The next instalment of the Hit Man Series is in the works

I saw a preliminary draft of the cover to Higher Than Jesus today. Wow. It’s going to be great. My graphic designer, Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com, is a genius who read my mind on a couple of points about the cover. Playing art director is fun and Kit manages to cover up any trace of annoyance so maybe he really is that enthusiastic! He really is on a quest to make it perfect.

A couple of my notes from my email were:

The model is a “hooker hot” 7 and we need an “innocent-hot” 10, with peroxide blonde hair and bright red lipstick to catch the red in the title text. And is there such a thing as metallic red? I’m thinking of the kind of red that rich morons who buy really fast cars favor at midlife. Can we do that color?

There were many more demands about sexing up the cover. Oh, I’m terrible. Look for Higher Than Jesus in September. Get Bigger Than Jesus by clicking the cover below. The paperback is coming soon.

TO HEAR A SAMPLE CHAPTER, CLICK HERE!    

Please click it to grab the gripping, funny crime thriller by Robert Chazz Chute.

Is Bigger Than Jesus sacrilegious?

Please click it to grab the gripping, funny crime thriller by Robert Chazz Chute.

I have lots of cool announcements coming, but before I get to all that, I think it’s time I addressed some readers who are worried that my title, Bigger Than Jesus, is sacrilegious. I don’t think so. Here’s why:

1. Your “Gee-zuzz” is a Christian deity. The main character of my suspense novel is hispanic. His name is pronounced “Hay-soose.”

2. Jesus is a name and, not surprisingly, not that uncommon. Is the title designed to grab your attention? Sure. Will it tear apart the universe? Probably not.

3. The phrase “bigger than Jesus” paraphrases John Lennon’s remark about the popularity of a little band called The Beatles. I hope we’ve grown a little bit in tolerance since the late sixties and early seventies. Or does my mixed marriage offend you, too? (If so, go read the red letters in the Bible again. You’re doing it wrong.)

4. If you read the book, you’ll see that “bigger than jesus” actually emerges as a theme and a key to how the character views the world. (No spoilers here, but I can tell you that it’s not a cheap gimmick.)

5. Though the use of the phrase “bigger than Jesus” caused some transitory strife for The Beatles, I’m not worried the use of it as the title of my book will stop Paul and Ringo from getting together for a revivifying tour if they so choose.

6. I’m worried about the state of your faith. When you complain about my title, frankly, you sound weak. If your faith can be shaken by the title of a crime novel, you need to get yourself to church and do some soul-searching. No Christian soldier you.

7. Jesus Christ is not a weak concept. He’s is unthreatened, so why are you? Gee-zuzz is bigger than Hay-soose. Why worry about Gee-zuzz? Why not worry that you’re offending all those guys named Hay-soose by disenfranchising them from being named in fiction?

8. I didn’t name it “Bigger Than Jesus” to offend you. The main character does struggle with issues of faith because his prayers are so rarely answered. However, it’s not a Christian book. It’s also not an anti-religious rant. It’s a crime novel and very entertaining.

9. Some religious people do and say things that offend me. I don’t feel they owe me an explanation, though. I don’t go through life demanding that everyone change so we Nerf the world. That would be impractical at best and fascist at worst.

10. You can be pious, but that doesn’t mean you have to be humorless, irony-impaired and boring. Some  religious people count among my best friends and they’re strong, joyful people who are not easily threatened. They read my book and they laugh and enjoy themselves.

In response to the easily offended, and to paraphrase Dennis Miller back when he was amusing:

“My God thinks I’m #!@$!! funny!”

Or are you just jealous because, if there is a heaven and I go there, Christ and I will have something to talk about? I hope so. I’m lousy at small talk.

Why Bigger Than Jesus? What’s it really about?

Please click it to grab the gripping, funny crime thriller by Robert Chazz Chute.

As the entries to the Six Words of Less Contest rolled in, I was surprised how several tied in with religious themes. You can vote for your favorite entries by checking the comment thread and emailing your vote at:

 expartepress AT gmail DOT com.

Some people have asked me why I called my crime novel Bigger Than Jesus? I make allusions to things that are, in fact, bigger than my Cuban hit man, both in jokes and in serious themes. The crux of the title is that it’s catchy and memorable, yes, but it complements the main character’s narrative of strife. Jesus (pronounced “Hay-soose”) has a lot of problems that he becomes equal to only by sheer cleverness and luck. Jesus Diaz is much like us in that way.

The theme that you’ll read through all The Hit Man Series is one of escape. Jesus Diaz desperately wants to find love and lost his past. The past just keeps coming after him, and love can be an elusive thing.

It’s my anniversary tomorrow. I married She Who Must be Obeyed fifteen years ago, so we’re going to try to take the day off. The lovely Eden Baylee has supplied a guest blog at ChazzWrites.com wherein we learn what sort of men turn her on and she tells us a little (not enough!) about her erotic fiction (Spring Into Summer). She teases us, so we’ll have to just go buy the book.

