Last night I dreamt that I met an old enemy at a restaurant. He was with his family. I sat beside them but he refused to acknowledge me. I took him aside and said, “I forgive you.”
Wow, that sure pissed him off. “What? What did you say to me?”
I replied, “Have you ever danced with the Devil in the pale moonlight?”
His rage was very satisfying.
I woke up thinking about forgiveness.
Have I ever forgotten a single offense? No. That’s the burden of possessing an eidetic memory for every negative event. I don’t know how to rewire my brain to make my opponents feel more comfortable. I don’t want to forget so I guess forgiveness is out, too. I let myself off the hook of that common social obligation. (I call it learning.)
We often call for victims to forgive their enemies. Says so in the Bible, too. However, that frequently serves the oppressor more than the oppressed. Offenders try to take a shortcut to salvation. Offering neither apologies nor recompense, they expect absolution. They place the burden of “moving on” where it does not belong. A consequence-free existence increases the chances they will offend again.
I will never demand that anyone forgive transgressions in the name of becoming more healthy. That’s up to each individual to decide for themselves.
If this post offends you, forgive me.