Category: Musings

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Authors & Publishers: How to Make a Media Kit Part 2

For more writing & publishing advice, you could go nuts and buy Crack the Indie Author Code. Just sayin’.

Part One of this article and points 1 -7 appear at ChazzWrites.com. For a sample media kit, please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter in the link to the right or send your email address to expartepress at gmail dot com and I’ll email the pdfs to you anyway. However, if you mention your website in the newsletter sign-up form, I’ll give your page a plug in the All That Chazz Podcast. I’m easy that way.

Now, on to more fun yet crucial points about creating a killer media kit: 

8. Some people think email is easier to delete so they send boxes to media outlets. Stick with email. You’ll never hear from a bunch of the journalists you approach. Printing out a fancy press kit and trying something UPS-delivered with a red ribbon on it is not worth the expense. Better to hit them up for editorial coverage several times through the year and do it cheaply instead of betting it all on one killer package that has to hit now to pay off. Save some of your chips for the next roll. Seriously, please save your money. A document that arrives in the mail is just as easy to dump in the garbage can beside the desk. If the package is perfumed in any way, you just went from quirky and interesting to creepy stalker.

9. Unless you’ve cured cancer and have been keeping it a secret from the world’s medical community until now, don’t pay for a huge media release from a press release propagator. I tried it and, besides jumping through their annoying hoops, it had all the amusing charm of throwing money out the window of a moving car. It was expensive, had no measurable impact and their sales team kept calling until I got mean.

10. Keep the press release short and to the point. More than one page is a strain and a mistake. If you’ve got too much to share it will get lost so use it in your catalogue page. Bullet points are awesome if you can fit your content to your pitch. A solid FAQ page with lots of white space is an alluring alternative. Don’t send a video on CD. There’s a good chance the production values will be too low and they’ll also be afraid that if they watch it, they’ll die in seven days. (Give them a Youtube link instead if you feel your video is that strong.)

11. Provide some detail in your author bio that establishes you as an expert: Awards won, relevant job experience, books written or other media in which you’ve appeared. Keep it short (or go longer if it tells a story. Rags to riches is good. Plucky, spunky and coming up will probably have to do.) You have an advantage over all the other press releases your target will receive today: Every reporter wants to publish  a book, too, so they want to meet you and find out how you cheated, lied and took enough drugs to get this stupidly quixotic. 

12. Think visually and use images: Luckily, this is where your killer book covers come in. To make sure the attachments got opened so they could see and appreciate all my awesome covers, I used this ad designed by Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com at the bottom of my cover letter: 

13. Provide your name, contact numbers, email address and websites. It’s a really good idea to remember this point so they can contact you for the interview unless you are wicked clairvoyant. 

14. When they interview you, be positive and chipper and helpful. It’s not in the bag until it’s in print or on air, so pretend you’re an extrovert. Later you can go back to being miserable in private. I am.

15. Hit multiple news outlets over time. It’s unlikely one media event will sell a lot of books. You could get a bit of a bump depending on the venue, but awareness takes time. Sales usually require repeated encounters as you permeate the world’s consciousness. Don’t bet everything on one roll of the dice and keep your expectations low to very conservative. Success always pleasantly surprises me.

16. Someone will be unhappy about your apparent success, however deceptive appearances may be. Ignore them. Several someones may contact you to write their book idea (as happened to me after a much-publicized contest win.) Run away screaming at full speed with your hands over your head. Change phone numbers, and country of residence if they persist.

17. Remember that you don’t do this for the fame and riches. It’s all about the writing and the orgies with the Roman toga theme. Get back to the keyboard and TO-GA! TO-GA! TO-GA!

~ Robert Chazz Chute is the author of a bunch of cool, helpful and suspenseful books that you can buy here. How suspiciously convenient.

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1 cool video, 1 true story, 2 books of non-fiction & 5 books of fun lies

Video by Kit Foster of Kit Foster Design.com

Click to get Higher Than Jesus free from Nov. 19 to Nov. 23, 2012!

True Story: I ran into a guy in the grocery store today I used to serve in my old job, the one before I started whisking people away to strange worlds. The last time I saw him, as he walked out the door, he said, “By the way, I won’t be buying your books.”

THUD! WHAT?!

“But Self-help for Stoners is humor and suspense!” I protested. Now I’ve written a lot more books and they’re still not for the humor-impaired or the prissy!

