Tag Archives: hardboiled

The fastest paced thriller I’ve ever written arrives soon.

Hollywood Jesus

You can read Hollywood Jesus as a standalone thriller beginning October 1, or read the series from the beginning, in the The Divine Assassin’s Playbook, Omnibus Edition.

FYI: The Omnibus will contains the first three books: Bigger Than Jesus, Higher Than Jesus and Hollywood Jesus and will launch at the same time.

The next book in the Hit Man Series is…

The third book in the Hit Man Series, Hollywood Jesus is almost here.

The editorial pipeline is full and humming with hardboiled activity.

Hearing happy things from beta readers. (Much thanks to the Steel Falcon Beta Read Team!) Aiming for launch October 1 for Hollywood Jesus, Rise of the Divine Assassin. It’s fun, funny, violent, poignant and violently funny. (I’d planned on calling it Deader Than Jesus. Then I decided to hurry up with the rebrand of the series.) Here’s what the cover will look like.

Cover blurb supplied by Hit Man fan and horror multitalented author Armand Rosamilia.

HJ COVER FINAL LADY IN REDFind Jesus on Amazon October 1, 2014.

#Podcast: From Dusk Till Dawn

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This is the podcast that asks, “How are you going to kill a thing like Lurch?” Brace yourself for a rant against today’s journalists by a journalist from yesterday. Then, an author reading from Higher Than Jesus by Robert Chazz Chute.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“That question has baffled experts.”

Episode 83 of the All That Chazz Podcast gets medieval, but first we begin with a rant against the media and the truth about New Jersey governor Chris Christie that no one would say (until now.) It has to do with fat and truth and fatheads standing under expensive haircuts.

In this chapter, From Dusk Till Dawn, funny and luckless Cuban hit man, Jesus Diaz, must find his love, Willow Clemont, before a couple of white supremacist terrorists kill her. My love of Tarantino is real. Most of the book’s chapters are from movies, old and new, noir and not noir. Enjoy.

This podcast is sponsored by the most excellent graphic designer, Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com. My opinions aren’t necessarily his, so don’t blame him. Just use his awesome services for book covers, web banners and advertising.

To donate to the podcast or buy a book, please go to Amazon through the affiliate links at www.AllThatChazz.com. Thanks for listening!

~ Chazz

 

#Podcast: Some Like It Hot

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Back with a vengeance, I talk about how an energy vampire sapped my creativity and hurt my widdle baby feelings. I worked through it, got back on track and now things are going pretty dang swimmingly. If you want to give the therapy talk a miss, go to about 32 minutes in for the author reading.

Yes, at last and finally, a new reading from Higher Than Jesus, my crime novel. The chapter is Some Like It Hot. Go to AllThatChazz.com if you’d like to read the book for yourself. From AllThatChazz.com, you can get it from Amazon as an ebook or a paperback. Nifty! You can also donate to the podcast using the little yellow button at AllThatChazz.com and go to CoolPeoplePodcast.com for my interviews with actors, authors, directors, musicians and more. It’s an audio buffet.

Today’s sponsor is KitFosterDesign.com. Kit Foster is my graphic designer. Check out all his portfolio. He doesn’t just do awesome digital and print covers. He can also design beautiful artwork for your podcast, web banners and advertising. He works with all sorts and he’s the nicest guy in the world. Very reasonable prices, too. Tell him Chazz sent you.

Sorry about the hiatus,folks! Aside from the energy vampire, I also am having some trouble adjusting to running two business at the same time. Life is struggle but I’ll get my time management straightened out. Expect a new podcast soon.

To find out more about me and my horror serial, This Plague of Days, check out www.ThisPlagueOfDays.com. If you’re a writer, go to www.ChazzWrites.com.

Cheers and beers, everybody!

~ Chazz

Podcast: Get Shorty

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Jesus is trapped in the back of the God Eats Diner. He’s just killed two people and feels kind of bad  about it. Worse, he just realized he’s been working for a really bad guy. Oh, and did I mention the back door is guarded by the guy he almost beat to death and there’s no way out because the diner is on fire? Facing a fiery death, my funny, loveable and luckless hit man has a few last thoughts to share. He also has some tough choices about how to die. Coming to Chicago was a mistake.

About the title: I love Elmore Leonard, but today’s author reading is from Higher Than Jesus. The chapter is called “Get Shorty”. Except for the last two chapters, all the chapter titles in Higher Than Jesus are from old movies. I’m a big noir and neo-noir film buff, so that’s why.

