I’ve been in isolation for weeks. To deal with a problem with a prescription, I had to go out yesterday. What a surreal trip. After writing extensively about what it was like to live in the middle of a pandemic, here I was, venturing out beyond the wall and into the Badlands, a voyage of three blocks.
I made a few paranoid purchases years ago. I had young kids and I worried for their safety. The main threat in my area is tornadoes. I stocked up on canned goods and got a portable toilet (really just the seat with a plastic bag under it). Gross, but that’s a luxury when you’ve lost everything and you’re waiting for an insurance adjuster to show up.
There were go-bags miscellaneous other items in my tickle trunk of disaster preparedness: a headlamp, batteries, glow sticks, tarps, waterproof matches, etc.,… I picked up most of my end-of-the-world gear from an Army Surplus store cheaply. Since I was also researching pandemics for a book (This Plague of Days) I got masks, too.
Because I used to own a clinic, I had latex gloves, Lysol wipes and masks, anyway. My special purchase was an N99 mask. Most medical masks you see are N95s. N99 is a step up from the norm (and one step down from a HAZMAT or SCUBA gear). With my medical history, I finally had to break out the N99 for the trip to the store. I am very glad to have it.
First movie moment: concrete blocks. The mall is closed and only the pharmacy is open. Concrete blocks were placed in front of the pharmacy’s windows at tight intervals so a vehicle couldn’t ram the place and loot it at night. Clever. Hadn’t thought of that wrinkle myself. Perhaps they did it because it did happen to the next nearest pharmacy a few years ago. That time, the window crash sale was to rob a bank machine. This time, it’s to stop anyone from getting any clever ideas about draining all the stock at midnight.
I found it a bit unnerving seeing the number of people who wore no protection. Especially strange to me was seeing the pharmacy staff with no masks. However, I get it. Maybe they don’t have the same health concerns I do as long as they keep two meters away. Hard to do in narrow store aisles, but any medico will tell you, wearing a mask all day is a pain in the ass. My sister-in-law served as a hospital pharmacist during Toronto’s horrific SARS outbreak. She drank more coffee then than ever because it was a break from the heat and claustrophobia of wearing a mask for hours on end. I had to go to the ER as a patient during SARS and everyone was great. Then I spotted four nurses in a huddle pulling down their masks for a quick consult. [Insert heavy sigh here.]
A staffer in a safety vest greeted me at the door to the pharmacy. She didn’t seem to have much to do but kept an eye on me. Perhaps the mask threw her. She couldn’t see my winning smile. When I spoke to the pharmacist, she asked me how I was. “Peachy!” I said. “How could things be any better!” I got a laugh.
With the nosepiece in place, the N99 is tight and hot. It makes it a little harder to breathe and I began to sweat. I got through my purchases as quickly as I could. dodging those confident bastards who wore no masks. They were a danger to me and to each other in the narrow aisles but we’re Canadian. Except for the young staffer stocking shelves, everybody kept their distance quite well.
Second movie moment: I felt like I was in the movie Contagion. As I buzzed down the aisles, a calm recorded voice reminded everyone about social distancing to keep everyone safe. Several signs were posted warning that we couldn’t buy cigarettes and the lottery was canceled. Oh, also, guy in the N99 mask with the cart? Don’t buy more than you need. I didn’t.
Third movie moment: I picked up a bottle of Dawn dish detergent. As I placed it in the cart, my glove broke open. I’ve got big hands. The latex was stretched tight and I cut it on the side of the bottle cap. I froze for a moment. I don’t have that many gloves so I didn’t double up as if I was going down into the bio-weapons vault in AFTER Life. Still, I had to chuckle. Was this a scene from Outbreak?
Yes, I know. Ultimately, hand-washing is more important than masks. It’s just that over the course of isolation, my OCD tendencies have intensified. I wash my hands constantly and use paper towels and Lysol wipes to avoid cross-contamination. Upon my return from the Badlands, I discovered I’d got She Who Must Be Obeyed conditioner instead of shampoo. Shit! While SWMBO used Lysol wipes on my purchases on the front step, I headed straight to the shower.
