Tag Archives: higher than jesus

The Hit Man Edition (plus blowing up in Hollywood!)

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Chazz is back! And so is the hit man! That can’t be a coincidence. Anybody seen these two guys in the same room at once?

Today we continue with the author reading of Higher Than Jesus. Meanwhile, the third book in the Hit Man Series is suddenly available. Don’t know what I’m talking about? It’s the funny/hardboiled adventure with my luckless Cuban anti-hero, Jesus Diaz. Come for the action and surprises. Stay for the jokes.

Good news! All three books are also now available in one ebook edition: The Divine Assassin’s Playbook, Omnibus Edition! Read all three crime novels — Bigger Than Jesus, Higher Than Jesus, and the latest, Hollywood Jesus — for one low price.

Check out all the books by Robert Chazz Chute at AllThatChazz.com. Talk to the Divine Assassin directly on Twitter @AssassinsPlayBk.

Hire our sponsor and amazing graphic design genius, Kit Foster, at KitFosterDesign.com.

Deader Than Jesus: The Hit Man Movie

I’m working on the last draft of the next instalment of the Hit Man Series, Deader Than Jesus. My luckless Cuban assassin has big plans for tonight. Here’s an excerpt from today’s revisions… 

Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, the character of the clever hit man will be played by Jesus Diaz. The actor’s motivation will be supplied by his lost childhood and tortured fool’s soul.

Take a deep breath. Step closer to the mirror. Look into your eyes and try to find the man behind the scary luchadore mask. What happens tonight shouldn’t be narrated by Morgan Freeman. Tough guy voice over work for tonight’s adventure should be supplied by the cowboy in the Big Lebowksi, Sam Elliot. Or maybe Dennis Leary could put a funny, edgy spin on what’s about to unfold, like he does for those truck commercials.

Somebody really badass should play you. If John Leguizamo isn’t available, can Jason Statham play a short Cuban?

I think the book will be out in a month (or less.) Stay tuned, and be sure to read Bigger Than Jesus and Higher Than Jesus. You can jump in anywhere, but you’ll get the full flavor if you start at the beginning. Enjoy.

Night of the Hunter Edition

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In this episode, how to locate someone who doesn’t want to be found, how to make a bomb from scratch at the convenience store and a surprise ad for another podcast! It’s all in Night of the Hunter, a new chapter reading from Higher Than Jesus, the crime novel by your host, Robert Chazz Chute. Seriously, the pizza trick is going to worry you if you’re hiding out from anyone.

Sorry for the delays in putting out the All That Chazz podcast. I’ve been working on the finale to This Plague of Days and just finished the last major revision. This is the third book in the This Plague of Days series. The big compendium, This Plague of Days – The Complete Series and Season 3 (each sold separately) are coming out this spring. Yes, I know it’s spring already. Think late spring, so there’s still time to catch up on Season One and Two. You might even guess the secret hidden in the books, but it’s tricky and no one has guessed it yet.

If you don’t know anything about Season One and Two, you don’t know the charm of an autistic boy and his family facing the horrors of an apocalypse engineered by bio-terrorists. Sure, it’s a dystopian sci-fi saga now, but the first of the three plagues could begin for real…I don’t know…let’s say Tuesday afternoon around four in the afternoon.  

My point is, to find out more about my books of suspense, the affiliate links are at AllThatChazz.com. To find out more about the craziest zombie apocalypse ever, go to ThisPlagueOfDays.com

As ever, this podcast is sponsored by the most excellent graphic designer, Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com. He’s a good friend and does excellent work with book covers, web banners, ads and more, so do check out his wondrous portfolio of art. Very reasonable prices, too!

We have just a few chapters left with the reading of Higher Than Jesus. The the All That Chazz podcast will have a format change. (More on that later.)

In the meantime, check out my other podcast, the Cool People Podcast at CoolPeoplePodcast.com. A new guest in the coming week will talk about how her government banned her book! It’s a fascinating interview, but they’re all fascinating because my guests are all cool. I’ll be talking to many more cool guests on that podcast in coming weeks!

Thanks for listening to the podcast. Donations to keep the podcasts going are gratefully accepted through the safe and secure yellow donation button at AllThatChazz.com and CoolPeoplePodcast.com.

