The Pain and My New Commitments to You

In this post, I’m going to cover a couple of cool things you may want to be involved in. It’s about a new show, a new book and a new life for both of us.

What you might now know about me is, in addition to writing crime novels and dark fantasy, I’m a Registered Massage Therapist with over 20 years experience in injury rehabilitation and the treatment of disease conditions. (See?)

I work at being an RMT part-time to cobble together an income that finances my writing. At the moment, I’m working very little and things are looking pretty bad. It turns out, I have to work on myself to save myself from myself. I’m going to help you save yourself, too. Here’s what happened:

The Twist

A couple of weeks ago I was home alone. Naturally, since no one could see me, I cranked up some tunes and worked on getting some exercise. Writing is incredibly sedentary so I have to work out when I can. Two minutes later, I twisted my knee by dancing too hard.

Ow. How ridiculous. And OW!

So…shit. Now what? I suspect it’s a medial meniscus tear. Basically, that’s the cushion in the knee and my cushion isn’t working right. The pain has been so bad sometimes that I sweat. Sleep is elusive. When the pain gets intolerable, I use a cane.

Next on the menu: painkillers, ice, chiropractic, exercise, alignment techniques, manual therapy, bracing, cupping, heat and kinesiotape. Turmeric supplements (and lots of the natural spice) helps with joint inflammation. Analgesic creams aren’t touching the pain at all. I can normally squat the whole rack at the gym but I don’t dare do that right now. In fact, the stairs up to the weight room are intimidating and I have to be very careful.

I saw the doc today.

An X-ray and MRI is scheduled. It’s up to me to rehab my way out of trouble before a surgeon decides to get in there with flamethrowers, holy water and hot pokers. There’s ultrasound at my clinic and my friend the chiropractor is excellent, too. Arthroscopy isn’t as popular a solution as it once was, but I’m hoping the answer to my pain will be nothing more than rehabilitative exercise. Fortunately, I’m an expert in that.

Working my way out of pain is one of my part-time jobs now.

It doesn’t pay, but it’s going to feel great to be healthy again. In fact, I’m aiming for more than just going back to normal. I want to be super again. Doesn’t everybody want to feel super? My goals include weight loss (also great for knees and osteoarthritis) and a healthier, more active lifestyle. That can be hard for a writer who often sits still for hours at a time. However, I’ve got a plan for that and it’s already in action. No whining necessary!

I’ve still got writing projects going and collaborators and readers depending on me. My collaborators are patient, but I’m not.

A couple of part-time gigs are in the works to try to make ends meet. Standing at a massage table all day is too much pain at the moment, so I’m off that work for now. I’m dedicating a huge chunk of each day to try to fix my damn knee quickly. However, my plans are bigger than one knee. I’m thinking about your knees, too.

THE PROJECTS

Book sales have tapered off lately so I have to get the next book in the Ghosts & Demons Series revised, edited and beta read etc. and out there! I’m pretty close to finished with the book. Number two in the series is called The End of the World As I Know It and I’m really happy with it. It’s got jokes, action and swordplay galore. Very Buffy.

I am asking for help, but I also plan to give more help. (More on that below.)

If you can spot a typo at arm’s length or shoot an arrow through a plot hole at twenty paces, please join my Steel Falcon Beta Read Team. You’ll get a first look at what happens to Tamara Smythe in the demon apocalypse and laugh your ass off, too. If you want to join the Choir Invisible, just email me at expartepress [AT] gmail [DOT] com with the subject line: STEEL FALCON.

Please note: If you haven’t read The Haunting Lessons (the first book in the series) yet, that’s okay. Your help as a beta reader is appreciated immensely and you’ll get acknowledgement in the book, too.

Now, about that love and joy I’m going to spread around:

Very soon, I’ll launch a health program with daily updates for anyone who cares to follow. I’m hammering out details now, but this is about exercise, eating right and accountability. It’ll involve reports on my progress, exercise tips and tricks to get healthier. This is for me because I need to get on track, but it’s also for readers, viewers and a lot of people I don’t know. Everyone needs to eat and act healthy. I’ll lead by example and report the truth of my successes and failures. I’ll measure every mile of the journey. The reports will keep me on track and I hope they inspire you.

Soon you’ll see posts from me on Vine, Instagram and here, at AllThatChazz.com. Subscribe if’n you ain’t already!

If you’re on the Fitbit, go to Fitbit.com, find Chazz (me!) and be my friend there to kick things off.

