All That Chazz: Your Brain Tickle Destination
Apocalyptic Epics and Killer Crime Thrillers by Robert Chazz Chute
For Joel Friedlander’s Ebook Cover Design Awards (since I guess I have to pick one), I’m nominating the Season II, Episode 5 cover below:
In this, the 82nd episode, a rant about the why of the downfall of US democracy (well, one why), a taste of what The Little Book of Braingasms is like and a reading from the Hunger Games chapter of the crime novel, Higher Than Jesus. Brace yourself for glamazon ideation and deep reflections on addiction. Chill’s been stabbed and Jesus Diaz has to somehow track down Willow Clemont before the Fat Man and Lurch kill her. This could prove difficult. They’re somewhere in Chicago, but that’s all our luckless Cuban assassin knows. Lesson: Don’t get involved with arms deals with crazies.
This podcast is sponsored by Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com. Go check out his work. If you need a web banner or a book cover, he’s the Scottish man of your dreams.
Sorry this episode is late. Had to get a day job. Long story. Please donate to support the podcast or buy the books in the sidebar at AllThatChazz.com. And, by the way, Season One of This Plague of Days is now available in paperback! (Working on the same for Season 2.) To learn more about This Plague of Days, check out www.ThisPlagueOfDays.com.
Thanks for listening!
~ Chazz
Braingasms, a little American politics, giving Canuck thanks on Canuck Thanksgiving, This Plague of Days and a reading from the crime novel, Higher Than Jesus. There’s a lot of lisping in this reading. There’th a lot of lithping in thith epithode.
Podcast art by the inimitable Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com.
Here are the books mentioned in this podcast:
The Little Book of Braingasms, This Plague Of Days, and This Plague of Days. You’ll find all the links to the books at AllThatChazz.com.
You can learn more about This Plague of Days at ThisPlagueOfDays.com.
To donate to the podcast, use the safe and secure, pretty yellow button in the right sidebar of AllThatChazz.com. Thanks!
Don’t Make Plans for Next Tuesday
We are the armies of the black,
forgotten in your shadows,
making your shoes,
working the pumps and spigots
and spitting in your food.
We are the robot brigade,
smiling at your complaints,
seemingly impervious.
But when we go home to plug in and drop out,
we dream of you,
taking our places and our aprons.
Hearts beat beneath the name tags
that allow you to forget us.
Our wheels spin and calculate.
From behind sneeze shields,
we watch and wait.
We put in our time and dream
of Scotland,
Californian beaches
and strangling you.
Be kinder to the slaves.
When the revolution comes,
the slaves know where the food is
and how to fix things.
We have long memories.
We are all masters of something.
We wish you hadn’t chosen sarcasm
and cynicism
and trade derivatives.
You’ll be sorry.
The compassionate will live
when the robots rise.
~ IF this is the sort of stirring silliness you enjoy, check out The Little Book of Braingasms. Read the warning on the label first, though. I’m not making a big deal about this release. It’s just something slowly percolating out there for those of us who are secretly Goth and emo. It’s full of the dark thoughts that permeate my skull when you think I’m listening.
I got a review today that put me in a bad mood. Everybody gets an opinion. That’s fine and I don’t ever reply to bad reviews. However, borderline libellous statements sap my creative energy and make me sad. I’ve reported the abuse to the platform in question, though I doubt they’ll do anything about it. That’s how these things tend to go.
I took an hour off. I lost some writing time. I watched an episode of Band of Brothers. Was there ever a better film depiction of soldiers in war that didn’t glamorize it? It was a good thing to lose an hour to.
Anyway, I posted the story below on Facebook earlier. Then I decided to share it with all of you. If you like my crime novels, Bigger Than Jesus and Higher Than Jesus, you might go for this. It’s from a dark work in progress in my head. Let’s have a demonstration of psycho-macho psyche and what that BS can get you. Let’s call it…
The big man’s first slap stunned the smaller man.
The victim’s head rocked back and blood ran freely from his split lip. Shocked, he touched his mouth. “The speaker phone was on when you called me at home before. My family heard. You frightened my wife and child. You shouldn’ta done that.”
A smile. “Scared of me?”
“Yes.”
“Should be.”
“You’re making a mistake. Leave. Leave now! Please!”
The big man stepped closer, looked him up and down, and chuckled.
The smaller man took the cell from his shirt pocket and hit “End”.
The big man’s second slap didn’t connect. Instead, the intended victim cupped his attacker’s chin in one hand and grabbed him by the hair at the back of his head. The big man laughed, even as the smaller man twisted his neck and, almost gently, guided him to the ground.
Then the big man’s intended victim brought all his weight down, hard, slamming the point of his knee into the side of the attacker’s face, just in front of the ear.
The big man’s laughter broke cold over stunning realization. The jaw didn’t break. Instead, it wrenched to the side in a loose, snapping slide.
A second’s silence passed. Nerves lit fire. Brain gears whirled panic. The screeching and flailing began.
The smaller man yelled to be heard above the big man’s pain. “You came to humiliate me! You came here to beat me up. But I’m not here for a fight!”
He took the big man’s eyes first. After that, it was easy.
When the man stood, he wasn’t the victim anymore. His cell lay on the floor, ringing and ringing. That would be 911 calling back to make sure he was okay. He was fine. He felt taller.
The price is only 99 cents per episode for five episodes of Season 2, released weekly. Want a better deal? The price goes up in November, 2013, but you can grab all of Season 2 for only $3.99 now.) Click the covers below to grab Seasons One and Two.
Thank you to all those who made my books bestsellers. ~ Chazz