More Fury: The Hollow Man Edition

It’s episode #73 and Bradley Manning finally gets to talk. Not to me but to the world, and that’s a good thing (finally!) Chazz is down, furious and off the deep end. This podcast includes recommendations for better podcasts, self-loathing, and whining about taxes. Chazz also gets to read a couple of his favorite chapters from Higher Than Jesus. (Also, Jesus unofficially forgives him.) Chazz also makes time to rail against haters and discovers he’s too sensitive to understand how sensitive he is.

Check out the links to books by Robert Chazz Chute under “Shop” at AllThatChazz.com. Books include:

Bigger Than Jesus

Higher Than Jesus

Self-help for Stoners

Six Seconds, How to Build Your Business with the Vine App

Crack the Indie Author Code

Write Your Books: Aspire to Inspire

Sex, Death & Mind Control 

Murders Among Dead Trees

If you like the books, please leave a happy review wherever you buy books.

Music today is Mistake the Getaway by Kevin MacLeod of Incompetech.com.

Web banners, podcast art and book covers by our sponsor, Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com.

Recommended podcasts: The Joe Rogan Experience, FAIR, Democracy Now, Best of the Left, The Young Turks, The David Feldman Show, The Jimmy Dore Show and Peter B. Collin News & Comment.

Better people than Chazz: Scott SIgler

Thanks for listening! If you like the podcast, please leave a happy review. If you can’t stand me but you like cool people, check out the Cool People Podcast at CoolPeoplePodcast.com.

Throttling You: And some of this isn’t very nice

Find Part 1 of this post, Amazon Throttled, on ChazzWrites.com.

Skip to Part 3: Me, Full Throttle for another answer for finding readers.

Time to wrestle and tell the dirty truth.

What else can you do to find readers for your books and give them the best chance in the Marketplace of Awesomeness? And what sucks? Here’s my take:

1. Are blog tours really doing it for you? Are blog readers converting to book readers? They should…but I don’t think they do nearly as much as we hope. If they did, I’d have certainly sold more books by now. Blog tours can work, but it takes a lot of work to provide unique content to each blog. Do that if you’re going to tour and hit the largest blogs first. (Also, once it’s posted to one blog, don’t repost it on your blog. Bad SEO.)

2. We complain readers focus too much on Free and reap the benefits without commitment. Oddly, we’re hoping to win over the world without paying a dime. We don’t have advertising budgets. It’s time to get real and set a budget and pay for help selling your books. Yes, we all want it to happen organically without extra work or money. We all just want to write. That’s not the way to bet. Grow up, stop wishing and spend money to make money.

3. Don’t do another author interview on yet another small blog unless you’re going to make it different and/or funny. Go for funny because those interviews all sound the same and yes, I know, we all drink coffee. I win for most caffeinated. What else you got? I’d rather hear about your choice of lingerie than endure another answer to the question: “How did you start writing and where do you get your ideas?”

4. Don’t do another blog post about how “content is king.” It’s either self-evident or it doesn’t really mean anything. I need more meat than that to click the buy button on your next marketing book. 

5. Don’t ask me to read another interview with one of your characters. I might be interested in that, but only after I’ve already read your book, not before. I’d love to know what happens to the main character in Fight Club after the book hits “The End”. However, before I knew what that book was, he’s just be another guy struggling with macho bullshit issues and a sleep disorder.

6. Will you please just take my advice and get Kit Foster to help you with your book cover? Get a graphic designer to help you. Do not do this yourself. Don’t even do it yourself if you’re a graphic designer. Please! Sweet baby Jesus, I’m begging you! Help me help Kit help you! Great book covers do not suck. Bad book covers hurt you. We all judge books by their covers.

7. Revamp your website. Get a custom banner. (Kit does those, too. Look at the top of this page.) Also: White field, black type, no exceptions. Your pretty pastels and all those flowery serifs are repelling me from your site and making me squint so, perhaps unfairly, your book doesn’t get a shot.