Before I left, I’d laid out fresh clothes in the bathroom. A towel and a plastic bag for the clothing I wore on my trip was also ready. After a thorough scrubbing, getting everything in order feels like trying to get out of an escape room. Have I wiped down everything I’ve touched? Did I accidentally touch my jacket again when I picked up the bag with the outside clothes? Wash the hands again. I got a box of pop. When I picked it up by its little handle, did I accidentally touch a can I’d soon be drinking from? Wipe the can, wash the can, wash my hands again, double-check and do it again. You see the hygiene ouroboros into which I twisted myself?
Not everyone understands that I’m especially vulnerable to COVID-19. Yes, I know I look ridiculous driving back from the store alone with my mask on. My next-door neighbor seemed to find my paranoia amusing. However, my gloves were soiled and I couldn’t get out of the tight N99 without touching it. It is reusable, so I left it on until I could wash my hands first.
I’m back in the blanket bunker now. It’s where I belong for the next twelve to eighteen months, depending on when Vaccination Day arrives. Let’s all hope it comes sooner than later.
My daughter works in a bank and deals mostly with an older population. Many express annoyance at her bank’s new safety precautions and even tell her the COVID-19 pandemic is a hoax! Still! It got me thinking about what is and what’s to come. I hope these bold predictions are wrong, but here are my thoughts.
Warning: No guarantees on any predictions, no refunds for butthurt.
The Conflict
Hope: Everything works out better than epidemiologists expect and we’ll recover quickly. Prediction #1: Before this is over, everyone will know someone who perished because of COVID-19. Prediction #2: When the pandemic recedes, God will get the glory, not the scientists who come up with the vaccine. Though a few outliers will still roll the dice on herd immunity, most anti-vaxxers will go curiously silent for a while as they line up for the shot.
Corruption
Observation: People with a lot of money, power, and influence got a heads-up about how bad this would be and dumped their stocks for profit while they told us everything was peachy. Prediction#1: They will never be punished. Prediction #2: Those in power will tell us to forget it and stop living in the past. Many people with no power will shrug it off and let it go because (a) they’re worshipful of successful sociopaths, (b) hope to become successful sociopaths, or (c) are too busy trying to put food on the table to concern themselves with what feels too far beyond their control.
We’ve been gaslit.
Hope: This crisis will challenge us to reform our healthcare systems so universal healthcare is accepted everywhere. We’ve been fighting the wrong wars. Illnesses of all kinds are definitely coming for you. Terrorists? Far less so. Prediction: Since some countries with universal healthcare suffered badly during the pandemic for reasons unrelated to offering universal healthcare, the United States will continue without Medicare for all. Parallel: “We can’t have evil socialism because of Venezuela.” It would make more sense to say, “We can expand our mixed economy to include altruistic socialist values because no one loses their home to medical debt in all other First World nations. We don’t have pure capitalism but even if we did, that model alone doesn’t succeed at everything it’s supposed to do.”
Where the Money Goes
Hope: Cruise ships are recognized for the Petri dishes they are and would-be passengers will fear they’ll be trapped on them. These gigantic ships will become symbols of a bygone era, like airships. Prediction #1: Attempts will be made to save the cruise ship industry and millions of dollars that could have been funneled to better causes will go to companies that don’t even pay taxes in the U.S. Prediction #2: Sure, they’re fun, but the cruise ship industry will still fail because so few people will be able to afford that fun vacation during the Depression.
The Economy
Prediction 1: Oh, did I not mention a Depression? The very rich will stay rich and get richer by buying up depleted assets at a low price. The middle class will shrink even further. Prediction #2: If Trump loses, it will take a generation to go back to systemic norms. Prediction #3: If Trump wins, it will take two generations for the United States to recover, if they do. Prediction #4: As the pendulum swings back and the revolution comes, Bernie will be long gone. AOC will lead the new charge. Half of America will still push back, at least until they receive universal health care. Eventually, privately and among close friends, even those opposed will admit universal care costs less, has better outcomes for more people and no one need suffer medical bankruptcy. They’ll be glad they don’t have to fight with an insurance company and pay exorbitant premiums and copays to receive the care they need. (No worries, though. They can still hate the people who fought for them for other reasons.)