(Sorry, E, but you hurt my feelings…well…you hurt my feeling.)

Please click here for all my books and enjoy!

Higher Than Jesus  ~ My clever hit man fails miserably at group therapy, gets laid and tries to escape his addictions with his soul intact.

Bigger Than Jesus ~ My funny, luckless hit man tries to escape the mob he betrayed with stolen mob money and the love of his life. 

Sex, Death & Mind Control ~ Powerfully persuasive people are out to get you. Read this one with the lights on.

The Dangerous Kind & Other Stories ~ Poeticule Bay, Maine: A town so small, it feels like you’re trapped in a coffin. 

Self-help for Stoners ~ Self-help made out of suspense to make you laugh out loud.

Crack the Indie Author Code ~ Get inspired and stay on track to write your book.

Write Your Book: Aspire to Inspire ~ More publishing strategies to write that book you’re dreaming about.

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Election postmortem: And here we are

It’s the day after the US election and it’s all over but the crying and the hoping. Yes, I’m using the H word again: Hope. Many of my American friends say there’s no difference  between Obama and Romney, so the election didn’t really matter. They aren’t exactly wrong. It was sad to see a debate on foreign policy that made no mention of climate change, Wikileaks, or Bradley Manning. But there are differences between Democrats and Republicans and I’m hoping the Republicans don’t learn the wrong lesson and follow Charles Krauthammer’s terrible advice that Mitt Romney lost because he wasn’t conservative enough.

The Republicans espoused less government but their agenda was to control the lives of women more (as in page 14 of their position paper: If you’re raped, you must have the baby, but if the only way you can have a baby is through in vitro fertilization, you can’t.) If you know or care about an American woman, the Republican party in its current form wasn’t a good choice. The American people agreed with that assessment and voted for more Obama and less fear-mongering yesterday.

The Republican party denies global warming and climate science and they’d make Supreme Court appointments to reflect their fact-challenged positions. Teachers, firefighters and soldiers, according to the Right, are expensive inconveniences (unless, of course, you’re pandering to them in a speech or it’s convenient to you.) Republicans blocked bills that would help injured and afflicted 911 first responders and programs to help veterans. Firefighters don’t vote on whether your life is worth saving before they turn on the lights and sirens to rush to your aid. If they did, they’d be…well, I guess they’d be Paul Ryan.

Like most Canadians, I’m relieved at last night’s election results. Romney’s long list of gaffes, his secrecy over his tax returns and his lack of a core (a “windsock of a man”, as Bill Maher put it) should have disqualified him from running for the White House. The cynical pick of Paul Ryan — a wink to reassure the extreme right that Romney was crazy enough — smacked of McCain’s pick of Palin in 2008. Romney and Ryan tried to bluff their way into leadership with a tax plan they wouldn’t reveal and fetching, insincere  smiles and P90X work out pictures. Will the Republican party change, eschew the Southern Strategy and broaden its appeal to a wider, more diverse base?

I hope so. The Republican party would be better for the change because one of the many strengths of America is a two-party system, compassion and reason. What the Republicans once were, they have to get back to. A good start would be to rebuke Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh, Karl Rove, Dick Morris, Anne Coulter and most of the people who work at FOX. Those voices try to act like they’re helping, but they’re only helping themselves and hurting the country by giving a voice to the most hateful and cynical rhetoric. They hurt Republican’s chance of being elected in the future. Race politics are out because the demographics aren’t so pale anymore.

In 2008, the Republicans made the denial of a second term to Obama their “first priority.” Serving their country’s best interests by endorsing plans that had once been Republican ideas? It’s hard to say how far down their list of priorities their country was. Mitch McConnell and Eric Cantor and Reince Priebus sneered at Mr. Obama, tried to obstruct his policies and turned their backs on his attempts at compromise. They tried to delegitimize a democratically elected president at every turn. At the RNC, the party faithful applauded the idea that they were the “owners” of America instead of its citizens. They applauded fierce pride but were silent on equality, diversity and caring. They tried to con the electorate into policies that would destroy the middle class by telling the working poor they were all “soon to be” wealthy, too.

