this episode of Bigger Than Jesus by Robert Chazz Chute.

Want to be a producer for the show? Your donations get mentions for your business and help support the production of the podcast. Do your Amazon shopping through AllThatChazz.com and that helps cover the bandwidth. If you’ve got no money (and who does?) you can leave a happy review on iTunes to help others find the show. Cheers!

Okay, that’s it. No more whoring and begging until the next episode! 

A Double Shot of Suspense

Did Han shoot first? This week Jesus comes under fire from Jimmy Lima, underboss of New York’s Spanish mob, The Machine. A game of bad versus evil turns from cherry pie to gunfire in two (count ’em, two!) chapters of Bigger Than Jesus by Robert Chazz Chute. Listen for my stereotypically Canadian pronunciation of “about”.

Grab it on Amazon, and if you shop on Amazon for anything, please do so through AllThatChazz.com and they throw me a few crumbs to support the podcast and Ex Parte Press. Thank you!