VIDEO: How I tricked my brain to like doing hard things.
If you are feeling less motivated, part of your energy management strategy might be to curate where your dopamine fixes come from. A little dopamine detox might get your mojo back in gear and refresh your energies.
To boost your productivity, dare to give these strategies a try for a day. Let me know if it helps. And, hey, total honesty? I know this is hard. I had this video bookmarked for a couple of days before I got around to listening to it. That done, I think it makes a lot of sense.
This audio includes a short box breathing exercise and a mixture of the contract/relax technique and visualization to help you relieve stress.
Do not listen to this while you are driving or doing anything that requires your attention elsewhere.
Last week, I wrote about the 3A Triad of Stress Management. Today, I’d like to share a breathing and visualization exercise with the aim of:
Staying in the moment to
deepen breathing in order to
boost body awareness to
ease bodily tension
and cue a more calm state of mind.
With practice, you can consciously ease your stress and deepen relaxation.
Your body is constantly listening in on your thoughts and reacts to those thoughts unconsciously. As you entertain stressful thoughts, the red-light reflex kicks in and your muscles tense up.
Here’s the good news:
Using time-tested mindfulness techniques, you can activate the green-light reflex. Your mind is listening to your body, too. By deepening your breathing and consciously easing muscle tension, your autonomic nervous system sends out a useful signal: “I am not being chased by a bear.”
You can use box breathing anytime. Breathe in for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4, repeat as necessary to increase calm in the face of stress.
The rest of today’s audio exploration is meant to be performed on your bed, on a couch or on the floor if you can get comfortable. As long as you are comfortable and can take approximately 20 minutes to yourself without distractions, you can deepen this practice to ease your stress.
This recording has been a Blanket Fort Production by Robert Chazz Chute of AllThatChazz.com, all rights reserved.
“Yeah. Like, is there a central theme to all your work?”
That put me back on my heels for a moment, but I came up with something. It’s this:
Whether I’m writing science fiction, apocalyptic novels, or crime thrillers, it’s always about the drama of closing the space between how things are and how they ought to be.
This, my friends, is why fiction is better than non-fiction. Fiction has to make more sense than reality. Looking around, much of our new reality fails to make sense. The entire world is under quarantine and the economy is unplugged. Mismanagement abounds. Some policy failures seem indistinguishable from actively trying to kill the disenfranchised. Nope, not kidding. If you count yourself among the disadvantaged, you feel that punch in your heart, head, and guts.
Okay, okay! We get it, Rob! Things are bad. What’s your point?
My dad will turn 94 this year. He often says, “I’ve never seen anything like this.” I understand his culture shock, but our existential dread is not unique. The difference now is that more people face existential dread of the same thing simultaneously.
If you’ve ever waited by the phone for test results from a doctor, you recognize this awful sensation. If you’re feeling bored, unproductive, overstimulated, under-stimulated, sad, angry or depressed, you’re not alone. The poor or differently-abled often feel trapped and frustrated, much like this. Many people feel as you do and this is not new to them. Even under normal circumstances, many have difficulty leaving their homes and moving about freely for a variety of reasons. Want to take a ride just to get out of the house? Okay. Lots of people can’t afford cars. A ride on a bus, if there is public transport, can be dangerous.
My point is not that you shouldn’t complain.
Vent if you need to do so. Your feelings are valid. Your broken toe doesn’t feel better because someone else gets their leg amputated. I spread my sympathy around everywhere without holding back.
I want to make a more subtle point:
For all of us, each day dealing with COVID-19 is one more straw atop the camel’s back (and that poor camel’s knees are trembling). For me, it’s the helplessness that gets to me. If you aren’t classified as an essential worker, your job in the pandemic is to do nothing but stay home. Doing nothing is very much akin to helplessness. I want it fixed. I want to fix it. I want people to survive and thrive. I’m sure you do, too. For most of us, we are playing a waiting game. Failing to wait can be deadly, so this is a game we don’t want to lose. The stakes are high and, like you, I’m feeling that nervy pain daily.
So it’s time to revisit something from Do the Thing.
In stressful situations, we’re biologically programmed to flee, fight or freeze. Those could be more useful responses when our species was hunted by evil clowns riding Bengal tigers through primordial jungles.* That’s probably less helpful here.
To better cope with our stress, we want choices, not automatic and autonomic responses.
Here are your choices using 3A Stress Management
In any stressful situation, you choose from the Alter/Avoid/Accept Triad.
Alter: Change the frame and circumstance if and where you can. Make isolation more pleasant. Find helpful, happy and healthy distractions.
