#Giveaway: Murders Among Dead Trees

Merry Christmas! I just published my last short story collection, probably ever (but this is the definitive one!) From Dec. 17 to Dec. 21st, you can download and read it for free. 

What’s inside?

In End of the Line, a bill collector tries to con the wrong woman, a dangerously powerful one. The Fortune Teller tells the truth and a blind date takes a bad turn. Clean Up is a reunion in which surprising family secrets are revealed to bad ends. In A Gift for Curses, a deadly god walks among us and he’s not much happy with us, either. Cuthian’s Wake is a pick-up artist’s story of loss and discovery. In Sidewalkers, a social worker finds a strange power among the mentally ill might be infectious. The Express is a battle of wills between a hypnotherapist and a dangerous patient. In The Clawed Bathtub, a man is drowned (but “saving” him might mean something unexpected to his rescuer.) Expect two poems about my mother’s death that will claw your guts out. The novella, The Dangerous Kind, is a Stephen Kingesque journey: two orphaned brothers hunt deer in the woods outside Poeticule Bay, Maine, but only one will return. The Poeticule  Bay stories continue with Asia Unbound, in which a tormented Hollywood starlet reunites with her high school sweetheart. In Parting Shots, a morning DJ argues with God, unprepared for what happens if he wins. In Corrective Measures, a monster shows a curious mercy when he attempts to act as if he’s human. In Over & Out, a single dad tries to cope with his divorce and, in The Sum of Me, a couple finds a way to deal with credit card debt and dignity’s loss. In Vengeance is #1, a troubled girl is determined to get therapy — or vengeance — on a reluctant therapist. In Higher Power, a minister interprets a faulty light as a sign he must change his life, but is it already too late? I’ll Tell You What They Won’t is a nasty strategic plan, passed from father to son, for a lonely freedom. A boy finds forgiveness for his father at the bottom of the ocean in The Deep Reach. In The Scarecrow’s Stand, a killer rediscovers the truth about  himself when he loses his human mask. In New Therapeutic Approaches, the Dad from Over & Out reclaims his power and gets well in a confrontation between odd new allies and a trio of car thieves. A crush is headed for a crash in Another Narrow Escape when a suicidal teacher wakes to find a former student in her living room. The Migraine Train is a sneak peek at an upcoming book about a young actor with one bad mom and multiple bad dads. 

Expect strangeness, paranormal activity, crimes and revenge in a context much like the real skewed world: Everything appears normal until you look closer.

Download it now. The reading part is fairly crucial. What I’m saying is, it’s a good read, but you won’t enjoy licking it or trying to comb your hair with it. It’s creepy suspense and crime with paranormal twists. Parts of this collection have appeared in two previous ebooks. This volume adds many new stories, commentary, sneak peeks. It’s revamped and revved up. Try it and, if you love it, please leave a happy review. Cheers!

Don’t have a kindle? No problem. Read this on any device with a free reading app.

ChazzWrites.com wins among the top self-publishing blogs of 2012!

ChazzWrites.com, my blog about writing and publishing, made it as a top ten 2012 Finalist among Self-publishing blogs!

Very happy about becoming a finalist. Great company on this list! I’m hoping this translates to more sales of the books of the blog:

Crack the Indie Author Code 

and

Write Your Book: Aspire to Inspire

Or, for the latest, go to ChazzWrites.com

The weirdness happened again (+ The 7 Words or Less Contest Announcement)

Get all the details and enter the 7 Words or Less Contest here at ChazzWrites.com. 

Amazon sent me a promotional email about my book, Bigger Than Jesus. If everybody else who loves suspense and thrillers gets this and buys one…well, yay!

Meanwhile, did you know you could get your name in my next thriller, Hollywood Jesus? It could happen if you have a funny slogan. Have fun with it.

Get all the details and enter here at ChazzWrites.com. 

Higher Than Jesus: Grab the no cost download now

Higher Than Jesus, my hardboiled crime novel packed with sex and violence, is free on Amazon this week (Nov. 19 to the 23rd.) You don’t have to have a kindle to read it. With a free kindle reading app, you can access it on any device.  Click the cover to grab it now and please, if you love it, review it and spread the word. Thanks. (There are more free ebook offers inside.)

Click to get Higher Than Jesus free from Nov. 19 to Nov. 23, 2012!

Authors & Publishers: How to Make a Media Kit Part 2

For more writing & publishing advice, you could go nuts and buy Crack the Indie Author Code. Just sayin’.

Part One of this article and points 1 -7 appear at ChazzWrites.com. For a sample media kit, please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter in the link to the right or send your email address to expartepress at gmail dot com and I’ll email the pdfs to you anyway. However, if you mention your website in the newsletter sign-up form, I’ll give your page a plug in the All That Chazz Podcast. I’m easy that way.

