Guess which apocalypse will kill you

There is an apocalypse coming no one talks about. Try to guess which end of the world scenario I’m not writing about before you get to the end of this post. My books will help you with the process of elimination.

  • Endemic (coming soon) is a nerdy and neurotic person combatting sociopaths while trying to survive a viral apocalypse.
  • Citizen Second Class is about poverty and starvation amid a climate catastrophe and greed.
  • AFTER Life is about artificial intelligence weaponizing medical technology to take over the world.
  • This Plague of Days is a zombie apocalypse (and other species evolving to take over the world).
  • The Night Man is about PTSD, societal failure, family drama, war, poverty, and regret.
  • Wallflower is a time travel novel about second chances after a lot of bad decisions.
  • The Dimension War Series is a coming-of-age story amid a war story.
  • Amid Mortal Words is about the loss of control and taking chances on a better future.
  • Brooklyn in the Mean Time is about vengeance, absolution, and redemption.
  • Robot Planet is about technological revolution and failure versus the human spirit.
  • The Hit Man Series is about violence, vengeance, and escape amid a broken America.
  • All Empires Fall is an anthology of five end-of-the-world stories and the common denominator is dealing with other people while everything falls apart.

Have you guessed the missing apocalypse yet?

Climate wars are a big deal, but I touched on that in Citizen Second Class. We could talk about the Misinformation War or new civil war scenarios, but Endemic has that covered. I dealt with extinction by killer asteroid in All Empires Fall. If you guessed the nuclear threat, Amid Mortal Words has that, too. You might have guessed the looming threat of antibiotic resistance. But, no, I’m thinking of something utterly devastating to the future of humanity. It’s close and almost no one ever talks about even beginning to deal with this extinction-level event.

The apocalypse that haunts me is this: In 60 years, Earth will have insufficient viable topsoil to grow 95% of all crops.


Read that last sentence again and ponder its significance. My kids will be alive for this. Coffee, bananas, and almonds will disappear first. Then everything else.

Sixty years and we aren’t dealing with the threat. There are no massive contingency plans. Unless helpful aliens are waiting to swoop in, no one is coming to rescue us. We’ll probably run out of soil before we run out of usable water, but it feels like it’s all a race to the end, doesn’t it?

So…call me Mr. Sunshine and read my books now, while you still can.

COMING THIS MONTH!

What happens when a pandemic never ends? Find out in Endemic.

Neurotic and nerdy, former book editor Ovid Fairweather is trapped in New York as everything falls apart.

All her life, she’s been a nail. To survive the viral apocalypse, she’ll have to become a hammer.

Punch, punch, jab, jab, hook.

Mostly great news about new books!

I’ve been working for a long time to build up to this moment. I love getting new books out into the world. It was a ton of hard work but I just hit publish on a short story collection, a box set, and a new thriller! Then, this morning, the car had to go to the shop, the drugstore informed me that something our insurance had covered no longer did and bam! There’s that nasty eye infection. HA! Crazy ups and downs, right? Ow, my eye hurts.

Still, it’s a good day. I’m at the coffee office waiting to hear from the garage, working away fairly happily and waiting for my doctor’s appointment this afternoon. I can complain, but not too much.

The new books, Rob. Tell us about the books!

Available now on Amazon in ebook and paperback.

My funny deadly hit man, Jesus Diaz, is back in Resurrection, A HIt Man Thriller!

In
Bigger Than Jesus, his goal was to escape New York’s Spanish mob. His ex got out of the gangster life with two bags of stolen mob money. Now the Machine is after her. Hunted and cornered, the little Cuban hit man and the lovely Lily Vasquez will have to team up to survive. Lily is deadly, too. When trouble comes knocking, she asks herself, what would Jesus do?

Sometime Soon, Somewhere Close is available on Amazon in ebook and paperback. The ebook is only 99 cents!

Seven crimes, seven stories. This anthology (only 99 cents!) will keep you turning pages through the night.

Each short story is set in a different place but each one hits hard, sometime soon, somewhere close. Discover the gripping story behind the missing fisherman in Nova Scotia. In Detroit, witness the aborted birth of a monster. In Ames, you’ll find a bullied boy’s inelegant solution to stop his pain. I love these shorts. Bonus, the anthology is not that short. There’s plenty of meat in this collection of new fiction to keep you reading through the night. Enjoy!

The fun of this series comes from the witty dialogue, hardboiled action and a whole heapin’ helpin’ of “How the heck is he going to get out of this one?” The storytelling is unusual and the plots are unpredictable.

For a limited time, the first three books in the
Hit Man Series, are available in this e-box set for just 99 cents! I know many of my readers discovered my fiction because of my most popular series, This Plague of Days. I appreciate it, but I hope some zombie/vampire/human conflict fans will give my noir crime stories a chance, too. (You get all the action and all the fun of three suspenseful thrillers for less than a buck. In print, it would be over 700 pages!) So, if you don’t know Jesus, get Bigger Than Jesus, Higher Than Jesus and Hollywood Jesus all in one fun package.

BONUS: Not sure about taking on the roaring rapids in
Resurrection? You’ll get a sneak peek at Resurrection, A Hit Man Thriller at the end of the box set.

I’m off to yet another doctor’s appointment now, but despite life’s speed bumps, I’m feeling great about these new books. You’re going to have a lot of fun with them. I had a great time writing them, especially the Nova Scotian dialogue in Sometime Soon, Somewhere Close. Some of us talk a little funny so…well, you’ll find out.

Happy reading!

