“Great stress relief advice from someone who’s been there All sorts of great stress relief advice culled from many disparate sources and delivered in a friendly, honest, personal and relatable voice. Something here for everyone.“
“A pot-pourri of tips, tricks, and strategies for combating all manner of stress and strain in your life. Chute draws from a wide array of social, psychological, technological, and religious fields to help the reader both understand and manage the daily struggle of modern life”
This audio includes a short box breathing exercise and a mixture of the contract/relax technique and visualization to help you relieve stress.
Do not listen to this while you are driving or doing anything that requires your attention elsewhere.
Last week, I wrote about the 3A Triad of Stress Management. Today, I’d like to share a breathing and visualization exercise with the aim of:
Staying in the moment to
deepen breathing in order to
boost body awareness to
ease bodily tension
and cue a more calm state of mind.
With practice, you can consciously ease your stress and deepen relaxation.
Your body is constantly listening in on your thoughts and reacts to those thoughts unconsciously. As you entertain stressful thoughts, the red-light reflex kicks in and your muscles tense up.
Here’s the good news:
Using time-tested mindfulness techniques, you can activate the green-light reflex. Your mind is listening to your body, too. By deepening your breathing and consciously easing muscle tension, your autonomic nervous system sends out a useful signal: “I am not being chased by a bear.”
You can use box breathing anytime. Breathe in for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4, repeat as necessary to increase calm in the face of stress.
The rest of today’s audio exploration is meant to be performed on your bed, on a couch or on the floor if you can get comfortable. As long as you are comfortable and can take approximately 20 minutes to yourself without distractions, you can deepen this practice to ease your stress.
This recording has been a Blanket Fort Production by Robert Chazz Chute of AllThatChazz.com, all rights reserved.
“Yeah. Like, is there a central theme to all your work?”
That put me back on my heels for a moment, but I came up with something. It’s this:
Whether I’m writing science fiction, apocalyptic novels, or crime thrillers, it’s always about the drama of closing the space between how things are and how they ought to be.
This, my friends, is why fiction is better than non-fiction. Fiction has to make more sense than reality. Looking around, much of our new reality fails to make sense. The entire world is under quarantine and the economy is unplugged. Mismanagement abounds. Some policy failures seem indistinguishable from actively trying to kill the disenfranchised. Nope, not kidding. If you count yourself among the disadvantaged, you feel that punch in your heart, head, and guts.
Okay, okay! We get it, Rob! Things are bad. What’s your point?
My dad will turn 94 this year. He often says, “I’ve never seen anything like this.” I understand his culture shock, but our existential dread is not unique. The difference now is that more people face existential dread of the same thing simultaneously.
If you’ve ever waited by the phone for test results from a doctor, you recognize this awful sensation. If you’re feeling bored, unproductive, overstimulated, under-stimulated, sad, angry or depressed, you’re not alone. The poor or differently-abled often feel trapped and frustrated, much like this. Many people feel as you do and this is not new to them. Even under normal circumstances, many have difficulty leaving their homes and moving about freely for a variety of reasons. Want to take a ride just to get out of the house? Okay. Lots of people can’t afford cars. A ride on a bus, if there is public transport, can be dangerous.
My point is not that you shouldn’t complain.
Vent if you need to do so. Your feelings are valid. Your broken toe doesn’t feel better because someone else gets their leg amputated. I spread my sympathy around everywhere without holding back.
I want to make a more subtle point:
For all of us, each day dealing with COVID-19 is one more straw atop the camel’s back (and that poor camel’s knees are trembling). For me, it’s the helplessness that gets to me. If you aren’t classified as an essential worker, your job in the pandemic is to do nothing but stay home. Doing nothing is very much akin to helplessness. I want it fixed. I want to fix it. I want people to survive and thrive. I’m sure you do, too. For most of us, we are playing a waiting game. Failing to wait can be deadly, so this is a game we don’t want to lose. The stakes are high and, like you, I’m feeling that nervy pain daily.
So it’s time to revisit something from Do the Thing.
In stressful situations, we’re biologically programmed to flee, fight or freeze. Those could be more useful responses when our species was hunted by evil clowns riding Bengal tigers through primordial jungles.* That’s probably less helpful here.
To better cope with our stress, we want choices, not automatic and autonomic responses.
Here are your choices using 3A Stress Management
In any stressful situation, you choose from the Alter/Avoid/Accept Triad.
Alter: Change the frame and circumstance if and where you can. Make isolation more pleasant. Find helpful, happy and healthy distractions.
And ask for support.
Avoid: Get away from threats to your physical and mental health where possible (i.e. masks, physical distancing, isolation, etc.)
And ask for support.
Accept: Don’t try to control that which is beyond your control.
And ask for support.
I hope you find 3A stress management helpful. This is me, still trying to close the distance between an Ought and an Is, even in non-fiction. If you’re searching for more stress management ideas, check out Do the Thing.
Much love and be well!
Rob
* What? Nobody ever told you about the evil clowns riding Bengal tigers through primordial jungles? Jeez. Read a science book, will ya?!
A. Gilligan’s Island. B. In orbit on the ISS. C. It’s the plot of the Martian and you’re Matt Damon.
Mars would be optimal but for the loneliness. The International Space Station has a lovely view. If you live with a Gilligan who’s always screwing everything up for everybody, you’re going to have to tie up your little buddy and spray him with Lysol three times a day.