And ask for support.
Avoid: Get away from threats to your physical and mental health where possible (i.e. masks, physical distancing, isolation, etc.)
And ask for support.
Accept: Don’t try to control that which is beyond your control.
And ask for support.
I hope you find 3A stress management helpful. This is me, still trying to close the distance between an Ought and an Is, even in non-fiction. If you’re searching for more stress management ideas, check out Do the Thing.
Much love and be well!
Rob
* What? Nobody ever told you about the evil clowns riding Bengal tigers through primordial jungles? Jeez. Read a science book, will ya?!
A. Gilligan’s Island. B. In orbit on the ISS. C. It’s the plot of the Martian and you’re Matt Damon.
Mars would be optimal but for the loneliness. The International Space Station has a lovely view. If you live with a Gilligan who’s always screwing everything up for everybody, you’re going to have to tie up your little buddy and spray him with Lysol three times a day.
Okay, cool. We’re stuck. How do you plan to use this time and stay sane?
For many of us, it’s been about a week or so in isolation.
I write books for a living. My struggle kicked in before the coronavirus arrived on our shores. For the last three months, I’ve been having a hard time getting into my job. I love writing once I start, but, ooh, it can be hard to start. As Stephen King says, “The scariest part is right before you start.”
I have a book about two-thirds written and several other projects that need attention. After publishing Citizen Second Class on Christmas Day, I fell into a kaleidoscope of distractions, working on marketing plans, developing book plots and proposals, goofing off a little, and entertaining a killer funk. Funks are not fun. I need to focus. Maybe you feel it, too? Are the walls closing in? Let’s figure this shit out.
We’re in isolation and creeping dread has set in. What’s next?
After this experience, I hope we all develop more compassion for prisoners, especially those in solitary. If you live alone, you can be quite safe from the coronavirus. However, isolation takes its own toll.
When you go to prison, you can go one of two ways: work out with heavy weights and get huge or sleep sixteen hours a day. As a chronic insomniac, I’ve found it quite easy to sleep lately. I especially enjoy those delicious afternoon naps. Nothing wrong with napping unless it’s a sign of depression stealing into your life. If it’s a retreat you need, I advocate for it. If you’re sleeping so much that it’s messing with your plans and relationships, you might want to reevaluate. I know I am.
Rob’s plan to shake off the funk:
Stay informed, not overwhelmed. Information is good. Tragedy tourism through the internet is harmful.
Structure. What’s the plan for the day? Set alarms. Do the Thing!
I try not to waste time obsessing about the things I can’t control.
My favorite playlist is called Deadly. It’s my “Get up and go beat ’em up workout music.” Better that than yet another podcast that beats me over the head with the same information over and over.
Move more. I don’t want to go near my doctor’s office for the next year if I can help it. Exercise is my new medical appointment and it has to happen daily.
Stop with the stress eating. More veggies, water, and less processed crap.
Stay connected with the social circle. Humans are social animals. Yes, even most introverts need some human interaction. Talking to yourself and to pets is okay but a little more feedback than an echo off the bare walls is nice.
Dance. Sing. Swear.
Acknowledge that striving for excellence doesn’t require perfection. Perfectionism is a form of self-loathing. We don’t have to teach our kids quantity surveying and particle physics just because they’re out of school.
We’re at a huge historical milestone. We will all remember this time. Maintain morale whenever possible. Make jokes. Share fun memes of dogs doing fun dog stuff.
Patience.
Kindness.
Distractions can helpful when they don’t fill the entire day. Sure, watch Netflix but don’t scroll through it aimlessly for hours.
Work on your hobbies, play some games.
Read those books you’ve been meaning to read. (If you’re reading mine and you like them, please review them. Thanks!)
Got clutter? You know what to do. Sure, it’s not necessarily fun but, like exercise, you’ll feel better and lighter afterward. Bonus: You’ll find that thing you thought you lost!
Reach out electronically. Call somebody you haven’t spoken to in a long time. Tell Dad you’re the one who put a dent in his car that time. It’s not like he can come over and take a swing at you. (Or tell him you love him. That’ll freak him out.)
You’re already washing your hands obsessively. Good! Don’t skip showering the rest of you each day, too.
Wash your clothes. You can’t get a haircut, but keep up appearances.
Helping others will help you.
Acknowledge that it’s okay to feel bad, to stress, to get mad. I will try to stick to these plans, but I will not beat myself up when I fail to hit a home run for every at-bat. Find the balance.