The 2020 Election
Curse: Donald Trump will take reelection (not win reelection) through a combination of gerrymandering, Russian assistance, voter suppression, suppression of voter turnout via fear of the pandemic, COVID-19 suppression of the Democratic Party’s campaign, media failures and Joe Biden’s inability to reach and win over voters from the Trump cult. Prediction: Everyone but those responsible will be blamed and shamed. We’ll be saying, “If we had all just had mail-in ballots and if we had used them…”
Our Screens
Prediction #1: Vido game industry? Wheeeeeeeee! Prediction #2: Hollywood? Shit.
Learned Helplessness
Prediction #1: Too many will break isolation too soon. Instead of shutting everything down for a whole year plus, there will be rolling lockdowns. Prediction #2: Despair goes up. Suicides go up. No one without power ever trusts the system again. Prediction #3: After 2016, many people were inspired to become politically active. With the next election failure, that hope for change will be squashed. Many will give up and retreat from that battlefield to focus on family, community, and distractions. The motto of learned helplessness is “They’re gonna do what they’re gonna do.”
The Business Spiral
Prediction #1: Though many will be sacrificed in the name of bringing back the economy, the stock market will not bounce back because the economy is still working on the same premise. The stock market is largely irrelevant to most working people. People may go back to work but they’ll spend less, travel less, go out less. We will withdraw monetarily and socially. Prediction #2: Many movie theaters, comedy clubs, and arenas will not survive 2020. Enough people will stay away for fear of contagion that business models that rely on public gatherings will fail. Streaming services will survive but will produce less content. We’ll continue to see the world through the lens of our phones: disappointment, anger, and sadness. Trust on the macro and micro scale will plummet as many follow the leader on the swing toward an “every person for themselves” mentality.
The Cull and the Exodus
Prediction #1: Far more people will die because of COVID-19 than might have, had the world been better prepared. Prioritizing military and geopolitical objectives over science, we’ve been fighting the wrong war. Prediction #2: Many people will die because they will avoid hospitals and doctors’ offices for the next year or more. Prediction #3: Feeling abandoned, suffering PTSD, and angry, some doctors and nurses will leave the profession. Prediction #4: Fewer people will opt to enter the health profession. We will all suffer for it.
The Cultural Shift
Prediction #1: In the United States, the economy will be prioritized over lives in the name of long-term thinking and pragmatism. It’s actually cruel short-term thinking. All those dead grandparents still won’t save the economy. Prediction #2: I hope you like your house and where you live because you won’t be able to sell it for a very long time. I sincerely hope you don’t lose it. Homeownership will slide further out of reach of younger generations. We will become nations of renters to fewer and fewer landlords. Prediction #3: A new era of urban hippie will be born where people plant gardens to ensure they’ll have food when they need it. This movement will not convey the excitement of the doomer and prepper fringe because, having survived the pandemic, everyone will appreciate how grim the apocalypse is. This new group will focus on pragmatism and food security rather than more guns and escapist glee. Prediction #4: A smaller group will embrace back-to-the-land isolation where they leave the cities and attempt to form communes. Most of the communes will fail as they’ve failed before. Some individuals who would otherwise become urban accountants will end up in remote locations in cedar A-frames chopping their own wood. Prediction #5: Continuing to “shelter at home” will have an impact on jobs and daily routines. With trust in the healthcare falling and comorbidities adding to the death tally from COVID-19, expect a renewed focus on clean eating and fitness. It won’t be for vanity but for longevity and the ability to carry heavy things. We’ll be too afraid to return to the gym at first. Then we won’t be able to afford a gym. We’ll work out more where we live, clean more and strive to be less susceptible to disease. We will own fewer things and have less to dust, take up less square footage and drive less. Prediction #6: Handshakes are dead. Physical distancing will continue as social ties get closer through electronic media. When kids are asked what they want to be when they grow up, part of their calculation will be the goal of working safely from home instead of working with the public.