A gripping novella of murder and betrayal bundled with suspenseful short stories that will keep you up tonight. These are the foundation stories of the coming Poeticule Bay Series.

The podcast of the next chapter of Bigger Than Jesus won’t be up until Friday since I’m sworn to just write tomorrow and goof off with my queen, otherwise. However, quench your thirst for suspense with The Dangerous Kind & Other Stories. I‘ve switched it to a mere $1.99! Whoo-hoo!

Buy Bigger Than Jesus here.

Bigger Than Jesus: RUN!

You’re going to have some laughs In Bigger Than Jesus, Chapter 4, as Jesus deals with the fallout of murdering Big Denny De Molina. Denny sure got his licks in, what with breaking Jesus’s nose. We also get a glimpse of our favorite hit man’s basic training in the army and meet the lovely Lily Vasquez.

Bigger Than Jesus is a gripping, fast-paced crime thriller by Robert Chazz Chute, podcasted chapter by chapter for free. The print version will be available soon, but in the meantime, or go to my Amazon page for more details and to grab your own Bigger Than Jesus ebook for only $2.99!

Have you entered the Six Words or Less Contest? You could win your name in the next thriller in The Hit Man Series: Higher Than Jesus. The grand prize winner gets the new book for free (ebook and digital) and will win promotion on my podcast for their book, business, podcast, charity, website or dog’s name! Get all the details and enter HERE.

I wrote about Aurora shooting casualty and aspiring stand up comedian Caleb Medley on my ChazzWrites.com blog. Go to SUPPORTCALEB.COM to donate and please spread the word, too! Thanks!

Thanks for listening!

 

Announcing: The Six Words or Less Contest

I’m holding a contest that could get your name in my new thriller.

The follow-up to my crime novel, Bigger Than Jesus is called Higher Than Jesus and it’s coming this fall. 

Here’s the challenge: My hit man passes a homeless person in the street and gives him some money. The homeless person wears a black hoodie. I want something catchy and memorable on that hoodie. I thought about making an inside joke and making it a Self-help for Stoners emblem (my first book). I considered using a meme that’s already out there but kind of hipster, like the inside joke from Portal: There is no cake.

But no, I’m calling on the readership! What’s the short, punchy, pithy, memorable phrase that should adorn that black hoodie on the homeless guy on a cold winter’s night in Chicago? It could be funny. It could be pointed and political. Let’s hear it!

Five prizes for the overall winner. Check out the details and leave your witty suggestions in this comment thread at ChazzWrites.com.

Please click it to grab the gripping, funny crime thriller by Robert Chazz Chute.

What do you get for your contribution?

(Yes, there is metaphorical cake!)

The winner gets lots of that cake! There are five prizes. Go to this link for all the details and post your entries in the comments at that link (so all the entries are in one thread.) Thanks and have fun!

Podcast: The Love & Nookie Edition

Love & Nookie, Chapter 3 of Bigger Than Jesus

Downloading this podcast on Wednesday July 18? Grab a free ebook, The Dangerous Kind & Other Stories here http://amzn.to/OCrwzs

The paperback is coming soon, but in the meantime, you can own your own ebook copy. Grab Bigger Than Jesus (and see all the books by Robert Chazz Chute) here!

Don’t have a Kindle? You don’t need one to enjoy these books.

Download a free Kindle reading app here.

Got a question? Email me at expartepress@gmail.com.

PODCAST: Bigger Than Jesus Chapter 1

Bigger Than Jesus by Robert Chazz Chute (my funny crime thriller) is earning five-star reviews. This summer, I’m reading it a chapter at a time. If you want the whole thing at once, that’s easy! It’s yours for $2.99 here. Couch change!

5 STAR REVIEWS! 

“Worthy of Elmore Leonard with a backstory that is shades of Thomas Harris!”

 “Punchy dialogue and plot twists that keep you moving from one calamity to the next with no time to catch your breath.”

“What a fun ride of a crime thriller!”

“Hot girl on the cover didn’t hurt.”

Bigger Than Jesus is the story of a hit man who wants to get out of The Machine,  New York’s Spanish mob. To escape with his girlfriend (the lovely Lily Vasquez) Jesus Diaz will have to steal a fortune in mafia money and cheat death at every step. He might even have to kill his best friend to get away, if his best friend doesn’t kill him first. It’s like a Coen brothers’ movie where the wide and easy road out of town is fraught with danger. Buy it now for only $2.99!

While you’re there, pick up Robert Chazz Chute’s latest collection of Poeticule Bay stories in The Dangerous Kind and Other Stories. Also, just $2.99.

Self-help for Stoners: More suspense mixed with life lessons. This is the War of Art on weed! Get it now for just $2.99!

Sex, Death & Mind Control (for fun & profit) is my favorite collection of suspense and strangeness for, you guessed it, only $2.99. 

As always, if you love them, please review them. It helps! Thanks so much.

~ Chazz