This commitment will bleed over to the All That Chazz podcast, as well. This post is already too long, so I’ll talk about that in the next podcast.

How about it?

 Join the fight to live healthier every day. Join me. I’ll share my struggle and encourage you in yours. Soon, I’ll get my health, my job and life back. This isn’t the end. It’s the speed bump before a new beginning. I believe in beginning again. Do you?

~ Steel Falconers: email me at expartepress [AT] gmail [DOT] com.

The rest of you, get a good pair of sneakers out and get a fitbit. First goal: Get at least 10,000 steps every day. I’ll catch up to you soon, and I won’t be hobbling around on a cane!

2014 resolutions: How winning is done

Fresh year. Clean slate. New attitudes. New you. How about it?

I’ve been away a while. Had some health problems. Had some issues. However, I didn’t (couldn’t) wait until the New Year to start making major changes. It turns out, the key to change was deciding to.

When that failed, I decided to again. That choice isn’t made once each New Year’s Eve. It has to be made each morning, each hour and each minute.

Come with me if you want to live.

I believe (but I’m not a belieber)

NSFW podcast of peril: Deathmatch with a nurse, combat in the ER, condemning Bush and Cheney, swearing in church, and Higher Than Jesus! I’m full of shenanigans in this, the 75th episode of the All That Chazz podcast. Frowned upon by the Amish. However, this program is approved by 96.2% of cool people, people who actually enjoy being entertained and 12.6% of cats. (Sorry, grumpy cats. We’ll work harder.)

FYI: SCROLL DOWN FOR DETAILS ABOUT MY CONTEST ON VINE. You could win

Please click to grab the gripping, funny crime thriller by Robert Chazz Chute.
Please click to grab the gripping, funny crime thriller by Robert Chazz Chute.

an autographed copy of Bigger Than Jesus if you’re closest to the number of posts it takes for me to get to the end of “Another Day at the Office”, a short story from Self-help for Stoners.

Self Help for Stoners JPEGAt the top of the show: Vengeance is mine! HaHAhahahahahaha!

At 0:45 What I believe. (Mostly, sorta. This gets fun.)

At 3:49 Author versus bad nurse. She wins. I promise vengeance. (I get so mad and scared I create a new website DecisionToChange.com.) Get healthy with me at DecisionToChange.com.

10:28 Double Jeopardy, a reading from my crime novel Higher Than Jesus

At 22:24 An invitation to: AllThatChazz.com, Higher+than+Jesus+Front+1029ChazzWrites.com, ThisPlagueofDays.com, onlysixseconds.wordpress.com, CoolPeoplePodcast.com, and DecisionToChange.com.

Music today was “All This” by Kevin MacLeod of Incompetech.com. 

Podcast art by sponsor Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com.

Like the show? Please leave your compliments in an iTunes review. Or donate. Or buy a book. (See all the links to all the books at AllThatChazz.com, including the link to Higher Than Jesus if you can’t stand my reading of my funny crime novel.)

Jerks, Near-Death, Time Travel and Alternate Reality

This episode gets weird. From getting blessed by an angel to starting over, this is a monologue of strange experiences. I’m defeated by sunflower seeds, but I think I can figure out something about the universe in this journey from kissing a character from one of my books to finding peace for somebody who doesn’t deserve forgiveness. (I let him live! Isn’t that enough?)

There’s also The Big Decision: Get thin and healthy.
Formula: (Fat + protein) – (processed food, white food, non-food, bad carbs or sugar) + exercise.
How did I arrive at that decision? Sunlight and deciding I’m a thin person (all evidence to the contrary) and acting that way.

I’m continuing with the first author reading on Vine this week. It’s a funny short story from my book Self-help for Stoners. It’s about how to get away with murder and massive marijuana possession in Texas with a skunk and a smile.

Apologies: I won’t be reading the next instalment of Higher Than Jesus until the next episode of All That Chazz. (I’m not holding the book  hostage, but this episode went long and bandwidth fees are an issue. Um…I insist I’m not holding the crime novel hostage but if you want to help out with bandwidth fees, that would be great. Please click on the safe and secure yellow donate button at AllThatChazz.com or CoolPeoplePodcast.com.

To enter to win this crime novel in paperback, put your guess in the comments of this post. Closest wins.
Want to get in on the Vine contest and enter to win an autographed copy of Bigger Than Jesus? Check out the post directly below this one. 

