Tag Archives: ebooks

#Podcast The Harder They Fall Edition

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Braingasms, a little American politics, giving Canuck thanks on Canuck Thanksgiving, This Plague of Days and a reading from the crime novel, Higher Than Jesus. There’s a lot of lisping in this reading. There’th a lot of lithping in thith epithode.

Podcast art by the inimitable Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com.

Here are the books mentioned in this podcast: 

The Little Book of Braingasms, This Plague Of Days, and This Plague of Days. You’ll find all the links to the books at AllThatChazz.com.

You can learn more about This Plague of Days at ThisPlagueOfDays.com.

To donate to the podcast, use the safe and secure, pretty yellow button in the right sidebar of AllThatChazz.com. Thanks!

A very short story. I like my stories like I like my women: dark and bitter.

I got a review today that put me in a bad mood. Everybody gets an opinion. That’s fine and I don’t ever reply to bad reviews. However, borderline libellous statements sap my creative energy and make me sad. I’ve reported the abuse to the platform in question, though I doubt they’ll do anything about it. That’s how these things tend to go.

I took an hour off. I lost some writing time. I watched an episode of Band of Brothers. Was there ever a better film depiction of soldiers in war that didn’t glamorize it? It was a good thing to lose an hour to. 
Anyway, I posted the story below on Facebook earlier. Then I decided to share it with all of you. If you like my crime novels, Bigger Than Jesus and Higher Than Jesus, you might go for this. It’s  from a dark work in progress in my head. Let’s have a demonstration of psycho-macho psyche and what that BS can get you. Let’s call it…

Fair play

The big man’s first slap stunned the smaller man. 

The victim’s head rocked back and blood ran freely from his split lip. Shocked, he touched his mouth. “The speaker phone was on when you called me at home before. My family heard. You frightened my wife and child. You shouldn’ta done that.”

A smile. “Scared of me?”

“Yes.”

“Should be.”

“You’re making a mistake. Leave. Leave now! Please!”

The big man stepped closer, looked him up and down, and chuckled.

The smaller man took the cell from his shirt pocket and hit “End”.

The big man’s second slap didn’t connect. Instead, the intended victim cupped his attacker’s chin in one hand and grabbed him by the hair at the back of his head. The big man laughed, even as the smaller man twisted his neck and, almost gently, guided him to the ground.

Then the big man’s intended victim brought all his weight down, hard, slamming the point of his knee into the side of the attacker’s face, just in front of the ear.

The big man’s laughter broke cold over stunning realization. The jaw didn’t break. Instead, it wrenched to the side in a loose, snapping slide.

A second’s silence passed. Nerves lit fire. Brain gears whirled panic. The screeching and flailing began.

The smaller man yelled to be heard above the big man’s pain. “You came to humiliate me! You came here to beat me up. But I’m not here for a fight!”

He took the big man’s eyes first. After that, it was easy. 

When the man stood, he wasn’t the victim anymore. His cell lay on the floor, ringing and ringing. That would be 911 calling back to make sure he was okay. He was fine. He felt taller.

Horror’s Exploration: A gentle invitation to my Plague of Days

Dark halfI  think a lot about you and I

taking up residence in Nowhere’s Middle.

I think how comfortable you are.

I want to make you uncomfortable but 

you’ll forgive me. Probably.

Discomfort is the trip explorers pay for.

I want to drag you into the darkness

and shine a light

on the secrets you keep from yourself.

My stories are about your secrets.

I probe your doubts with my tongue.

I prick your fears with a million little needles 

disguised as words.

My mission is to crawl inside your mind

to rearrange the furniture

to peer in cupboards

to reach into the rear of the junk drawer.

I dig behind bedroom walls.

I pry out dirty little truths

with sweet lies.

I write on your nerves. 

You read on the edge of your seat.

Not everyone who deserves to die

will be killed.

Photo1 Few among those you love will survive.

We’ll explore the cobwebbed basement together.

Brace yourself. There’s no armour over your heart where we’re going.

Once you think you’re ready,

see the world as I spin it.

Let’s take a trip into the Deceptive Familiar

at the sharp Edge of Nowhere

where heroes and villains 

trade black and white hats

for fun and profit and meaning.

We’ll find dreams and treasures

amid the foundation’s ruins

and Ruin’s foundation.

Take my hand at the top of the stairs.

Let’s descend together.