Shortly after President Obama’s first election, we were told it was now a “post-racial America.” The opposite was true. His election radicalized the haters. The hateful rhetoric got louder and not just from the extremists on the right. The so-called “moderates” catered to the Tea Party extreme instead of rebuking them. What John McCain feared at the end of his 2008 campaign came true and the party was hijacked by the extremists. Mitt Romney stood by Donald Trump, took his endorsement and his donations and never once challenged Trump’s calls to expose the Other. When Rush Limbaugh called a woman a slut, all Romney could say was, “I wouldn’t have used those words.” Romney didn’t simply  lack a heart. He needed a spine transplant.

Trump deleted some of his outrageous tweets from last night. Republicans need to lose him, too, if they hope to retake the White House. This is the 21st century, and the country needs two parties good and strong enough to face the future together.

When the President of the United States reaches across the aisle, he can’t reach farther than halfway. Raise your hand.

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From publishing’s rabbit’s warren

Sorry there was no podcast last week. I’ve found that publishing three ebooks and three print books at one time is somewhat time-consuming. (Who knew?!) This weekend I pulled my first all-nighter since studying anatomy and neurophysiology years ago. I can still go all night (ladies!) but the next day I wander in a fog looking for my teddy bear and a good place to walk in a circle three times and collapse, cocker spaniel-like.

I will (little doubt) publish a podcast later this week as long as I don’t have any flack from Amazon about the uploads. I shouldn’t have any problems now, but after my adventures wrestling with the publishing program Scrivener this week, I’m now a more cynical person. Stuff that should work? I don’t trust it anymore. Stuff that should work after so many attempts, yet still doesn’t? After a series of relentless failures in getting files to publish properly, you begin to expect the worst.

I’ll have news about Higher Than Jesus, Crack the Indie Author Code and Write Your Book: Aspire to Inspire. Soon. I hope.

So much to do, so many mimes to kill.

 

 

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Links-a-plenty: Kale shakes & getting healthier

 

Author Denise DeSio asked about kale shakes. (My buddy and graphic artist, Kit Foster, thinks I’m insane for drinking them and sent me the above graphic for a laugh.) I started a reply to Denise on ChazzWrites, but then my short answer got away from me. Here’s how I make my kale shakes for weight loss, mental acuity, health and a general feeling of awesomeness. (I’m not a doctor. I just remember what smart people say.)

First, the kale shakes: There are a lot of recipes out there, but I add at least a fistful of kale to a blender with a cup of water; add a small pear or two and a little coconut oil to a food processor or blender and set the speed to “liquefy to death”. The coconut oil adds healthy fat, is filling and sweet and increases absorption of fat-soluble vitamins. Put the kale and water in first for easier blending. If your blender sucks, get straws with an extra-large circumference intended for thick milkshakes.

My drinks vary. I add protein powder and a carrot (for colour and beta carotene) or an avocado (for texture). Some people call it juice fasting. I call my shakes “liquified salads” that allow me to eat more vegetables than I otherwise would. It’s much more convenient, filling and pleasant than doing my rabbit impression.

Some kale shakes are more aggressive in their nutritional payload and punch, and include cayenne pepper, ginger or garlic. Experiment to find the right mix of fruits and vegetables. Strawberries are sweet but don’t have too many calories if you don’t go too crazy. Bananas are sweet, but they add too much sugar to be helpful (high glycemic index). The more cruciferous vegetables, the better.

Watch the fun and inspirational documentary Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. If that appeals to you, you can join the movement and get more details at www.JointheReboot.com.

For variety, I’ll have almond milk as a coffee with a bit of baking cocoa. I start each day with coffee with ghee (or grass-fed butter) so I feel full longer and eat much less than I used to. All those healthy fats increase satiety so the number of calories consumed goes way down and, contrary to the low-fat diet mantra that’s failed us miserably, the right kinds of fats actually combat cardiovascular disease. Fat and portion control is the answer to what cardiologists refer to as the French Paradox (i.e. The French are healthier than North Americans yet consume more fat.) We aren’t what we eat. We are the lies we swallow.

For more on the joys of almond milk, veganism and the struggle to eat better, listen to my podcast discussion with Mark Young, the smartest and tallest vegan I know.  Mark’s blog is MondaysAreMeatless. 

I still eat meat, but less so. I’m more Paleo diet than vegan, though I’m eating less of everything and vegetables are the main focus. For instance, I used to eat more luggage when forced to wait in airport lounges. Small children weren’t safe.