Watch out for binge drinking, binge eating, binge drugging etc. Get those harmful lures out of your home and get help if you need it.
I didn’t realize how much I depended on the routine of writing in a coffee shop until the coffee shop was no longer an option. My appointment with my laptop is every morning at 10 a.m.
Not all suggestions are for everyone all the time. Do what you can with what you have. Stay as safe as you can.
Check in with anyone you suspect may be at risk of self-harm or harm by others.
We are all doing hard time. If you need help, there are still resources available to you. If that’s you, please try to be brave for just one more minute and call a friend or an agency that will offer assistance. Contemplating self-harm? Google “International Suicide Hotline.” Suffering domestic violence? Get help here: https://www.domesticshelters.org/. Whatever your mental health issue, make the call. There is an organization filled with good people eager to support you. You are needed. Hold on!
If you are an essential worker who doesn’t have the option of isolating at home, you get to swear more than the rest of us. Godspeed and feel our love for you because you are a goddamn hero. We all salute and thank you. When we get through this, it will be a big party and you’ll be the guest of honor. Hold on!
Whoever and wherever you are, hold on.
(Got a suggestion of your own? Please, add them in the comments.)
This month has been a roller coaster as I got my daughter off to university and dealt with unexpected financial issues. When I say, “overload,” we’re talking sleepless nights, endless evaluation and reiteration. Rent for my business had to be renegotiated and that back and forth still isn’t finalized after weeks.
How is this relevant to the podcast? In this episode, we dive into:
a fun story,
recognizing overload and burnout, and
dealing with the physical symptoms of mental stress.
Want plenty more strategies to deal with overload?
Get the book full of stress-busting tips:
Want to support the podcast?
Please toss this podcast (and my books!) a five-star review wherever you get ’em. I need the money and attention.
Click the BECOME A PATRON link at AllThatChazz.com to get lots of nifty rewards. Special thanks to patron of the arts, reader and listener, RF Kacy for his contribution. Cheers, mate!
Happy Distractions
Every time I publish a podcast, I like to curate cool stuff to help you distract yourself where appropriate. (Yes, I mean don’t watch porn while you drink and drive.) This week, when you need a little stress relief, I suggest you check out Atypical on Netflix.
After binge watching Preacher, I was on the lookout for something to help me cool my jets. Atypical is great! It’s about a teenager on the spectrum who is trying to enter the dating world. It’s sweet and funny. I also love the family dynamics.
Jennifer Jason Leigh is annoying in just the right way and Michael Rappaporte is the fumbling dad who wears his heart on his sleeve. There are a few quick, funny and memorable lines between those two that tell you everything you need to know about the strains in their marriage. Atypical is killer. Watch it when you can.
The Obligatory Disclaimer: I’m a writer and a massage therapist. Don’t take health advice from a podcast. The All That Chazz Stress Relief Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. I do this to help, not harm. Use at own risk. Do your own research. Beware of alligators. Your mother dresses you funny!
It occurred to me this week that a lot of people are on a quest to get to “Screw You Money.” That’s the polite way to put it. SYM is the amount of money it takes to own the big house, tool around on a boat just for fun, vacation whenever you want and live the lotto winner’s dream. In other words, when you get to SYM, you get to say, “No,” to whoever the hell you please.
The trouble is, to get to that point, you pretty much have to say, “Yes.” To everybody.
I talk quite a bit about this issue in Do the Thing. If your aim is to do a thing well, be in high demand and sell to a lot of customers only to turn around and tell them all to go to hell…you might not get to the destination you want. You might not be doing the thing that makes you happy now.
My parents worked very hard for a huge chunk of their lives and it seemed to me they spent a lot of that time frustrated or angry. Their work was valuable but I don’t know if they were in the right spot. My mother became a businessperson but it was her time as an OR nurse that she spoke of most fondly. When my parents finally retired, my mother was not in the best of health and she didn’t get to enjoy it much. They took time off, a week here and a week there, each year. They traveled. But they sacrificed so much for those trips away.
In the end, they got their SYM, but they kind of got screwed, too. Mom was in a wheelchair for a long time before passing away from cancer. They worked hard and “did well,” but their grasp at freedom as a couple seemed too fleeting.
Are You Doing the Right Thing?
Every job has its frustrations but if it’s all frustrating, you might be in the wrong job. As a writer, I wrote for free for years before I turned to freelancing seriously. I loved writing so much it was a compulsion. Early this week I shared on Facebook that I had skipped writing for two days. On the third morning I awoke anxious and eager to get back to work. My books were waiting and I had to get to them. I hope you feel that way about your work, that it brings you happiness and solace. If your work is play, you’ll never work another day in your life.
