Sunday Morning Nonsense

My coffeemaker died this morning. Usually, this would be an earth-shaking event. Looking for reviews of new hot bean juice dispensers, I went down a rabbit hole and found myself in a hilarious corner of Internet Shopping Hell.

While scanning for Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals, I indulged the whim of searching “Best Retirement Gifts for Men.” I’m not retiring. Writers never retire. We just keep typing until we expire. First thing that pops up? Memorial wind chimes.

MEMORIAL WIND CHIMES?! Really, Amazon? Ah, yes, every time the breeze blows, the gentle tinkling reminds me of dead Papa! He haunts the back patio, demanding entrance to the house. And at night, the demons come.

That’s the gift you want the moment you retire, right? Now that you’ve opted out of producing for capitalism, please die quickly. We will remember you fondly, Gary! (The guy in the memorial wind chime photo looks like a Gary. The other guy looks like a Eugene. Both tragic.)

And then there’s this bullshit.

Wear that anywhere, sure! However, you won’t be able to sit down and rest for a single moment. You’ll be too busy running from jeering children. Women will spit. Men will weep. Grandmas will beat you with umbrellas. Even the village idiot will look away, embarrassed for you. Clergy will throw rocks, urging you on, forever fleeing, banished to wretched solitude in dark, cursed forests. Only there will you be able to finally sit on your contraption to a cold repast of earthworns, pine cones, and regret.

Wearing sweatpants in public used to signal that you’d given up. Welcome to the new sweatpants.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Book Christmas

Looks like we’ll get our first real snow here tomorrow. The malls are packed with shoppers, but people don’t go into panic-shopping mode until the weather turns and it really looks like Christmas is coming. Now that December 25 is just a few weeks away, it’s time to order your Christmas books.

Find my author profiles using the links below:

Amazon US

Amazon UK

Amazon Canada

Sincerely, what else can I do for you?

I’ve learned most about writing fiction from reading fiction, especially that of William Goldman. More than likely, you know his screenplays, most famously The Princess Bride. His novels are sublime and are now largely ignored as people favor the film medium. That guy sure knew how to delight with unexpected yet inevitable surprises.

For influences, I also have to name-check Stephen King for his dialogue and character work and Blake Crouch for pacing.

But this post isn’t about brilliant writing.
I want to hear from you.

This post is about what else readers want, what you want.

It is startling how much work a publisher and author can put into promoting their books and still fail to move the needle. Our focus is pulled in many directions. The attention economy is fragmented. Marketing gurus insist an author newsletter is paramount, but very few people seem to read them. I’ve got a bunch of old subscriptions to newsletters sitting in my inbox. I will never get to them. Their appeal feels dated now.

What can I give you besides a great story and hours and hours of inexpensive entertainment?

  • A revered teacher once said, “You know what people want? Everything yesterday, through the mail, for free.” That’s a high bar to meet for a micro-business, but there are free promotions. To launch the book, some readers will pick up freebies (hopefully to read, love, and review). I’ll apply for a Bookbub promotion and set up various giveaways to prime the algorithms and get reviews.
  • Audiobooks. That’s on my radar, and I do have a home studio. So far, I’ve only used the blanket fort for podcast interviews. However, I feel Endemic and Vengeance Is Hers need a female narrator, not my voice. It’s an expensive proposition with no guarantee of remuneration, but of course, that’s true of any enterprise. It’s a question of making the budget work while calculating the risks.
  • Merch. I’ve got T-shirts and bookmarks in the works. This is not usually a major factor, but I plan to sell a lot of my books in person in 2025, so extras are a sweet idea.
  • Special editions. Because I’m shipping from Canada and most of my readers are American, I haven’t seriously explored this before. However, with in-person selling, I see the value in making some of my books extra special. For select hardcovers, I plan to add ribbon bookmarks and painted book edges.
  • Social proof. When seeking validation, authors always think of reviews first, and they aren’t wrong. The more reviews a book gets, the more it pushes the online stores’ algorithms. Readers read reviews to make buying decisions. Mass mailings to Booktubers and Booktok folks can be prohibitively expensive. There’s still Bookfunnel for free review copies, but unless the reviewer can hold up your book on social media, it’s less impactful.
  • Awards. Some authors question their value, but it’s one more subtle way to reassure readers they are in good hands. I’ve won fifteen awards for my writing. Does that help? It doesn’t hurt to quote a third party’s enthusiasm when hyping a book. (Not all awards are created equal, but that’s a different post.)
  • Engagement. One of the joys of my life comes daily as I talk with readers who have become fans and friends. I post on social media, but the core group is Fans of Robert Chazz Chute on Facebook. As I worked to recover from two hip replacements last year, I got a lot of love, sympathy, and support there. That went far beyond what I could do for them as fans of my work.