Speaking of which, have you listened to the Cool People Podcast yet? Have a listen and if you like it, please leave a review on iTunes so more people can find us. (Same for the All That Chazz podcast, come to think of it + dang it!)

New websites: ThisPlagueofDays.com and onlysixseconds.wordpress.com. Check those out, too.

You guys can get me at expartepress AT gmail DOT com or @rchazzchute on Twitter. Say hello and share what you think of the podcast.

Podcast art: Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com.

Music for today’s podcast was Pop Goes the Weasel by Kevin MacLeod of Incompetech.com.

Thanks for listening! 

~Chazz

The No Excuses Edition


 

Expect weight loss & badass declarations of intent. Join me because I’m revolting. Go to AllThatChazz.com for the health links referenced in the podcast.

Our ever-lovin’ sponsor is Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com. Need a book cover or a web banner or a piano moved? Go to his website. (Did I just type piano? I meant “soul”.)

If you purchase something on Amazon through the Amazon links to the right, I get a little kickback the costs you nothing. Just sayin’, dude. You can get my books or Eat to Live by Dr. Joel Fuhrman, for instance. I also mention the Fitbit from Fitbit.com (an awesome device to help you with your weight loss goals) and Fat Sick and Nearly Dead. Great movie with lots to consider. I also recommend the podcast, The Fat-burning Man and Logical Weight Loss, a podcast by my buddy Dave Jackson and The Bulletproof Executive.

Music on this podcast was:
Run by Double-Helix from sample swap.org, and
Mechanolith, Mistake the Getaway and Pop Goes the Weasel by Kevin MacLeod of incompetech.com

Clips today included Rocky’s speech from Rocky V, Yoda (x2) and Dennis Hopper from Speed.

If you like the podcast, please support the show with your purchases of my badass books about Bad versus Evil, leave a happy review on iTunes or Amazon or hit the tip jar to help out with bandwidth. Cheers, mate! All donations, happiness and voicemails sent my way make you a better person (and me at least 34% less wretched.)

Thanks for listening!

I am not puddin’. I am a jungle cat.

McDonalds used to have crap coffee. It tasted so bad, I thought it was a mistake. Then I tried it again and it tasted just as bad. Then they wanted to compete with Tim Hortons and Starbucks and improved. On my next try, I thought the McDonalds’ coffee wasn’t bad (and it was all I’d consume there.) However, after drinking it, I’d always feel awful and sleepy soon after. I found out why: It’s the mold we’re drinking in cheap coffee.

As a writer, I’m incredibly sedentary. I’m drinking, and chewing, kale shakes with some positive results to combat becoming puddin’. When I eat cookies, cakes and carbs, I feel lethargic. Knock back a kale shake and I feel energetic and focussed. But I missed the coffee. I drink almond milk as coffee, but was overloading on aspartame.

Next addition to the arsenal? Coffee, but not your dad’s coffee. Strong coffee filled with slimming MCT oil, coconut oil and unsalted creamy butter loaded with the kind of fats that are healthy for your brain and make you feel full.

I’m working on brain and body hacks using Bulletproof Exec. I can’t afford shipping in coffee, but I do have access to fire roasted coffee that seems fine. (It’s the mold and mycotoxins often found on coffee beans that make you feel like crap and when I drink the fire roasted stuff, I feel fine. I experimented with the butter (ghee) and MCT oil and coconut oil today. WIth a little bit of Xylitol (or stevia) it’s okay. It doesn’t taste as great as a latte loaded with sugar and cream, but the options I’m working with now might save my life, so there’s that.

Scoop.it

Sit and DIE!

I just joined a Facebook group for writers encouraging each other to get daily exercise and be healthier. It’s been on my mind a lot, especially after all the studies about how people who sit for several hours a day are at greater risk of getting killed by ninjas. Okay, I didn’t read those studies too carefully, but the upshot was, sit and DIE!

We write from the heart for hours on end. It’s bad for our hearts. We have to eat healthier than the average bear (more blueberries and salmon, less garbage in our pic-a-nic baskets.) I have a treadmill desk and I try to alternate that with the chair, though there are a lot of things I do that make the treadmill desk less conducive to my best work. Walking while working is fine for surfing, not so good for composition.

Today I ate a kale shake (à la Joe Rogan’s recipe), ate egg whites and a few blueberries and opted for almond milk instead of coffee. Tonight, more exercise. It’s all part of the deal when you write for a living. You have to exercise more to live, and perhaps become immortal beyond the page.