Our sponsor is the incredible graphic designer: Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com. Check out his site, his awesome professional portfolio and his very reasonable prices.

Check out my interviews with cool people on the Cool People Podcast at CoolPeoplePodcast.com. (Next guest, Hugh Howey!)

Buy, read, love, and review This Plague of Days and learn more about the horror serial at www.ThisPlagueOfDays.com.

To support the podcasts, buy the books or hit the handy donate buttons at AllThatChazz.com or CoolPeoplePodcast.com. If that doesn’t work with your budget, please leave a happy review on iTunes to spread the word. Thank you!

~ Chazz

Podcast: In the Line of Fire

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In this episode, a review of World War Z attacks right after the quick and exciting new announcement: This Plague of Days by Robert Chazz Chute is launched! Then, “In the Line of Fire”, a new chapter reading of Higher Than Jesus (complete with sound effects!)

In the last instalment, Jesus Diaz was fresh from a coital conquest of the boss’s daughter. Then he got set up for murder. Poor Jesus! He’s so clever and loveable, yet such a luckless assassin. Pray for him. It’s going to get a lot worse for him before it gets better.

This podcast is sponsored by Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com.

If you like the podcast, please review it on iTunes. If you love it, please donate at the pretty yellow button in the right sidebar at AllThatChazz.com or CoolPeoplePodcast.com to help with the bandwidth charges. Thank you very much!

Best? Go buy, read, love and review all the books cha-cha-cha!

Thanks for listening!  

~ Chazz

 

 

Podcast: A Kiss Before Dying

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I miss America. It was awesome. However, with the plague coming, it was going down anyway. This Plague of Days, my world flu pandemic/autistic/zombie apocalypse horror serial will be released soon.

(Check out ThisPlagueOfDays.com for sneak peaks and to find out more.)

Meanwhile, in this episode of All That Chazz, I read another chapter from my crime novel, Higher Than Jesus.

The Story So Far

Higher than Jesus Final NEW copy 2Cuban assassin-for-hire Jesus Diaz has come to Chicago to escape all the trouble he started up with New York’s Spanish mob (as told in Bigger Than Jesus). After killing a bad guy on Christmas day, he finds himself in the middle of an arms deal going terribly wrong. Two groups: a gang called the Victorious and a group of religious nuts called the Recipients are vying for the same arms shipment. Diaz has fallen for his new boss’s beautiful daughter, Willow Clemont. Chill, the bodyguard has to keep Willow safe while Jesus deal with the bad guys. Last week’s episode got sexy. Things are about to get hotter, but not in a happy way.

For all the links to all the books, go to AllThatChazz.com and click the Shop tab.

Photo on 12-12-05 at 4.33 PMThis podcast is sponsored in part by Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com. Music today was Mechanolith and What You Want #2, both supplied by Kevin MacLeod of Incompetech.com.

If you love the show, feel free to donate to help me with the bandwidth costs, buy the books or leave a happy review in iTunes to help more people find me. Thanks! I appreciate the help and I appreciate you!

Cheers!

Chazz

Armor of God

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I go on the attack against Maury “He ain’t yo baby daddy” Povich and Dr. “Down home wise ass remarks” Phil. Also, a quick update on projects, including This Plague of Days and Cool People Podcast.

Higher than Jesus Final NEW copy 2Then we delve into the world of my Cuban assassin and all he’s dealing with in the chapter Armor of God, my latest reading from my crime novel, Higher Than Jesus. Jesus Diaz is caught in the middle of an arms deal and in the crosshairs of Aryans and Chicago street gang. While tragic childhood memories begin to surface, Jesus really just wants to get Willow Clemont in the sack. And who can blame him? She’s a long, blonde glamazon.

This podcast is sponsored by the inimitable and incomparable graphic artist, Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com

See the links for all my books at AllThatChazz.com.

Trying to lose weight? Check out my new blog, DecisionToChange.com

Lots going on, but I’ll do a quick follow-up podcast in the next few days with another reading from Higher Than Jesus (and we’re coming up on the lethally sexy chapter)!

Please be sure to subscribe to the podcast. If you love it, please leave a review, donate to the podcast to help with bandwidth, buy a book, pet a puppy and follow me on Twitter @rchazzchute. Something in there would be good, so do them all. Cheers!

