Tag: suspense

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The Grinding Gears Edition

I refuse one billion dollars from Yoda! General chaos, rabid dogs and the sequester grind my gears as I do battle with Stitcher. I announce my new podcast, Cool People Podcast and give you a sneak peek (or should that be a sneak “hear”? That sounds weird. Go to CoolPeoplePodcast.com to hear the first episode with horror author and zombie-loving Armand Rosamilia.) Also on the show, a medical update of terror, special thank yous and (two, count ’em, TWO!) new chapters from the crime novel of comedy, sex and violence, Higher Than Jesus. If you’re offended by the last line of the chapter “Rope”, get your Lutheran grandma to listen to it. Lutheran Grandma’s okay with vulgar jokes, right?

Shout out to new newsletter subscriber: Karen Banes of ChangetheWorldwithWords.com.

Much love to Dave Jackson from SchoolofPodcasting.com and our sponsor, Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com.

Chapter 8 of Higher Than Jesus, “Rope” begins like this:

After locking the door, you find Samuel Clemont making a fish patty for himself in the kitchen. The counters and stoves are built shorter so he can reach everything. You feel taller. Then your shoulders sag when you consider that Willow sees you the way you see this Oompa Loompa kitchen. 

Clemont scrapes the burnt fish patty off the grill with a blackened spatula and dumps it on a stiff bun beside a pile of french fries on a chipped plate. “Shoulda set up shop in New Orleans. You burn your food in the Big Easy, you just call it Cajun and nobody complains. Just add hot sauce.” He bites into his sandwich and grimaces. “I grew up in Maine, so I hate fish. Ate too much of it when I was a kid. Sick of it. Still, this halibut is about to turn. Might as well eat the profits. Still better than most food I ever had as a grunt.” 

“Is the Marines where you learned to cook?”

His laugh has a cutting edge. “Hell, no!” He drops the fish sandwich back on the plate. “Though, that would explain a lot.” 

While Clemont focuses on the fries, you look around. The M4 Carbine is propped against the wall in a corner beside a table with a box of rounds. Clemont snaps his ketchup-stained fingers and waves you over to a stool by the counter.  “I talked to Paulie again. He said you’d come.”

“It sounds like you’ve got much bigger problems than Willow’s drug dealer.”

“I thought Gillie could take care of these guys. Apparently, I was misinformed, so I guess people can change. Should have seen what he did back in the day. Gillie’s still bad ass, but inflexible about what else I need done. Since you’ve already shot Willow’s supplier, I guess you’re up. You pass the test. You can help me with the Lone Wolf and his sidekick.”

“Maybe Gillie’s got the right idea — ” … Hear the rest of the chapter or grab the all the books from the links at AllThatChazz.com.

Thanks for listening! If you like the show, please leave a happy review on iTunes.

Cheers!

~ Chazz

 

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#Podcast: Night & the City Edition

Pope Benedict retirement plans, struggling with Angst and the beginning of a romance in a reading of “Night & the City”, the fifth chapter from Higher Than Jesus, the hardboiled thriller from Robert Chazz Chute.

This podcast is sponsored by Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com.

Music today is Hitman by Kevin McLeod of Incompetech.com.

Thanks for listening to the podcast! If you like it, please leave a review at iTunes so more people can find my strange brand of whimsy.

Cheers, mates!

~ Chazz

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The What’s Uncool Edition

Blame the media over two outrages you probably won’t believe. Annoying grammar police shoot three and The Undercover Man, Chapter 4 of Higher Than Jesus pours you some hot coffee.

My mistake: The link to the Moment of Clarity podcast is actually leecamp.net (not the link I gave in the podcast. Here’s the link to Lee Camp’s video with more about the true perpetrators of the assassination of MLK. To donate a tweet to Lee Camp, go here.

Check out our sponsor, Kit Foster at KitFosterDesigncom. Excellent graphic artist!

Check out the Fitbit by clicking the affiliate link in the right sidebar. Click donate to help with bandwidth and best of all, buy the books by Robert Chazz Chute from the “Shop” menu.

Thank you and thanks for listening!

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Podcast: Furious!

Definitely NSFW: Furious with the phone company and myself, I lose it. Also, Atheists vs Christians and the third chapter of Higher Than Jesus hits the fan.

Please check out our sponsor, Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com for your graphics needs.

Thanks for listening to the All That Chazz podcast. If you like it, please leave a happy review on iTunes.

Cheers!

~ Chazz

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The Ticking Clock Edition

Love for Michelle’s bangs, a review that’s the good kind of bad, an invitation to you to join the podcast and a reading of the second chapter of Higher Than Jesus, “The Ticking Clock”. The title makes sense now, doesn’t it?

Thanks to our sponsor, Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com, and to Kevin MacLeod of Incompetech.com for the music “Pop Goes the Weasel”. 

If you’re interested in being interviewed on the podcast, use Speakpipe (on the sidebar to the right) to leave a message with your contact information. You’ll need a USB microphone (not a built-in mic) on your end and for the show you have to be on Skype. Or email me at expartepress@gmail.com.

Thanks for listening!

PS Blooper at the end. It’s sad.