~ I write suspenseful books in several genres. Just when you’re sure you know what’s about to happen, something else surprising will happen. I’m always on the hunt for super readers. Please sign up for updates here and if you dig my sling, please spread the happy word by reviewing the books on Amazon. Thanks!

Bookalicious! Kit Foster strikes again! It’s a hit, man!

I replaced my old covers with these new ones from my graphic designer!

In Hollywood Jesus, luckless Cuban hit man Jesus Diaz is out to take down a sex slave ring. This time, his opponent beats Jesus at the divine assassin’s games at every turn. Expect twists, jokes, big surprises and instructions on how to do some things you really shouldn’t.

Hollywood Jesus (1)

I love Kit Foster’s covers from KitFosterDesign.com.

The Omnibus (below) is your best deal:

3 novels in one ebook!

The story arc that runs through Bigger Than Jesus, Higher Than Jesus and Hollywood Jesus tells the origin story of the funniest hit man ever. As he tries to escape the thug life, you’ll hate to love him, but you will love him. 

The Divine Assassins Playbook (1)

Jokes, pop culture references, nefarious instructions on how to deal with your enemies.

The next book in the Hit Man Series is…

The third book in the Hit Man Series, Hollywood Jesus is almost here.

The editorial pipeline is full and humming with hardboiled activity.

Hearing happy things from beta readers. (Much thanks to the Steel Falcon Beta Read Team!) Aiming for launch October 1 for Hollywood Jesus, Rise of the Divine Assassin. It’s fun, funny, violent, poignant and violently funny. (I’d planned on calling it Deader Than Jesus. Then I decided to hurry up with the rebrand of the series.) Here’s what the cover will look like.

Cover blurb supplied by Hit Man fan and horror multitalented author Armand Rosamilia.

HJ COVER FINAL LADY IN REDFind Jesus on Amazon October 1, 2014.

Deader Than Jesus: The Hit Man Movie

I’m working on the last draft of the next instalment of the Hit Man Series, Deader Than Jesus. My luckless Cuban assassin has big plans for tonight. Here’s an excerpt from today’s revisions… 

Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, the character of the clever hit man will be played by Jesus Diaz. The actor’s motivation will be supplied by his lost childhood and tortured fool’s soul.

Take a deep breath. Step closer to the mirror. Look into your eyes and try to find the man behind the scary luchadore mask. What happens tonight shouldn’t be narrated by Morgan Freeman. Tough guy voice over work for tonight’s adventure should be supplied by the cowboy in the Big Lebowksi, Sam Elliot. Or maybe Dennis Leary could put a funny, edgy spin on what’s about to unfold, like he does for those truck commercials.

Somebody really badass should play you. If John Leguizamo isn’t available, can Jason Statham play a short Cuban?

I think the book will be out in a month (or less.) Stay tuned, and be sure to read Bigger Than Jesus and Higher Than Jesus. You can jump in anywhere, but you’ll get the full flavor if you start at the beginning. Enjoy.

Podcast: Get Shorty

Jesus is trapped in the back of the God Eats Diner. He’s just killed two people and feels kind of bad  about it. Worse, he just realized he’s been working for a really bad guy. Oh, and did I mention the back door is guarded by the guy he almost beat to death and there’s no way out because the diner is on fire? Facing a fiery death, my funny, loveable and luckless hit man has a few last thoughts to share. He also has some tough choices about how to die. Coming to Chicago was a mistake.

About the title: I love Elmore Leonard, but today’s author reading is from Higher Than Jesus. The chapter is called “Get Shorty”. Except for the last two chapters, all the chapter titles in Higher Than Jesus are from old movies. I’m a big noir and neo-noir film buff, so that’s why.

Our sponsor is the incredible graphic designer: Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com. Check out his site, his awesome professional portfolio and his very reasonable prices.

Check out my interviews with cool people on the Cool People Podcast at CoolPeoplePodcast.com. (Next guest, Hugh Howey!)

Buy, read, love, and review This Plague of Days and learn more about the horror serial at www.ThisPlagueOfDays.com.

To support the podcasts, buy the books or hit the handy donate buttons at AllThatChazz.com or CoolPeoplePodcast.com. If that doesn’t work with your budget, please leave a happy review on iTunes to spread the word. Thank you!

~ Chazz

The One That Gets Sexy

Jesus Diaz hits it in Chicago!

In today’s podcast, a short rant about how the hive mind is out to control our thoughts (and how to escape your slavery to the mortal bonds of flesh). Also, the long-awaited erotic adventure kicks in right after a couple of fights to the death as I read the next chapter of my crime novel Higher Than Jesus. The chapter is  Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. It’s rad and you’ll love it even more if you catch the backstory and set up from the first in the series, Bigger Than Jesus.

Photo on 12-12-05 at 4.33 PMYou can read the rant and get sneak peeks of my new horror serial This Plague of Days at ThisPlagueofDays.com. (releasing soon!) 

More Chazz:

Cool+People+Podcast+FinalI appear on the Inverse Delirium podcast in a comedy sketch and you can hear me interact with another human being on the Cool People Podcast or see us on YouTube on the Robert Chazz Chute Channel.

This podcast is sponsored by my most excellent graphic designer, Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com. The opening music bed is Mistake the Getaway #2 by Kevin MacLeod of Incompetech.com.

Love the show? Please donate to keep us growing or leave a happy review on iTunes to keep us going. Thanks! You can find all the links to all my books at AllThatChazz.com.

Thanks for listening. Spread the word.

~ Chazz