Moods by Generation
Prediction #1: Got young kids? If you can buy stock in hand sanitizer, that’s a good bet for now and for the rest of our lives. We’re growing a generation of germaphobes. Prediction #2: Older people aren’t the only ones who will die or suffer lasting effects of this pandemic. The elderly will be more financially insecure, food insecure and lonely.
The Next Pandemic Emergency
Prediction #1: Everyone will say that COVID-19 will change everything, but historically our collective memory is short. By the end of 2021, once all the COVID memorials are done, we’ll be told this pandemic was a blip. We will forget these harsh lessons about our fragile supply chains. Prediction #2: Eagerness will trump caution. The desire to rush everything back to normal too quickly will prolong the crisis. Despite terrible outcomes, we will not be prepared for the next pandemic. Prediction #3: “Back to normal” will continue to keep more of us in the category of what sociologists call “at risk.”
The Legacy of DJT
Prediction #1: Donald J. Trump has ruined the use of the word trump. It brings up the image of the noun, not the verb. Prediction #2: Donald J. Trump has devalued the esteem for the office of POTUS. That’s not all bad. The office of President has received too much reverence, anyway. In Canada, we say, “the prime minister.” In America, many citizens say, “my president.” See how that subtly shifts the tone? Canadians are generally less attached to the goobers in office, possibly because our election cycles are done in a month instead of dragging on for years, grinding into our collective psyche.
Your Reaction
Prediction #1: Somebody will hate me for indulging in the “Orange Man bad” narrative. If that’s you, I won’t hate you back, but I will ask you to check back in four years and tell me how you feel then, assuming either of us survive, of course. Prediction #2: Optimists will also be annoyed with this post. Maybe that will make cynics feel good. I take no joy in any of this. I want the economy to bounce back and for everybody to be well and happy. Observation: Things won’t improve for average working people until we all prioritize making things better for them. Although anyone reading this post is closer to becoming homeless than they are to becoming wealthy, many lack the political will to face these challenges head-on.
Suggestions and Solutions?
Hey, man. I see what I see but to change it? I don’t know. Can empathy be taught? I just write science fiction. How much do I know for sure? Not much. I’m an educated fool with few practical skills. All I can say is:
1. Elections have consequences. Choose carefully. Overcome my dire predictions to remain engaged.
2. Believe science. Encourage improved education and steer more young people toward the sciences, logic, and healthy skepticism.
3. Cynicism only sounds smart. Misanthropy is often funny. However, these are not effective survival strategies. Humans are social animals and we need each other (socially, economically, every damn way.) We wouldn’t have climbed down from the trees and evolved without collective action for the common good. The winner-takes-all attitude creates to many losers and is unsustainable. Try kindness.
4. Many have forgotten our lessons from kindergarten. We are here to help each other, to learn, to have fun, to live.
Last night I spotted a terrifying tweet from an ER doctor in New York. His hospital was slammed with patients. They intubated five patients on his shift. Four lived. Some nurses retreated to closets to weep. This is life and death on the front lines and this is only the beginning. There are not enough masks to protect health care workers. Exhausted and feeling hopeless, the doctor’s take on the chaos and the lack of viable treatment options: “You’re all on your own.”
If you can stay home, please do so. Isolating saves lives.
A. Gilligan’s Island. B. In orbit on the ISS. C. It’s the plot of the Martian and you’re Matt Damon.
Mars would be optimal but for the loneliness. The International Space Station has a lovely view. If you live with a Gilligan who’s always screwing everything up for everybody, you’re going to have to tie up your little buddy and spray him with Lysol three times a day.
Okay, cool. We’re stuck. How do you plan to use this time and stay sane?
For many of us, it’s been about a week or so in isolation.
I write books for a living. My struggle kicked in before the coronavirus arrived on our shores. For the last three months, I’ve been having a hard time getting into my job. I love writing once I start, but, ooh, it can be hard to start. As Stephen King says, “The scariest part is right before you start.”
I have a book about two-thirds written and several other projects that need attention. After publishing Citizen Second Class on Christmas Day, I fell into a kaleidoscope of distractions, working on marketing plans, developing book plots and proposals, goofing off a little, and entertaining a killer funk. Funks are not fun. I need to focus. Maybe you feel it, too? Are the walls closing in? Let’s figure this shit out.