It’s the only way to see everything

and escape the tangled net of secrets

you keep in a three-pound box of bone. 

Podcast: Get Shorty

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Jesus is trapped in the back of the God Eats Diner. He’s just killed two people and feels kind of bad  about it. Worse, he just realized he’s been working for a really bad guy. Oh, and did I mention the back door is guarded by the guy he almost beat to death and there’s no way out because the diner is on fire? Facing a fiery death, my funny, loveable and luckless hit man has a few last thoughts to share. He also has some tough choices about how to die. Coming to Chicago was a mistake.

About the title: I love Elmore Leonard, but today’s author reading is from Higher Than Jesus. The chapter is called “Get Shorty”. Except for the last two chapters, all the chapter titles in Higher Than Jesus are from old movies. I’m a big noir and neo-noir film buff, so that’s why.

Our sponsor is the incredible graphic designer: Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com. Check out his site, his awesome professional portfolio and his very reasonable prices.

Check out my interviews with cool people on the Cool People Podcast at CoolPeoplePodcast.com. (Next guest, Hugh Howey!)

Buy, read, love, and review This Plague of Days and learn more about the horror serial at www.ThisPlagueOfDays.com.

To support the podcasts, buy the books or hit the handy donate buttons at AllThatChazz.com or CoolPeoplePodcast.com. If that doesn’t work with your budget, please leave a happy review on iTunes to spread the word. Thank you!

~ Chazz

The One That Gets Sexy

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Jesus Diaz hits it in Chicago!

In today’s podcast, a short rant about how the hive mind is out to control our thoughts (and how to escape your slavery to the mortal bonds of flesh). Also, the long-awaited erotic adventure kicks in right after a couple of fights to the death as I read the next chapter of my crime novel Higher Than Jesus. The chapter is  Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. It’s rad and you’ll love it even more if you catch the backstory and set up from the first in the series, Bigger Than Jesus.

Photo on 12-12-05 at 4.33 PMYou can read the rant and get sneak peeks of my new horror serial This Plague of Days at ThisPlagueofDays.com. (releasing soon!) 

More Chazz:

Cool+People+Podcast+FinalI appear on the Inverse Delirium podcast in a comedy sketch and you can hear me interact with another human being on the Cool People Podcast or see us on YouTube on the Robert Chazz Chute Channel.

This podcast is sponsored by my most excellent graphic designer, Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com. The opening music bed is Mistake the Getaway #2 by Kevin MacLeod of Incompetech.com.

Love the show? Please donate to keep us growing or leave a happy review on iTunes to keep us going. Thanks! You can find all the links to all my books at AllThatChazz.com.

Thanks for listening. Spread the word.

~ Chazz

 

 

S I X S E C O N D S

Click it to grab it

Click it to grab it!

 

 

I wrote a book about how to use the Vine App! 

To make better vines (quick videos), go viral and, get creative and spread your word, read this book about Vine.

NEW UPDATES on my blog: OnlySixSeconds.

 

Three Dreams

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Be a genius for two minutes a day, deal with life and death, face the existential abyss and hear a fresh reading of the chapter “Our Man in Havana” from the fun crime novel, Higher Than Jesus by Robert Chazz Chute.

At 4:57 Dreams bleed into real life in a terrifying way and I’m scared.

11:20 Dreaming to aspire to inspire and trying to find something happy in the darkness.

20:45 Getting back in the groove and getting groovy.

21:21 The Our Man in Havana reading from Higher Than Jesus by Robert Chazz Chute

At 39:00 Check out www.ThisPlagueOfDays.com for a great article on emergency preparedness and BOBs (Bug Out Bags) by author Jordanna East. Then it’s Plugapalooza for www.DecisionToChange.com and www.CoolPeoplePodcast.com. 

Update

I used the Cool People Podcast graphic for this episode of All that Chazz! Darn! Oh, well. I’ll leave it as cross-promotion for www.CoolPeoplePodcast.com. Problem solved! Also, this is episode 76 of the podcast, not #75. This headache has taken over my brain. 

Be my hero

Chazz ComicPlease help me out with the podcast costs and keep it going by donating to the podcast using the pretty and equally secure little yellow buttons at AllThatChazz.com or CoolPeoplePodcast.com. If you can’t do that, please leave a happy review on iTunes. Thanks! 

Podcast art by the great Kit Foster of www.KitFosterDesign.com. Music was The Mechanolith by Kevin MacLeod of Incompetech.com.