Have a great week!

#Podcast: From Dusk Till Dawn

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This is the podcast that asks, “How are you going to kill a thing like Lurch?” Brace yourself for a rant against today’s journalists by a journalist from yesterday. Then, an author reading from Higher Than Jesus by Robert Chazz Chute.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“That question has baffled experts.”

Episode 83 of the All That Chazz Podcast gets medieval, but first we begin with a rant against the media and the truth about New Jersey governor Chris Christie that no one would say (until now.) It has to do with fat and truth and fatheads standing under expensive haircuts.

In this chapter, From Dusk Till Dawn, funny and luckless Cuban hit man, Jesus Diaz, must find his love, Willow Clemont, before a couple of white supremacist terrorists kill her. My love of Tarantino is real. Most of the book’s chapters are from movies, old and new, noir and not noir. Enjoy.

This podcast is sponsored by the most excellent graphic designer, Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com. My opinions aren’t necessarily his, so don’t blame him. Just use his awesome services for book covers, web banners and advertising.

To donate to the podcast or buy a book, please go to Amazon through the affiliate links at www.AllThatChazz.com. Thanks for listening!

~ Chazz

 

#Podcast: The Hunger Games Edition

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In this, the 82nd episode, a rant about the why of the downfall of US democracy (well, one why), a taste of what The Little Book of Braingasms is like and a reading from the Hunger Games chapter of the crime novel, Higher Than Jesus. Brace yourself for glamazon ideation and deep reflections on addiction. Chill’s been stabbed and Jesus Diaz has to somehow track down Willow Clemont before the Fat Man and Lurch kill her. This could prove difficult. They’re somewhere in Chicago, but that’s all our luckless Cuban assassin knows. Lesson: Don’t get involved with arms deals with crazies.

This podcast is sponsored by Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com. Go check out his work. If you need a web banner or a book cover, he’s the Scottish man of your dreams.

Sorry this episode is late. Had to get a day job. Long story. Please donate to support the podcast or buy the books in the sidebar at AllThatChazz.com. And, by the way, Season One of This Plague of Days is now available in paperback! (Working on the same for Season 2.) To learn more about This Plague of Days, check out www.ThisPlagueOfDays.com.

Thanks for listening!

~ Chazz

#Podcast The Harder They Fall Edition

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Braingasms, a little American politics, giving Canuck thanks on Canuck Thanksgiving, This Plague of Days and a reading from the crime novel, Higher Than Jesus. There’s a lot of lisping in this reading. There’th a lot of lithping in thith epithode.

Podcast art by the inimitable Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com.

Here are the books mentioned in this podcast: 

The Little Book of Braingasms, This Plague Of Days, and This Plague of Days. You’ll find all the links to the books at AllThatChazz.com.

You can learn more about This Plague of Days at ThisPlagueOfDays.com.

To donate to the podcast, use the safe and secure, pretty yellow button in the right sidebar of AllThatChazz.com. Thanks!

A very short story. I like my stories like I like my women: dark and bitter.

I got a review today that put me in a bad mood. Everybody gets an opinion. That’s fine and I don’t ever reply to bad reviews. However, borderline libellous statements sap my creative energy and make me sad. I’ve reported the abuse to the platform in question, though I doubt they’ll do anything about it. That’s how these things tend to go.

I took an hour off. I lost some writing time. I watched an episode of Band of Brothers. Was there ever a better film depiction of soldiers in war that didn’t glamorize it? It was a good thing to lose an hour to. 
Anyway, I posted the story below on Facebook earlier. Then I decided to share it with all of you. If you like my crime novels, Bigger Than Jesus and Higher Than Jesus, you might go for this. It’s  from a dark work in progress in my head. Let’s have a demonstration of psycho-macho psyche and what that BS can get you. Let’s call it…

Fair play

The big man’s first slap stunned the smaller man. 

The victim’s head rocked back and blood ran freely from his split lip. Shocked, he touched his mouth. “The speaker phone was on when you called me at home before. My family heard. You frightened my wife and child. You shouldn’ta done that.”

A smile. “Scared of me?”

“Yes.”

“Should be.”