That’s not an option for everyone, of course. Maybe you need retraining. Maybe you don’t have the resources yet. Perhaps you are doing a job that doesn’t suit you but I sure hope that is a temporary situation and you have a plan to escape. We spend so much time working, we should be doing what we enjoy in the long term. My parents taught me that any job is better than no job. Maybe, but don’t let the job you hate turn into a career. Life’s too short. Some tough guy (like my Dad) would tell me to suck it up and do a job I hate for more money. That’s not for me. I’d crash and burn. I would hate everything. Besides, the people who succeed seem to love what they do (before they’re successful) and often continue to do the work long after they don’t need more money! Stephen King is still writing. Jeff Bezos is still bent on taking over the world. Pinky and the Brain are still scheming to do the same somewhere, I’m sure.
So don’t go for SYM. That level of success is a side effect of success. Saying yes, being genuine, entertaining, helpful and useful: these are the routes to having the option of saying no. Chances are that the habit of creativity and service will continue long after you don’t “have to” say yes, anymore.
Podcast Recommendations: Lots about Keto!
This week’s best podcast award goes to The Joe Rogan Experience for Joe’s guest Dom D’Agostino, Ph.D. He talked in depth about the benefits of the ketogenic diet. From Joe’s website (which you’ll get at the link above):
“Dom D’Agostino, Ph.D., is an assistant professor in the Department of Molecular Pharmacology and Physiology at the University of South Florida Morsani College of Medicine, and a senior research scientist at the Institute for Human and Machine Cognition (IHMC). He was also recently a crew member of the NASA NEEMO 22 project.”
When the good doctor talks keto, he mentions “macros” on the podcast. That was the only thing he didn’t explain in depth. If you get a keto app on your phone (there are many) you, too, can run your brain and body on ketones and burn fat instead of glucose. Macros are what you track to make sure you’re staying in healthy ketosis: Carb, Fat and Protein consumption. Keto diets are useful for losing weight and combatting Type 2 Diabetes, but the research suggests keto has many more surprising applications. Keto can be a useful supplement to cancer treatment and ALS as well as a treatment for epileptic seizures! Great stuff from Dr. D’Agostino (who is also an aquanaut who works with NASA!)
Keto Apps
The app I use is MyKeto. I also do intermittent fasting. For a fasting timer, try Vora (for more tracking) or TrackYourFast which is a simpler timer with no tracking. You don’t have to use intermittent fasting to do keto. That’s up to you, of course. I can tell you that since I started doing it, I don’t get sugar highs and sugar crashes. I feel sharper the more keto I go.
Runner-up podcast this week is Chris Hardwick’s interview with actor Bruce Campbell, star of many movies and TV shows. You probably know him from The Evil Dead or Burn Notice. This might be one of the best interviews I’ve heard because it’s clear neither the host nor the guest wanted the fun to end. Bruce does voices, tells stories and he’s a very funny guy. Listen to that episode of The Nerdist here.
Book recommendations
I’m finally reading Mark Sisson’s book, The Primal Blueprint. He lays out a great case for eating well by consuming plants and animals, cutting out the processed foods and exercising in ways that are not overly demanding. Check out his book here.
BONUS:
I usually recommend buying Do the Thing by Robert Chute. Instead, this week I’m recommending you ease your stress with my criminal autobiography. Brooklyn in the Mean Time, by your buddy, Robert Chazz Chute, is the story of my trip back to NYC in the ’90s, on the run from trouble and heading straight back into a web of lies, danger and stolen jewels. I know! Crazy, right?
Please toss this podcast (and my books!) a five-star review wherever you get ’em. I need the money and attention.
Click the BECOME A PATRON link at AllThatChazz.com to get lots of nifty rewards. Special thanks to patron of the arts, reader and listener, RF Kacy for his contribution. Cheers, mate!
The Obligatory Disclaimer: I’m a writer and a massage therapist. Don’t take health advice from a podcast. The All That Chazz Stress Relief Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. I do this to help, not harm. Use at own risk. Do your own research. Beware of alligators. Your mother dresses you funny!
Massage Therapy continues to evolve as a profession. Whether your needs include stress management, rehabilitating injury or relieving pain, it’s a modality worth your consideration. I’ve been a therapist for 24 years.
Here are the top ten myths about massage therapy:
1. “No pain, no gain.”