Thanks for listening!

~ Chazz

Three Dreams

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Be a genius for two minutes a day, deal with life and death, face the existential abyss and hear a fresh reading of the chapter “Our Man in Havana” from the fun crime novel, Higher Than Jesus by Robert Chazz Chute.

At 4:57 Dreams bleed into real life in a terrifying way and I’m scared.

11:20 Dreaming to aspire to inspire and trying to find something happy in the darkness.

20:45 Getting back in the groove and getting groovy.

21:21 The Our Man in Havana reading from Higher Than Jesus by Robert Chazz Chute

At 39:00 Check out www.ThisPlagueOfDays.com for a great article on emergency preparedness and BOBs (Bug Out Bags) by author Jordanna East. Then it’s Plugapalooza for www.DecisionToChange.com and www.CoolPeoplePodcast.com. 

Update

I used the Cool People Podcast graphic for this episode of All that Chazz! Darn! Oh, well. I’ll leave it as cross-promotion for www.CoolPeoplePodcast.com. Problem solved! Also, this is episode 76 of the podcast, not #75. This headache has taken over my brain. 

Be my hero

Chazz ComicPlease help me out with the podcast costs and keep it going by donating to the podcast using the pretty and equally secure little yellow buttons at AllThatChazz.com or CoolPeoplePodcast.com. If you can’t do that, please leave a happy review on iTunes. Thanks! 

Podcast art by the great Kit Foster of www.KitFosterDesign.com. Music was The Mechanolith by Kevin MacLeod of Incompetech.com. 

The Grinding Gears Edition

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I refuse one billion dollars from Yoda! General chaos, rabid dogs and the sequester grind my gears as I do battle with Stitcher. I announce my new podcast, Cool People Podcast and give you a sneak peek (or should that be a sneak “hear”? That sounds weird. Go to CoolPeoplePodcast.com to hear the first episode with horror author and zombie-loving Armand Rosamilia.) Also on the show, a medical update of terror, special thank yous and (two, count ‘em, TWO!) new chapters from the crime novel of comedy, sex and violence, Higher Than Jesus. If you’re offended by the last line of the chapter “Rope”, get your Lutheran grandma to listen to it. Lutheran Grandma’s okay with vulgar jokes, right?

Shout out to new newsletter subscriber: Karen Banes of ChangetheWorldwithWords.com.

Much love to Dave Jackson from SchoolofPodcasting.com and our sponsor, Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com.

Chapter 8 of Higher Than Jesus, “Rope” begins like this:

After locking the door, you find Samuel Clemont making a fish patty for himself in the kitchen. The counters and stoves are built shorter so he can reach everything. You feel taller. Then your shoulders sag when you consider that Willow sees you the way you see this Oompa Loompa kitchen. 

Clemont scrapes the burnt fish patty off the grill with a blackened spatula and dumps it on a stiff bun beside a pile of french fries on a chipped plate. “Shoulda set up shop in New Orleans. You burn your food in the Big Easy, you just call it Cajun and nobody complains. Just add hot sauce.” He bites into his sandwich and grimaces. “I grew up in Maine, so I hate fish. Ate too much of it when I was a kid. Sick of it. Still, this halibut is about to turn. Might as well eat the profits. Still better than most food I ever had as a grunt.” 

“Is the Marines where you learned to cook?”

His laugh has a cutting edge. “Hell, no!” He drops the fish sandwich back on the plate. “Though, that would explain a lot.” 

While Clemont focuses on the fries, you look around. The M4 Carbine is propped against the wall in a corner beside a table with a box of rounds. Clemont snaps his ketchup-stained fingers and waves you over to a stool by the counter.  “I talked to Paulie again. He said you’d come.”

“It sounds like you’ve got much bigger problems than Willow’s drug dealer.”

“I thought Gillie could take care of these guys. Apparently, I was misinformed, so I guess people can change. Should have seen what he did back in the day. Gillie’s still bad ass, but inflexible about what else I need done. Since you’ve already shot Willow’s supplier, I guess you’re up. You pass the test. You can help me with the Lone Wolf and his sidekick.”

“Maybe Gillie’s got the right idea — ” … Hear the rest of the chapter or grab the all the books from the links at AllThatChazz.com.

Thanks for listening! If you like the show, please leave a happy review on iTunes.

Cheers!

~ Chazz