 

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Writing the novel: Overcoming plot problems & cranking up the pace

IDENTIFYING THE PROBLEM…

I’ve been stymied. I hate that. I’ve been working on the new novel in the Hit Man Series, Hollywood Jesus. Several chapters went well, but there was something missing and I just figured out why it wasn’t firing on all cylinders. I was holding back. I wasn’t being reckless enough.

MY SOLUTION…

What makes Bigger Than Jesus such a great read is that it has the pace of a long chase scene with lots of twists and cliffhangers and no chance for anyone to catch their breath. I wrote Bigger Than in a certain way that was braver and less calculated than what I have been doing. As I wrote Bigger Than, each night I finished a chapter I often had no real idea how I’d get Jesus Diaz out of the corner I’d written him into. The next morning the answer came. (Sometimes it didn’t and I had to think longer, but when you ask the right question, the answer always appears.)

CUTTING & REWRITING…

The first stab at Hollywood Jesus wasn’t all bad. The chase scene with the cops and the scary way Jesus gets out of it? I’m keeping that. The meeting in the office? I’ll lose that. It’s too static and talky. I’m also keeping the big ending I’d planned, but the plots and plans and surprises go deeper and I’ll introduce new motivations. 

The first two books started out with a murder. This time? It’s different, but no less scary and creepy. The key to making the character work for the reader is that he was terribly abused as a child and my funny hit man identifies with innocent victims. Jesus has a code and he always tries to make sure no civilians are hurt on his missions. Now that I see how this plot is going to unfold, it’s a much bigger, more sweeping story that has roots all the way back to the heart of book one of the series.

Jesus Diaz was in deep trouble with my first attempt at this book. I understand now how I can shove him down so deep, Hollywood Jesus will have a deeper emotional impact as well as more action with a pace that matches Bigger Than Jesus. Maybe even faster.

THE BIG PICTURE…

Bigger Than Jesus

New York; Opens with fast, perilous action; it’s a quest for money, love and escape with the alluring Lily Vasquez. 

Theme: A man stands up to the Machine. He is not a cog.

Higher Than Jesus

Chicago; Opens with increasing tension, battling drug addiction while fighting  two opposing forces over an arms deal and trying to save the body and soul of the sexy glamazon, Willow Clemont.

Theme: To become who you are meant to be, you have to conquer your failings.

Hollywood Jesus

L.A.; Opens with a rescue; opens old wounds in a war with multiple, powerful enemies, a slavery ring that hits Jesus very close to his heart and two beautiful women. Expect betrayal. Even so, you’ll be surprised from whence it strikes.

Theme: Sacrifice for the greater good…sucks.

I got my groove back, Stella! (That’s a dated book and movie reference, but it made somebody reading this smile briefly.)

~ Get all the books by Robert Chazz Chute here.

 

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Protect your home from thieves, ninjas and quirky assassins

I’m working on the next book in the Hit Man Series, Hollywood Jesus. Here’s a little excerpt from the first chapter. Read between the lines, and you’ll find some tips on protecting your home from burglars…or quirky assassins with mommy issues.

On TV, the hero slips a credit card into the edge of a door to pick a lock. That destroys the credit card — who needs that hassle unless it isn’t your credit card? —  and isn’t nearly as easy as it looks except with cheap motel doors. The next option is to pull out a lock pick set and get to work, hoping a nosy neighbor doesn’t spot you while you struggle to overcome the lock. It’s not just picky work. It’s nit-picky and plenty of locks are different so you have to take the time to learn the lock. More hassle. If Dexter episodes went down in real time, it would be a much longer and more boring show.

You’ve used the hockey stick and bicycle chain trick to rip off doorknobs, but since you’d look suspicious walking around with that sort of bulge in your sports jacket, you’ve left that tool at home. That’s your only complaint about West Coast weather: The sun always shines in Hollywood, so no stylish trench coat for you.

If you were a brainless thug, the quickest way into Fitzwald’s house is simply to kick in the door, making sure your heel connects full force by the lock. That’s almost always effective. Even paranoid homeowners may spend $1,000 on a security door, but they spend the least they can on the installer so the frame is $25 worth of wood and the screws that hold it in place are usually way too short. One or two kicks gets you in quicker than fumbling with a key. That makes plenty of noise, though, and that choice could end badly with you tying up the nosy old man from next-door with electrical cord. One heart attack that’s another murder charge against you. Who needs it?

The key to a happy life is less stress, so you do the brainy thug thing: You look. The key isn’t under the mat or on top of the doorframe. It’s under the second flower pot you check. The homeowner would have had half a chance of keeping you out if he’d thought to at least stick the spare key in the pot’s dirt. That would have stymied you easily, but since no one wants dirty fingernails, you’re standing in Fitzwald’s house, easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy. 

As you step into the living room, a motion detector shines red and a shrill alarm goes off, jangling your nerves. However, alarms are even easier to deal with than people who leave their house keys in predictable places…

~ Robert Chazz Chute is a crime novelist and suspense writer who podcasts weekly, but never weakly (see below for the latest podcast.) To begin The Hit Man Series, Bigger Than Jesus is for sale at the low introductory price of just .99 cents because the first taste is cheap. Once you’re hooked as a thriller fan, the second in the series is Higher Than Jesus. Enjoy.