We can achieve great changes without turning it into a test of anybody’s manhood. We aren’t here to torture you. We’re here to help and it doesn’t help to progress to deep tissue massage too quickly. Some people pride themselves on how tough they are but that’s really not part of the equation. Soft tissue is meant to be soft, vascular and pliable. If your muscle is like a rock, rushing into deep tissue work will only make the muscle contract. We try to coax the body toward positive change, not coerce it.
2. “Sorry! I forgot to shave my legs!”
We don’t care and it doesn’t matter. Relax. Few of the guys we treat shave their legs so you shouldn’t worry about it, either, ladies.
3. “Massage Therapy is just passive.”
Not the way I do it and that’s true for many therapists. I look at each treatment as a course correction. I’m trying to help you get your body to a more optimal state but it’s the stuff you do every day that will make a difference. To that end, I frequently suggests remedial exercise and tactics to help you along the road to recovery, rehabilitation and ease of movement.
4. “Massage is just a feel good thing.”
The research suggests it’s much more than just making you feel good. The goals and scope of practice for massage therapy include: “the assessment of the soft tissue and joints of the body and the treatment and prevention of physical dysfunction and pain of the soft tissue and joints by manipulation to develop, maintain, rehabilitate or augment physical function, or relieve pain.” (Massage Therapy Act, Ontario, 1991.)
5. “Anybody can massage.”
Professionals take extensive training to treat the body and to know when not to treat the body. If you want professional bodywork, hire a pro and you’ll soon see the difference between that and the work of an amateur.
6. “Women can’t massage as deep as men.”
Are you looking to get bruised? I tell people if you’re looking for a female therapist to prove you wrong, just tell her you don’t think she can make you say uncle. Of course, torturing you is not the point of therapy and (most) therapists won’t rise to the bait. Therapists typically use body weight and savvy techniques to avoid undue wear and tear on their bodies. They can apply all the pressure you need. Some clients think they need more pressure than they’re getting. That’s a different conversation because, typically. with an well-placed elbow and a lean, that’s plenty of pressure for most clients.
7. “Massage therapists need you to go back again and again before you get results.”
Simply untrue. I get a “before picture” of each client before they get on the table using palpation, testing, observation and subjective measures. When I’m done, I expect to see measurable changes (e.g. range of motion) after the first session and every session after that. If what I’m doing isn’t working, something serious is going on or you need a different approach to the issues treated. I’m not out to soak anybody. If you don’t feel the changes, I refer out until you get the help you need. Most clients, by far, see and feel positive changes right away when we do the “after picture” with the outtake interview.
8. “Massage isn’t for serious problems.”
I don’t cure cancer but I do provide helpful care to people with cancer and other serious conditions. I treat chronic pain and help with a number of serious musculoskeletal conditions. The most common issues I deal with are headaches, neck pain, shoulder injuries and low back pain. Those problems are very serious to anyone who suffers them.
9. “Massage is all fluff and buff.”
If your experience of bodywork is limited to a massage on a Jamaican beach on your honeymoon, I can understand that misapprehension. As detailed above, we do use multiple techniques to help patients with many conditions. That said, there’s nothing wrong with relaxation massage. Maybe a lighter, stress-relieving massage is just what you need. Approximately 20% of my colleagues work in spas and I don’t turn up my nose at giving or receiving a drool-inducing relaxation massage. It’s an hour in heaven where nothing is asked of you. Relaxation massage is a treat for the senses.
10. “Massage feels good but it doesn’t last.”
I can’t control how your body will react to treatment but how you react largely depends on the body you bring to the table. As I mentioned above, I help put the soft tissue in an optimal state. Once I’ve reduced your triggerpoints, pain and and hypertonicity, it’s up to you to keep the good feelings going. I usually suggest therapeutic exercises and self-care tips to that end. The progression of your treatment plan largely depends on what you do after you leave my clinic. (Tip: Don’t get your low back into great shape only to ruin it by digging up an acre of garden on the first day after I helped you make the pain go away!)
I’m happy to help anyone with their pain and stress management needs. If you’re in the London, Ontario area, you can book an appointment at my clinic by going to www.MassageTherapyScience.com.
You’ll find links to all my books up the right hand side of my author page at AllThatChazz.com. I write crime thrillers, suspense and sci-fi. Enjoy!
~ Robert Chazz Chute is a massage therapist who writes science fiction, crime thrillers, apocalyptic fiction and Do the Thing, the last stress-management book you’ll ever need.
Pick up the last stress-busting book you’ll ever need here.