8. Be bolder with your next book. Come up with a new angle. There are no truly original stories, but you have to find something fresh to sell us. Have you read a single description of a romance book that doesn’t sound like hundreds of other romance books? Do something different and experimental. Whatever you do: Stand up and stand out! Start thinking audiobooks, for instance. (But it’s still way too early to bother with setting up an app for your book. People aren’t using the medium that way in any numbers.)

9. Work harder with your editorial team. Expand your beta reader bunch. Make it cleaner. Don’t wait for perfection, but excellence will do nicely.

10. We write to be read. Shyness is not helping you. Do something to promote your books every day. Do not whine that this is necessary. If you aren’t going to promote, you may as well write for your desk drawer. That’s okay, if that’s what you want. (I sincerely doubt that’s what you want.) And stop tweeting book links without imagination.

Six Seconds 030111. Use video more. We are visual creatures, so use YouTube more on your website or try Vine. If they’re quick, video blogs are interesting. (WordPress allows you to do audio blogs pretty easily, too.) Reach people in new ways. Buy Six Seconds, The Unauthorized Guide to How to Build Your Business with the Vine App by Robert Chazz Chute. (I told you it didn’t pay to be shy.) The Vine app is an example of a new way to reach new readers. It’s video Twitter and the time to jump in early is slipping away. Join now. 

In Part 3, Me: Full Throttle, I’ll show you how I’m reaching out to new readers in new ways. You could do this yourself or even be part of my strategy, if you’re cool enough. Are you cool enough? Click here.

Podcast: Furious!

Definitely NSFW: Furious with the phone company and myself, I lose it. Also, Atheists vs Christians and the third chapter of Higher Than Jesus hits the fan.

Please check out our sponsor, Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com for your graphics needs.

Thanks for listening to the All That Chazz podcast. If you like it, please leave a happy review on iTunes.

Cheers!

~ Chazz

NSFW: A fun little excerpt from my work-in-progress Hollywood Jesus

I’ve had trouble breaking through a plot problem with Hollywood Jesus, the third instalment of The Hit Man Series. This afternoon it came to me how to amp up the rush and now I’m plunging forward through the book again, writing madly.

One of the things I enjoy about my main character, Jesus Diaz, is that he’s such a smart ass. That leads to more jokes and fun dialogue amid the heart-wrenching carnage, sex and violence. Here’s a bit I wrote tonight:

“Who’s the client?” you asked your boss, friend and amateur Ving Rhames lookalike, Chillie Gillie.

Chill wouldn’t say. Three worry deep lines appeared on his forehead, so you knew the client was a friend.

“What’d Fitzwald do?”

“Maybe nothing. Right now, all we know for sure is he’s an asshole. This a search for evidence sort of deal. This is not a search and destroy mission, you dig?”

“I dig, Shaft.”

Chill pulls a puss. “Shut your mouth.” 

“What? Just haven’t heard anybody say ‘dig’ in a long time.”

 “I’m bringing it back. I’m also thinking of bringing back the word ‘groovy’.”

“Groovy. I can dig it.”

“There you go.”

~ Bigger Than Jesus by Robert Chazz Chute is #1. Higher Than Jesus is #2. Look for the next book in the series at the end of April. 

The Moving Forward Edition

On today’s podcast, Alex Jones stars as Yosemite Sam, special shout outs abound and we get Higher Than Jesus, Chapter 1. Strap in.

To hear the hilarious 40 Year Old Boy Podcast I referred to in this podcast, go to MikeSchmidtcomedy.com. On the January 10 show, Mike talks about my books, Higher Than Jesus and me sending him bad chicken through the mail. 

Clips today from Bugs Bunny, Dylan Rattigan of MSNBC and Cenk Uygur of The Young Turks. This podcast is sponsored by the most skilled graphic artist of his generation, Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com. Music for this podcast (including All This, Mistake the Getaway and Pop Goes the Weasel) supplied by Kevin MacLeod of Incompetech.com. 

Need more drama at a safe distance and some sexy cool suspense in your life? Check out all the links for books by Robert Chazz Chute.

Thanks for listening and reading! If you like it, please review it on iTunes or Amazon. Cheers!