Writing a novel is difficult. Finding readers is much harder.

It’s easy to overspend on marketing that goes nowhere. You can write a great book, but too often, it gets lost in the deluge. There are a hundred variables outside of the writer’s control. Hundreds of marketing companies and PR firms promise the world. Marketing gurus say they possess the special sauce or magic secret. None of them admit that luck and timing play a huge role in what ranks.

My dad was successful in business, and he often said something I hated. “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” I hated it most because (a) I’m an introvert pretending to be an extrovert, and (b) I suspect he was right. For instance, it seems the hosts of Slate podcasts will interview authors as long as the guest is a sister, mentor, someone they went to school with, or mentee.
Incessant logrolling is strong with the elite, and I’m not in that club.

Note the sincere face as I ask this.

What can I give you?

I didn’t write this post to whine. I’m asking you, as a reader, what do you value? Endemic won multiple awards. This Plague of Days is a best-selling zombie apocalypse novel. Citizen Second Class is trenchant and relevant to our times. My crime fiction (The Hit Man Series and The Night Man) is both knuckly and funny. Besides offering compelling novels with surprising twists, heart, and action, what grabs your attention?

My team and I are working hard to make Vengeance Is Hers a great story. What else can I do to become one of your favorite authors?

Check out all my books using this universal Amazon link:

http://author.to/RobertChazzChute

How 2023 kicked my ass (and what I’m doing about it)

Two hip replacements in a single year is no joke, but I am improving and a new novel is coming. Here’s my path back to health and happy productivity in 2024.

In less than a week, I have a follow-up appointment with my surgeon to confirm my recovery is on track. My physio is optimistic and enthused, but then, she is always incredibly upbeat. We are quite the contrast. She’s energetic, and I’m the grumpy old man from Up. I need to change some things, but short of a personality transplant, how?

I have some ideas (and the last one is probably the best)

  • I used to treat people with various pain conditions. I know the rehabilitation process. However, I’m impatient. Particularly on bad pain days, I must remind myself to simply do the exercises without being so attached to results. Rehabilitation of injuries is a little like writing a first draft. I have to trust the process.
  • Particularly after a terrible night’s sleep, I am exhausted of being me. I feel trapped in my body so I have to be gentler with myself. I could worry more, but would it help? I put my head down, have a rest, and do the exercises. It will all work out. Like tinkering with a manuscript, it all works out given enough time. “Enough time” is usually more than I would have hoped.
  • As a chronic insomniac with a busy brain, I don’t panic about missing a night’s sleep anymore. Instead, I sleep when I sleep. Nobody shakes off a double hip replacement in one year easily. When I feel a nap coming for me, I don’t fight it.
  • We can terrorize ourselves with shoulds. I should do more. I should do this, I should do that. But I can’t do it all and I certainly can’t do it all right now. What’s left? Acceptance.
  • Self-care takes many forms. Sometimes it’s a treat, a nap, a ride in the car just to get outside, chatting with a friend on the phone, or giving up for the day.
  • Medications, as needed. Right now, that’s usually nothing more than Aspirin, but sometimes it’s Lorazepam.
  • Once I’m cleared for more exercise, I’m looking forward to that outlet. The aims are to get my cardiovascular fitness back, improve my strength and achieve a higher quality of life. Aside from the stress relief more movement will provide, I’m in training to be able to sit still and write for longer periods.
  • As a news and politics junkie, I have sabotaged my mental health. I feed my busy brain with information I can’t use. I own two bone-conduction headphones, one for day, one for night. I wear them constantly to consume podcasts, audiobooks, and music. Nothing wrong with that in moderation, but I realize now how much is too much. I’m taking the headphones off to focus on reading more and writing more.

    In short, my best and biggest change is to guard my quiet time. I already have a negativity bias. I don’t need to feed it a high-caloric diet of atrocities in the present and fears for the future. Until I get that Iron Man suit, there’s not much I can do about that. So…

    PROTECT YOUR PEACE

    I’m in training to get back to being me. RIght now, I’m plagued with my identity as a patient. Can’t wait to focus more on being a writer beloved by perhaps tens of people!


    My next novel is a tale of vengeance that spans decades. Endemic was about how we change and how we don’t. This one is about how we won’t. Please stand by, and thank you for your patience.