Okay, cool. We’re stuck. How do you plan to use this time and stay sane?
For many of us, it’s been about a week or so in isolation.
I write books for a living. My struggle kicked in before the coronavirus arrived on our shores. For the last three months, I’ve been having a hard time getting into my job. I love writing once I start, but, ooh, it can be hard to start. As Stephen King says, “The scariest part is right before you start.”
I have a book about two-thirds written and several other projects that need attention. After publishing Citizen Second Class on Christmas Day, I fell into a kaleidoscope of distractions, working on marketing plans, developing book plots and proposals, goofing off a little, and entertaining a killer funk. Funks are not fun. I need to focus. Maybe you feel it, too? Are the walls closing in? Let’s figure this shit out.
We’re in isolation and creeping dread has set in. What’s next?
After this experience, I hope we all develop more compassion for prisoners, especially those in solitary. If you live alone, you can be quite safe from the coronavirus. However, isolation takes its own toll.
When you go to prison, you can go one of two ways: work out with heavy weights and get huge or sleep sixteen hours a day. As a chronic insomniac, I’ve found it quite easy to sleep lately. I especially enjoy those delicious afternoon naps. Nothing wrong with napping unless it’s a sign of depression stealing into your life. If it’s a retreat you need, I advocate for it. If you’re sleeping so much that it’s messing with your plans and relationships, you might want to reevaluate. I know I am.
Rob’s plan to shake off the funk:
Stay informed, not overwhelmed. Information is good. Tragedy tourism through the internet is harmful.
Structure. What’s the plan for the day? Set alarms. Do the Thing!
I try not to waste time obsessing about the things I can’t control.
My favorite playlist is called Deadly. It’s my “Get up and go beat ’em up workout music.” Better that than yet another podcast that beats me over the head with the same information over and over.
Move more. I don’t want to go near my doctor’s office for the next year if I can help it. Exercise is my new medical appointment and it has to happen daily.
Stop with the stress eating. More veggies, water, and less processed crap.
Stay connected with the social circle. Humans are social animals. Yes, even most introverts need some human interaction. Talking to yourself and to pets is okay but a little more feedback than an echo off the bare walls is nice.
Dance. Sing. Swear.
Acknowledge that striving for excellence doesn’t require perfection. Perfectionism is a form of self-loathing. We don’t have to teach our kids quantity surveying and particle physics just because they’re out of school.
We’re at a huge historical milestone. We will all remember this time. Maintain morale whenever possible. Make jokes. Share fun memes of dogs doing fun dog stuff.
Patience.
Kindness.
Distractions can helpful when they don’t fill the entire day. Sure, watch Netflix but don’t scroll through it aimlessly for hours.
Work on your hobbies, play some games.
Read those books you’ve been meaning to read. (If you’re reading mine and you like them, please review them. Thanks!)
Got clutter? You know what to do. Sure, it’s not necessarily fun but, like exercise, you’ll feel better and lighter afterward. Bonus: You’ll find that thing you thought you lost!
Reach out electronically. Call somebody you haven’t spoken to in a long time. Tell Dad you’re the one who put a dent in his car that time. It’s not like he can come over and take a swing at you. (Or tell him you love him. That’ll freak him out.)
You’re already washing your hands obsessively. Good! Don’t skip showering the rest of you each day, too.
Wash your clothes. You can’t get a haircut, but keep up appearances.
Helping others will help you.
Acknowledge that it’s okay to feel bad, to stress, to get mad. I will try to stick to these plans, but I will not beat myself up when I fail to hit a home run for every at-bat. Find the balance.
Watch out for binge drinking, binge eating, binge drugging etc. Get those harmful lures out of your home and get help if you need it.
I didn’t realize how much I depended on the routine of writing in a coffee shop until the coffee shop was no longer an option. My appointment with my laptop is every morning at 10 a.m.
Not all suggestions are for everyone all the time. Do what you can with what you have. Stay as safe as you can.
Check in with anyone you suspect may be at risk of self-harm or harm by others.
We are all doing hard time. If you need help, there are still resources available to you. If that’s you, please try to be brave for just one more minute and call a friend or an agency that will offer assistance. Contemplating self-harm? Google “International Suicide Hotline.” Suffering domestic violence? Get help here: https://www.domesticshelters.org/. Whatever your mental health issue, make the call. There is an organization filled with good people eager to support you. You are needed. Hold on!
If you are an essential worker who doesn’t have the option of isolating at home, you get to swear more than the rest of us. Godspeed and feel our love for you because you are a goddamn hero. We all salute and thank you. When we get through this, it will be a big party and you’ll be the guest of honor. Hold on!
Whoever and wherever you are, hold on.
(Got a suggestion of your own? Please, add them in the comments.)
Use your alarm clock but not in the way you’re thinking.
Set a bedtime, just like when you were a kid. Make it the same time every night and make it early enough that you get more time in bed to sleep.
Set your alarm to tell you when to get ready for bed.
When the alarm goes off, go to bed.
If you set your bedtime early enough, you won’t need your alarm clock to wake you up. Waking up to an alarm is a terrible way to wake up anyway! Who ever thought that was a great idea? Unless you’re a firefighter, waking up to an alarm makes no sense.
~ Robert Chute writes visionary science fiction, apocalyptic epics and violent crime thrillers. When he’s not doing that, he’s a biomechanic who helps people with stress and pain management. Check out his weekly podcast to help with your life management issues.
