Tag Archives: allthatchazz

Jerks, Near-Death, Time Travel and Alternate Reality

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This episode gets weird. From getting blessed by an angel to starting over, this is a monologue of strange experiences. I’m defeated by sunflower seeds, but I think I can figure out something about the universe in this journey from kissing a character from one of my books to finding peace for somebody who doesn’t deserve forgiveness. (I let him live! Isn’t that enough?)

There’s also The Big Decision: Get thin and healthy.
Formula: (Fat + protein) – (processed food, white food, non-food, bad carbs or sugar) + exercise.
How did I arrive at that decision? Sunlight and deciding I’m a thin person (all evidence to the contrary) and acting that way.

I’m continuing with the first author reading on Vine this week. It’s a funny short story from my book Self-help for Stoners. It’s about how to get away with murder and massive marijuana possession in Texas with a skunk and a smile.

Apologies: I won’t be reading the next instalment of Higher Than Jesus until the next episode of All That Chazz. (I’m not holding the book  hostage, but this episode went long and bandwidth fees are an issue. Um…I insist I’m not holding the crime novel hostage but if you want to help out with bandwidth fees, that would be great. Please click on the safe and secure yellow donate button at AllThatChazz.com or CoolPeoplePodcast.com.

To enter to win this crime novel in paperback, put your guess in the comments of this post. Closest wins.

Want to get in on the Vine contest and enter to win an autographed copy of Bigger Than Jesus? Check out the post directly below this one. 

Speaking of which, have you listened to the Cool People Podcast yet? Have a listen and if you like it, please leave a review on iTunes so more people can find us. (Same for the All That Chazz podcast, come to think of it + dang it!)

New websites: ThisPlagueofDays.com and onlysixseconds.wordpress.com. Check those out, too.

You guys can get me at expartepress AT gmail DOT com or @rchazzchute on Twitter. Say hello and share what you think of the podcast.

Podcast art: Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com.

Music for today’s podcast was Pop Goes the Weasel by Kevin MacLeod of Incompetech.com.

Thanks for listening! 

~Chazz

The Ticking Clock Edition

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Love for Michelle’s bangs, a review that’s the good kind of bad, an invitation to you to join the podcast and a reading of the second chapter of Higher Than Jesus, “The Ticking Clock”. The title makes sense now, doesn’t it?

Thanks to our sponsor, Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com, and to Kevin MacLeod of Incompetech.com for the music “Pop Goes the Weasel”. 

If you’re interested in being interviewed on the podcast, use Speakpipe (on the sidebar to the right) to leave a message with your contact information. You’ll need a USB microphone (not a built-in mic) on your end and for the show you have to be on Skype. Or email me at expartepress@gmail.com.

Thanks for listening!

PS Blooper at the end. It’s sad.

 

Podcast: The Christmas Apocalypse Edition

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In this pod, I cry: Murders Among Dead Trees (free ebook!), My Life as a Spy, Newtown, Bad Media and sex & violence in a reading called Another Narrow Escape.

Grab the ebook, Murders Among Dead Trees, before Friday Dec 21st at midnight and it’s free. If you love suspense and paranormal stories, please review the book. (See the link below to learn more about the book.)

Need graphics for your website, advertising, Quote Art or book cover? Go to our sponsor, the great Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com.

This is Episode #62. Episode #63 of the All That Chazz podcast appears in the new year. Thanks for listening, for your donations and for your kind emails. Especially, thanks for buying my books! Merry Christmas and see you in January, 2013! Happy New Year!

Take it!

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For more writing & publishing advice, buying Write your Book, Aspire to Inspire would also make your day and mine.

Yet another free ebook is given and the Romanian mob is at the gates. Find out what happens next as we come close to the end of the reading of the crime novel, Bigger Than Jesus by Robert Chazz Chute.

The next instalment in the hardboiled Hit Man Series is Higher Than Jesus. Read all the sex and violence by clicking on the book’s cover to the right.

About the free ebook: You can get Crack the Indie Author Code for free from Nov. 26 to Nov. 30, 2012. If you dream of writing and publishing, this is the book to get you started. Pick up the follow-up, Write Your Book: Aspire to Inspire (by clicking the cover as it appears to the right again! Oh, my Thor! Is there no end to this madness?!) 