    Looking for a great award-winning novel that’s criminally underrated this holiday season? Look no further. Please add Endemic to your shipping cart.

Available in paperback, hardcover, and ebook.

My Christmas Book Suggestion


In Endemic, the protagonist is Ovid Fairweather, a neurotic book editor who becomes an urban farmer in the viral apocalypse. Guided by her dead therapist, she has to deal with the many dangers other survivors pose, but deep down, this is about how we change and how we don’t.

Endemic has won the Literary Titan Award and earned first place at the New York Book Festival and the Hollywood Book Festival.

Bulletin! This is just in!

“We are excited to inform you the following title is included in the Prime Reading program on Amazon.ca from 1-Dec-2022 to 1-Jun-2023.” ~ Amazon

Endemic is live on Amazon!

So Endemic is in PR now! They said it would be three months, but apparently, this goes all the way to June! In case you’re wondering, the internet goblins can define the situation for us: Prime Reading is a benefit for Amazon Prime members that makes over a thousand eBooks available for borrowing, at no extra cost. You can keep up to ten eBooks at a time and there are no due dates.

Whether you’re in Prime or not, you can still read the ebook, paperback, or hardcover,
May I humbly (or not so humbly) suggest the hardcover would make an excellent Christmas gift? Sure, I can!

Some readers have asked me what the power and the curse is in the subtitle to Endemic. It’s the same element: memory. Our experiences make us who we become. Our memories burn us and forge us.

Thank you, and have a great binge-read.

See the AFTER Life for free

Today is the last day of the free promotion of AFTER Life, INFERNO. This trilogy doesn’t get enough love, but the story of how Artificial Intelligence takes over the world via brain parasites was a lot of fun to write.


mybook.to/AFTERLifeINFERNO

Where it Came From

A local photographer was a fan of This Plague of Days. The parent of two kids on the spectrum, he really dug Jaimie Spencer’s role in the zombie/vampire apocalypse. His hobby was to take pics of local artists of all stripes, so he reached out to ask to take photos of me. I still use one of his pics for my author photo.

When he walked into my chaotic office, he paused, maybe in shock. Surveying my many crammed bookshelves, he said, “This is an interesting creative space. Your mess says a lot about you.”

Me: “Uh…thanks?”

The Seed of the Idea

We started talking about end-of-the-world potentialities, and he told me an interesting story. He had a friend who worked on Toronto’s police force. The photographer said there is a viral research lab in downtown Toronto. The cop swore his priority in the worst-case scenario was “containment.” That meant that if a virus in the vault started infecting the research staff, he’d be tasked with keeping the infected in the lab. If any medical personnel tried to escape the vault, they would be shot in hopes of protecting the city.

AFTER LIFE INFERNO, PURGATORY, & PARADISE is Born

I attended the University of King’s College Foundation Year Program. It’s basically the history of philosophy and the survey course included everything from the Bible to classical literature and modern jazz. We’d sit around entertaining questions like, “What is the definition of the soul?” (My favorite answer: The essence of the whatness of the being.) That’s where I got introduced to Dante. Inferno is great. I didn’t enjoy Purgatorio and Paradisio as much, but Dante’s vision of Hell was fascinating. So, with that loose structure in mind, I sallied forth with my take on weaponized brain parasites escaping a military lab.

Setting it in Toronto, I brought Artificial Intelligence and the future of humanity into the mix. The trilogy puts an infected police officer and a brilliant research scientist on the same side, but maybe not for long. (Wink!)

I love how this story evolves as the AI goes from attacking and taking over humans to learning more about us. When you get to Paradise, the AI is out to invade America and improve us against our will. Humans are a problem to be solved, and the story winds up going to very compelling places.

Get your copy of AFTER Life, INFERNO today and it’s free. Get it tomorrow and it’s still ridiculously cheap!

Or get the whole series as a huge paperback (600+ pages!) or the e-box set here.

AFTER Life OMNIBUS
I've been featured on eBookDaily

Hours and Hours of Cheap Entertainment

I know! I know! I should say “inexpensive” entertainment, but 99 cents is really cheap for great novels that can take years to create. For the next couple of days, I’ve got This Plague of Days in a Black Friday promotion along with a bunch of other horror books.

https://books.bookfunnel.com/black_horrorfriday/u3fmi96fzsOne of many to check out!

If you haven’t taken a chance on an author who is unfamiliar to you, this is your opportunity to jump in and find something to love.

Here’s the landing page for the Black Friday sale:

https://books.bookfunnel.com/black_horrorfriday/u3fmi96fzs

Click a cover, get a book, enjoy!