We’re in isolation and creeping dread has set in. What’s next?
After this experience, I hope we all develop more compassion for prisoners, especially those in solitary. If you live alone, you can be quite safe from the coronavirus. However, isolation takes its own toll.
When you go to prison, you can go one of two ways: work out with heavy weights and get huge or sleep sixteen hours a day. As a chronic insomniac, I’ve found it quite easy to sleep lately. I especially enjoy those delicious afternoon naps. Nothing wrong with napping unless it’s a sign of depression stealing into your life. If it’s a retreat you need, I advocate for it. If you’re sleeping so much that it’s messing with your plans and relationships, you might want to reevaluate. I know I am.
Rob’s plan to shake off the funk:
Stay informed, not overwhelmed. Information is good. Tragedy tourism through the internet is harmful.
Structure. What’s the plan for the day? Set alarms. Do the Thing!
I try not to waste time obsessing about the things I can’t control.
My favorite playlist is called Deadly. It’s my “Get up and go beat ’em up workout music.” Better that than yet another podcast that beats me over the head with the same information over and over.
Move more. I don’t want to go near my doctor’s office for the next year if I can help it. Exercise is my new medical appointment and it has to happen daily.
Stop with the stress eating. More veggies, water, and less processed crap.
Stay connected with the social circle. Humans are social animals. Yes, even most introverts need some human interaction. Talking to yourself and to pets is okay but a little more feedback than an echo off the bare walls is nice.
Dance. Sing. Swear.
Acknowledge that striving for excellence doesn’t require perfection. Perfectionism is a form of self-loathing. We don’t have to teach our kids quantity surveying and particle physics just because they’re out of school.
We’re at a huge historical milestone. We will all remember this time. Maintain morale whenever possible. Make jokes. Share fun memes of dogs doing fun dog stuff.
Patience.
Kindness.
Distractions can helpful when they don’t fill the entire day. Sure, watch Netflix but don’t scroll through it aimlessly for hours.
Work on your hobbies, play some games.
Read those books you’ve been meaning to read. (If you’re reading mine and you like them, please review them. Thanks!)
Got clutter? You know what to do. Sure, it’s not necessarily fun but, like exercise, you’ll feel better and lighter afterward. Bonus: You’ll find that thing you thought you lost!
Reach out electronically. Call somebody you haven’t spoken to in a long time. Tell Dad you’re the one who put a dent in his car that time. It’s not like he can come over and take a swing at you. (Or tell him you love him. That’ll freak him out.)
You’re already washing your hands obsessively. Good! Don’t skip showering the rest of you each day, too.
Wash your clothes. You can’t get a haircut, but keep up appearances.
Helping others will help you.
Acknowledge that it’s okay to feel bad, to stress, to get mad. I will try to stick to these plans, but I will not beat myself up when I fail to hit a home run for every at-bat. Find the balance.
Watch out for binge drinking, binge eating, binge drugging etc. Get those harmful lures out of your home and get help if you need it.
I didn’t realize how much I depended on the routine of writing in a coffee shop until the coffee shop was no longer an option. My appointment with my laptop is every morning at 10 a.m.
Not all suggestions are for everyone all the time. Do what you can with what you have. Stay as safe as you can.
Check in with anyone you suspect may be at risk of self-harm or harm by others.
We are all doing hard time. If you need help, there are still resources available to you. If that’s you, please try to be brave for just one more minute and call a friend or an agency that will offer assistance. Contemplating self-harm? Google “International Suicide Hotline.” Suffering domestic violence? Get help here: https://www.domesticshelters.org/. Whatever your mental health issue, make the call. There is an organization filled with good people eager to support you. You are needed. Hold on!
If you are an essential worker who doesn’t have the option of isolating at home, you get to swear more than the rest of us. Godspeed and feel our love for you because you are a goddamn hero. We all salute and thank you. When we get through this, it will be a big party and you’ll be the guest of honor. Hold on!
Whoever and wherever you are, hold on.
(Got a suggestion of your own? Please, add them in the comments.)