Now, on to more fun yet crucial points about creating a killer media kit: 

8. Some people think email is easier to delete so they send boxes to media outlets. Stick with email. You’ll never hear from a bunch of the journalists you approach. Printing out a fancy press kit and trying something UPS-delivered with a red ribbon on it is not worth the expense. Better to hit them up for editorial coverage several times through the year and do it cheaply instead of betting it all on one killer package that has to hit now to pay off. Save some of your chips for the next roll. Seriously, please save your money. A document that arrives in the mail is just as easy to dump in the garbage can beside the desk. If the package is perfumed in any way, you just went from quirky and interesting to creepy stalker.

9. Unless you’ve cured cancer and have been keeping it a secret from the world’s medical community until now, don’t pay for a huge media release from a press release propagator. I tried it and, besides jumping through their annoying hoops, it had all the amusing charm of throwing money out the window of a moving car. It was expensive, had no measurable impact and their sales team kept calling until I got mean.

10. Keep the press release short and to the point. More than one page is a strain and a mistake. If you’ve got too much to share it will get lost so use it in your catalogue page. Bullet points are awesome if you can fit your content to your pitch. A solid FAQ page with lots of white space is an alluring alternative. Don’t send a video on CD. There’s a good chance the production values will be too low and they’ll also be afraid that if they watch it, they’ll die in seven days. (Give them a Youtube link instead if you feel your video is that strong.)

11. Provide some detail in your author bio that establishes you as an expert: Awards won, relevant job experience, books written or other media in which you’ve appeared. Keep it short (or go longer if it tells a story. Rags to riches is good. Plucky, spunky and coming up will probably have to do.) You have an advantage over all the other press releases your target will receive today: Every reporter wants to publish  a book, too, so they want to meet you and find out how you cheated, lied and took enough drugs to get this stupidly quixotic. 

12. Think visually and use images: Luckily, this is where your killer book covers come in. To make sure the attachments got opened so they could see and appreciate all my awesome covers, I used this ad designed by Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com at the bottom of my cover letter: 

13. Provide your name, contact numbers, email address and websites. It’s a really good idea to remember this point so they can contact you for the interview unless you are wicked clairvoyant. 

14. When they interview you, be positive and chipper and helpful. It’s not in the bag until it’s in print or on air, so pretend you’re an extrovert. Later you can go back to being miserable in private. I am.

15. Hit multiple news outlets over time. It’s unlikely one media event will sell a lot of books. You could get a bit of a bump depending on the venue, but awareness takes time. Sales usually require repeated encounters as you permeate the world’s consciousness. Don’t bet everything on one roll of the dice and keep your expectations low to very conservative. Success always pleasantly surprises me.

16. Someone will be unhappy about your apparent success, however deceptive appearances may be. Ignore them. Several someones may contact you to write their book idea (as happened to me after a much-publicized contest win.) Run away screaming at full speed with your hands over your head. Change phone numbers, and country of residence if they persist.

17. Remember that you don’t do this for the fame and riches. It’s all about the writing and the orgies with the Roman toga theme. Get back to the keyboard and TO-GA! TO-GA! TO-GA!

~ Robert Chazz Chute is the author of a bunch of cool, helpful and suspenseful books that you can buy here. How suspiciously convenient.

1 cool video, 1 true story, 2 books of non-fiction & 5 books of fun lies

Video by Kit Foster of Kit Foster Design.com

Click to get Higher Than Jesus free from Nov. 19 to Nov. 23, 2012!

True Story: I ran into a guy in the grocery store today I used to serve in my old job, the one before I started whisking people away to strange worlds. The last time I saw him, as he walked out the door, he said, “By the way, I won’t be buying your books.”

THUD! WHAT?!

“But Self-help for Stoners is humor and suspense!” I protested. Now I’ve written a lot more books and they’re still not for the humor-impaired or the prissy!

(Sorry, E, but you hurt my feelings…well…you hurt my feeling.)

Please click here for all my books and enjoy!

Higher Than Jesus  ~ My clever hit man fails miserably at group therapy, gets laid and tries to escape his addictions with his soul intact.

Bigger Than Jesus ~ My funny, luckless hit man tries to escape the mob he betrayed with stolen mob money and the love of his life. 

Sex, Death & Mind Control ~ Powerfully persuasive people are out to get you. Read this one with the lights on.

The Dangerous Kind & Other Stories ~ Poeticule Bay, Maine: A town so small, it feels like you’re trapped in a coffin. 

Self-help for Stoners ~ Self-help made out of suspense to make you laugh out loud.

Crack the Indie Author Code ~ Get inspired and stay on track to write your book.

Write Your Book: Aspire to Inspire ~ More publishing strategies to write that book you’re dreaming about.