I am not puddin’. I am a jungle cat.

McDonalds used to have crap coffee. It tasted so bad, I thought it was a mistake. Then I tried it again and it tasted just as bad. Then they wanted to compete with Tim Hortons and Starbucks and improved. On my next try, I thought the McDonalds’ coffee wasn’t bad (and it was all I’d consume there.) However, after drinking it, I’d always feel awful and sleepy soon after. I found out why: It’s the mold we’re drinking in cheap coffee.

As a writer, I’m incredibly sedentary. I’m drinking, and chewing, kale shakes with some positive results to combat becoming puddin’. When I eat cookies, cakes and carbs, I feel lethargic. Knock back a kale shake and I feel energetic and focussed. But I missed the coffee. I drink almond milk as coffee, but was overloading on aspartame.

Next addition to the arsenal? Coffee, but not your dad’s coffee. Strong coffee filled with slimming MCT oil, coconut oil and unsalted creamy butter loaded with the kind of fats that are healthy for your brain and make you feel full.

I’m working on brain and body hacks using Bulletproof Exec. I can’t afford shipping in coffee, but I do have access to fire roasted coffee that seems fine. (It’s the mold and mycotoxins often found on coffee beans that make you feel like crap and when I drink the fire roasted stuff, I feel fine. I experimented with the butter (ghee) and MCT oil and coconut oil today. WIth a little bit of Xylitol (or stevia) it’s okay. It doesn’t taste as great as a latte loaded with sugar and cream, but the options I’m working with now might save my life, so there’s that.

Scoop.it

Space Vegans vs. Stephen Hawking

I make Chuck Norris cry with special guest, writer Mark Young. We talk books, vegans from space, politics and I crap on Papa Hemingway. We also question Stephen Hawking’s peculiar brand of robot genius.

In this, the 50th episode of the podcast, we’re doing something a little different. I finally stop monologuing and talk with an actual human being. I know! Weird!  The name of the podcast is now All That Chazz. Don’t worry, all will be explained in my longest podcast ever. This episode is totally uncircumcised. We just let the recording go and had a lot of fun. 

Click the book links at AllThatChazz.com to grab some fine suspenseful literature now in case the apocalypse comes early. More books are on the way soon. If you tuned in to find out what happens to my hit man, Jesus Diaz, we’re into the next chapter of Bigger Than Jesus in the next show.

This podcast is sponsored by KitFosterDesign.com. Mark Young’s blog is http://mondaysaremeatless.blogspot.ca.

Sit and DIE!

I just joined a Facebook group for writers encouraging each other to get daily exercise and be healthier. It’s been on my mind a lot, especially after all the studies about how people who sit for several hours a day are at greater risk of getting killed by ninjas. Okay, I didn’t read those studies too carefully, but the upshot was, sit and DIE!

We write from the heart for hours on end. It’s bad for our hearts. We have to eat healthier than the average bear (more blueberries and salmon, less garbage in our pic-a-nic baskets.) I have a treadmill desk and I try to alternate that with the chair, though there are a lot of things I do that make the treadmill desk less conducive to my best work. Walking while working is fine for surfing, not so good for composition.

Today I ate a kale shake (à la Joe Rogan’s recipe), ate egg whites and a few blueberries and opted for almond milk instead of coffee. Tonight, more exercise. It’s all part of the deal when you write for a living. You have to exercise more to live, and perhaps become immortal beyond the page.