This podcast is sponsored by Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com. For a new web banner, excellent Quote Art or book covers for traditional as well as indie authors, check out his portfolio at KitFosterDesign.com. You won’t regret it.

Just like the books, if you like the podcast, please review it on iTunes so more people can find me. You can find me @rchazzchute on Twitter. Thanks for listening to the show. Subscribe to the All That Chazz newsletter (also to the right! My stars and garters! Is there no end to his requests?!

 

Links-a-plenty: Kale shakes & getting healthier

 

Author Denise DeSio asked about kale shakes. (My buddy and graphic artist, Kit Foster, thinks I’m insane for drinking them and sent me the above graphic for a laugh.) I started a reply to Denise on ChazzWrites, but then my short answer got away from me. Here’s how I make my kale shakes for weight loss, mental acuity, health and a general feeling of awesomeness. (I’m not a doctor. I just remember what smart people say.)

First, the kale shakes: There are a lot of recipes out there, but I add at least a fistful of kale to a blender with a cup of water; add a small pear or two and a little coconut oil to a food processor or blender and set the speed to “liquefy to death”. The coconut oil adds healthy fat, is filling and sweet and increases absorption of fat-soluble vitamins. Put the kale and water in first for easier blending. If your blender sucks, get straws with an extra-large circumference intended for thick milkshakes.

My drinks vary. I add protein powder and a carrot (for colour and beta carotene) or an avocado (for texture). Some people call it juice fasting. I call my shakes “liquified salads” that allow me to eat more vegetables than I otherwise would. It’s much more convenient, filling and pleasant than doing my rabbit impression.

Some kale shakes are more aggressive in their nutritional payload and punch, and include cayenne pepper, ginger or garlic. Experiment to find the right mix of fruits and vegetables. Strawberries are sweet but don’t have too many calories if you don’t go too crazy. Bananas are sweet, but they add too much sugar to be helpful (high glycemic index). The more cruciferous vegetables, the better.

Watch the fun and inspirational documentary Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. If that appeals to you, you can join the movement and get more details at www.JointheReboot.com.

For variety, I’ll have almond milk as a coffee with a bit of baking cocoa. I start each day with coffee with ghee (or grass-fed butter) so I feel full longer and eat much less than I used to. All those healthy fats increase satiety so the number of calories consumed goes way down and, contrary to the low-fat diet mantra that’s failed us miserably, the right kinds of fats actually combat cardiovascular disease. Fat and portion control is the answer to what cardiologists refer to as the French Paradox (i.e. The French are healthier than North Americans yet consume more fat.) We aren’t what we eat. We are the lies we swallow.

For more on the joys of almond milk, veganism and the struggle to eat better, listen to my podcast discussion with Mark Young, the smartest and tallest vegan I know.  Mark’s blog is MondaysAreMeatless

I still eat meat, but less so. I’m more Paleo diet than vegan, though I’m eating less of everything and vegetables are the main focus. For instance, I used to eat more luggage when forced to wait in airport lounges. Small children weren’t safe.

For years people have been running away from coconut oil and avocado, but they’re full of good fats (omega 3s and 6s.) If coconut isn’t for you, consider neutral-tasting MCT oil for the healthy, medium-chain fatty acids. I avoid sugar whenever possible. I’ve begun to get away from Aspartame because, now that I’m not anaesthetizing myself to my psychic pain with simple carbs, I feel more sensitive to my reactions to foods and chemicals. I opt more for xylitol or stevia as sweeteners. (Too much xylitol and you’re in the bathroom, jetting for lift-off.)

I also feel much sharper mentally now that I’m riding the green train. White bread, white rice, simple carbs and processed foods make me sleepy (when they don’t leave me hungrier.) You know you’re getting older when a couple of slices of Wonder Bread put you in a coma. I’ve eliminated pop. I exercise more and I’m sleeping better. Though I use a treadmill desk, writers are still so damn sedentary there’s really no choice but to move more if we hope to live long enough to see our books published. We have to take care of ourselves. I’m thinking of hiring a big guy to chase me.

The diet alterations are working for me. I started out with a kale shake a day and have graduated to two or even three instead of canned and processed crap. Grocery shopping is cheaper and takes much less time now because I buy leaves at farmers’ markets. (“Ooh, kale!” I say. “That would taste good chopped into a molecular paste with garlic and a half a cup of blueberries!”