For years people have been running away from coconut oil and avocado, but they’re full of good fats (omega 3s and 6s.) If coconut isn’t for you, consider neutral-tasting MCT oil for the healthy, medium-chain fatty acids. I avoid sugar whenever possible. I’ve begun to get away from Aspartame because, now that I’m not anaesthetizing myself to my psychic pain with simple carbs, I feel more sensitive to my reactions to foods and chemicals. I opt more for xylitol or stevia as sweeteners. (Too much xylitol and you’re in the bathroom, jetting for lift-off.)

I also feel much sharper mentally now that I’m riding the green train. White bread, white rice, simple carbs and processed foods make me sleepy (when they don’t leave me hungrier.) You know you’re getting older when a couple of slices of Wonder Bread put you in a coma. I’ve eliminated pop. I exercise more and I’m sleeping better. Though I use a treadmill desk, writers are still so damn sedentary there’s really no choice but to move more if we hope to live long enough to see our books published. We have to take care of ourselves. I’m thinking of hiring a big guy to chase me.

The diet alterations are working for me. I started out with a kale shake a day and have graduated to two or even three instead of canned and processed crap. Grocery shopping is cheaper and takes much less time now because I buy leaves at farmers’ markets. (“Ooh, kale!” I say. “That would taste good chopped into a molecular paste with garlic and a half a cup of blueberries!”

For more on Upgraded Coffee and surprising brain and body hacks, check out BulletproofExec.com.

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I am not puddin’. I am a jungle cat.

McDonalds used to have crap coffee. It tasted so bad, I thought it was a mistake. Then I tried it again and it tasted just as bad. Then they wanted to compete with Tim Hortons and Starbucks and improved. On my next try, I thought the McDonalds’ coffee wasn’t bad (and it was all I’d consume there.) However, after drinking it, I’d always feel awful and sleepy soon after. I found out why: It’s the mold we’re drinking in cheap coffee.

As a writer, I’m incredibly sedentary. I’m drinking, and chewing, kale shakes with some positive results to combat becoming puddin’. When I eat cookies, cakes and carbs, I feel lethargic. Knock back a kale shake and I feel energetic and focussed. But I missed the coffee. I drink almond milk as coffee, but was overloading on aspartame.

Next addition to the arsenal? Coffee, but not your dad’s coffee. Strong coffee filled with slimming MCT oil, coconut oil and unsalted creamy butter loaded with the kind of fats that are healthy for your brain and make you feel full.

I’m working on brain and body hacks using Bulletproof Exec. I can’t afford shipping in coffee, but I do have access to fire roasted coffee that seems fine. (It’s the mold and mycotoxins often found on coffee beans that make you feel like crap and when I drink the fire roasted stuff, I feel fine. I experimented with the butter (ghee) and MCT oil and coconut oil today. WIth a little bit of Xylitol (or stevia) it’s okay. It doesn’t taste as great as a latte loaded with sugar and cream, but the options I’m working with now might save my life, so there’s that.

Scoop.it

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Flick That Switch: Be the Change You Want to See

This afternoon I took my son to see Here Comes the Boom, a fun little movie with Kevin James and Joe Rogan. It’s an extremely unlikely story about a 42-year-old biology teacher competing in the UFC to raise enough cash to save his high school’s music program. Henry Winkler plays the music teacher, a guy so endearing, who wouldn’t want to save him? It’s worth a few laughs and it’s sweet. It must have been okay because the moment I sat down I spilled half my son’s Slushie down my ass. I stayed and watched and got into it, though my left cheek didn’t heat up until I got home and had a hot shower.

The thing is, there’s a moment in there that made me cry (not the Slushie thing). I won’t spoil it with details. If you see it, though, it’s the moment Kevin James asks the gorgeous Salma Hayek, “How did you do this?” She replies, “I called him!”

Cut to Joe Rogan, the generous guy. I happen to know that Joe Rogan is exceedingly generous in real life: Hundred dollar tips to waiters for a bagel; helping his friends out; being kind to strangers. Like that.

And my heart said, “Chazz, you gotta be more Rogan.”

I have to do better. I’ve paid my dues and it’s time to be a success. I’m going to make that happen. I want to be the guy who does well enough to be more generous, to inspire others more , to help out more. I will, because I’m also the guy who gets things done. You know how I do that? Deciding. Then decide to do it again, and again and again and so on. The only way up that mountain is one step at a time, moment by moment.

I’m launching a bunch of books soon: non-fiction to inspire other writers and fiction to help people forget their troubles. That’s one part of what’s coming. Stay tuned. In the meantime, be more Rogan.