“You’re making a mistake. Leave. Leave now! Please!”

The big man stepped closer, looked him up and down, and chuckled.

The smaller man took the cell from his shirt pocket and hit “End”.

The big man’s second slap didn’t connect. Instead, the intended victim cupped his attacker’s chin in one hand and grabbed him by the hair at the back of his head. The big man laughed, even as the smaller man twisted his neck and, almost gently, guided him to the ground.

Then the big man’s intended victim brought all his weight down, hard, slamming the point of his knee into the side of the attacker’s face, just in front of the ear.

The big man’s laughter broke cold over stunning realization. The jaw didn’t break. Instead, it wrenched to the side in a loose, snapping slide.

A second’s silence passed. Nerves lit fire. Brain gears whirled panic. The screeching and flailing began.

The smaller man yelled to be heard above the big man’s pain. “You came to humiliate me! You came here to beat me up. But I’m not here for a fight!”

He took the big man’s eyes first. After that, it was easy. 

When the man stood, he wasn’t the victim anymore. His cell lay on the floor, ringing and ringing. That would be 911 calling back to make sure he was okay. He was fine. He felt taller.

#NSFW #Podcast: The Fugitive Edition

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Back with a vengeance and All That Chazz #81! Colonoscopies! Control issues! Plus a chapter reading from Higher Than Jesus. Be sure to get your copy of Season 2 of This Plague of Days. (Learn more about an autistic boy’s battle with the zombies at the end of the world at ThisPlagueOfDays.com. It’s NOT your average zombie story!) See all the books at all the (affiliate) links in the right sidebar at AllThatChazz.com.

This podcast is sponsored by Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com. Music is Movement Proposition and Steel Rods by Kevin McLeod of Incompetech.com

I’ve been working on books. I’ll continue working on books. However, I’m back to a regular weekly podcast schedule for All That Chazz. Sorry for my absence. Interested in hearing great interviews with cool people? Check out my guests on the Cool People Podcast at CoolPeoplePodcast.com.

 

Podcast: Get Shorty

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Jesus is trapped in the back of the God Eats Diner. He’s just killed two people and feels kind of bad  about it. Worse, he just realized he’s been working for a really bad guy. Oh, and did I mention the back door is guarded by the guy he almost beat to death and there’s no way out because the diner is on fire? Facing a fiery death, my funny, loveable and luckless hit man has a few last thoughts to share. He also has some tough choices about how to die. Coming to Chicago was a mistake.

About the title: I love Elmore Leonard, but today’s author reading is from Higher Than Jesus. The chapter is called “Get Shorty”. Except for the last two chapters, all the chapter titles in Higher Than Jesus are from old movies. I’m a big noir and neo-noir film buff, so that’s why.

Our sponsor is the incredible graphic designer: Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com. Check out his site, his awesome professional portfolio and his very reasonable prices.

Check out my interviews with cool people on the Cool People Podcast at CoolPeoplePodcast.com. (Next guest, Hugh Howey!)

Buy, read, love, and review This Plague of Days and learn more about the horror serial at www.ThisPlagueOfDays.com.

To support the podcasts, buy the books or hit the handy donate buttons at AllThatChazz.com or CoolPeoplePodcast.com. If that doesn’t work with your budget, please leave a happy review on iTunes to spread the word. Thank you!

~ Chazz

Podcast: In the Line of Fire

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In this episode, a review of World War Z attacks right after the quick and exciting new announcement: This Plague of Days by Robert Chazz Chute is launched! Then, “In the Line of Fire”, a new chapter reading of Higher Than Jesus (complete with sound effects!)

In the last instalment, Jesus Diaz was fresh from a coital conquest of the boss’s daughter. Then he got set up for murder. Poor Jesus! He’s so clever and loveable, yet such a luckless assassin. Pray for him. It’s going to get a lot worse for him before it gets better.

This podcast is sponsored by Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com.

If you like the podcast, please review it on iTunes. If you love it, please donate at the pretty yellow button in the right sidebar at AllThatChazz.com or CoolPeoplePodcast.com to help with the bandwidth charges. Thank you very much!

Best? Go buy, read, love and review all the books cha-cha-cha!

Thanks for listening!  

~ Chazz