For more on Upgraded Coffee and surprising brain and body hacks, check out BulletproofExec.com.

The Ultimate Liar

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Creepy and dramatic events unfold! Some mysteries from Bigger Than Jesus are opened up. We finally discover Jesus’s full name, what childhood trauma he endured, how he escaped Miami for Havana on the Hudson and with whom. 

The All That Chazz podcast is sponsored by Kit Foster of Kit Foster Design.com. Want to spruce up your website or picture, get Quote Art, or get a book cover designed? Kit’s a great guy to work with and does a fantastic job at very reasonable rates.

For more about books of suspense by Robert Chazz Chute, click the “Where can I buy your books?” tab. Five more books from Ex Parte Press, both fiction and non-fiction, will be released very soon, including the sexy thriller Higher Than Jesus, the next book in The Hit Man Series.

Thanks for listening! New episode and lots of news next week!

Space Vegans vs. Stephen Hawking

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I make Chuck Norris cry with special guest, writer Mark Young. We talk books, vegans from space, politics and I crap on Papa Hemingway. We also question Stephen Hawking’s peculiar brand of robot genius.

In this, the 50th episode of the podcast, we’re doing something a little different. I finally stop monologuing and talk with an actual human being. I know! Weird!  The name of the podcast is now All That Chazz. Don’t worry, all will be explained in my longest podcast ever. This episode is totally uncircumcised. We just let the recording go and had a lot of fun. 

Click the book links at AllThatChazz.com to grab some fine suspenseful literature now in case the apocalypse comes early. More books are on the way soon. If you tuned in to find out what happens to my hit man, Jesus Diaz, we’re into the next chapter of Bigger Than Jesus in the next show.

This podcast is sponsored by KitFosterDesign.com. Mark Young’s blog is http://mondaysaremeatless.blogspot.ca.

Podcast: Bigger Than Jesus, Chapter 2

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Enjoy some crime fiction. Chapter 2 of Bigger Than Jesus: The Key by Robert Chazz Chute. 

Last week, we heard Come to Jesus, Chapter 1 of Bigger Than Jesus. Hit man Jesus Diaz found himself on a high ledge trying to kill Panama Bob on Jimmy Lima’s orders. Then Bob offered a key to a storage locker that holds a fortune. Then things get complicated.

Grab the whole story as an ebook here.

The print version of Bigger Than Jesus will be available soon. 

The next instalment in The Hit Man Series, Higher Than Jesus, will be available this fall. 

PODCAST: Storm Trooper on a Unicycle Edition

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Harassing old ladies, seeing things and disputing false copyright infringement claims.

Get your book, business or podcast mentioned for a donation. Or better yet, buy my books! Email me at expartepress@gmail.com or leave a comment below if you’d like to say hello. Okay, commercial’s over.

This podcast punches reality in the pills with the heavy boot of nonsense and conscience Tuesdays and Fridays. If you like it, please give a happy review on iTunes so I don’t stay a secret. Your review will break that old witch’s curse and I can be a man instead of this wretch you see before you!

Thanks for listening.

UPDATE: I talk about getting a nasty notice from YouTube for my video AllThatChazz.com. A couple of hours after releasing the latest podcast, I received an email from YouTube alerting me that the company erroneously claiming I infringed on their copyrighted material has released that claim. You’re damn skippy, they did! Justice prevails.

PODCAST: The Big Fat Failure Edition

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Regrets? I’ve had a few. Let’s aim higher and squirrel some inspiration out of the most melancholic edition of the podcast yet.

Support Indies Unite for Joshua. Only a few days left.

This podcast punches you in the brain gently Tuesdays and Fridays with topical news, comedy, commentary (occasional thoughtful mourning like today’s show) and coming soon, Fiction Fridays! Soon I’ll be podcasting my new crime novel. In the meantime, stick around as I worm into your ears with my peculiar brand of whimsy.

Please support the podcast with a happy review, donate by clicking the yellow donate button by the show notes or go for a sponsorship and get your book, business or podcast advertised on iTunes and Stitcher. Email me at expartepress@gmail.com about that, as long as you aren’t a crazy person.

Are you joining Stitcher for the free and easy streaming of podcasts? Good choice. Use the promo code SELFHELPSTONERS and you’ll be entered for a draw of a $100 cash card, too.

Lots more is coming. Brace yourself.