1 cool video, 1 true story, 2 books of non-fiction & 5 books of fun lies

Video by Kit Foster of Kit Foster Design.com

Click to get Higher Than Jesus free from Nov. 19 to Nov. 23, 2012!

True Story: I ran into a guy in the grocery store today I used to serve in my old job, the one before I started whisking people away to strange worlds. The last time I saw him, as he walked out the door, he said, “By the way, I won’t be buying your books.”

THUD! WHAT?!

“But Self-help for Stoners is humor and suspense!” I protested. Now I’ve written a lot more books and they’re still not for the humor-impaired or the prissy!

(Sorry, E, but you hurt my feelings…well…you hurt my feeling.)

Please click here for all my books and enjoy!

Higher Than Jesus  ~ My clever hit man fails miserably at group therapy, gets laid and tries to escape his addictions with his soul intact.

Bigger Than Jesus ~ My funny, luckless hit man tries to escape the mob he betrayed with stolen mob money and the love of his life. 

Sex, Death & Mind Control ~ Powerfully persuasive people are out to get you. Read this one with the lights on.

The Dangerous Kind & Other Stories ~ Poeticule Bay, Maine: A town so small, it feels like you’re trapped in a coffin. 

Self-help for Stoners ~ Self-help made out of suspense to make you laugh out loud.

Crack the Indie Author Code ~ Get inspired and stay on track to write your book.

Write Your Book: Aspire to Inspire ~ More publishing strategies to write that book you’re dreaming about.

Freebies, Giveaways & Mission Possible

Shower yourself in free ebooks & hear two chapters of Bigger Than Jesus! My hardboiled crime novel of twisty suspense is free to you from Nov. 5 to Nov. 9. That’s Book One in The Hit Man Series, but wait, there’s more!  

Sign up for the newsletter at AllThatChazz.com and answer a question from Higher Than Jesus (Book 2 is only $3.99 as an ebook)  and you’ll get another free ebook.

There are similar offers in the back of my writing guides, too: Crack the Indie Author Code and Write Your Book: Aspire to Inspire. Sign up for the newsletter and answer a qualifying question correctly and you could get free coupons to read the ebook of Self-help for Stoners and/or Sex, Death & Mind Control.

Anyone who signs up for the newsletter gets a plug on the podcast. Jordanna East of Journey of Jordanna East and she got a plug this week. 

Podcast sponsor: Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com

Intro clips: Mitt Romney, Charlie Chaplain from The Great Dictator, Barack Obama

Author reading on this podcast: “Mission Possible” and “What Will Stop Him”

Links-a-plenty: Kale shakes & getting healthier

 

Author Denise DeSio asked about kale shakes. (My buddy and graphic artist, Kit Foster, thinks I’m insane for drinking them and sent me the above graphic for a laugh.) I started a reply to Denise on ChazzWrites, but then my short answer got away from me. Here’s how I make my kale shakes for weight loss, mental acuity, health and a general feeling of awesomeness. (I’m not a doctor. I just remember what smart people say.)

First, the kale shakes: There are a lot of recipes out there, but I add at least a fistful of kale to a blender with a cup of water; add a small pear or two and a little coconut oil to a food processor or blender and set the speed to “liquefy to death”. The coconut oil adds healthy fat, is filling and sweet and increases absorption of fat-soluble vitamins. Put the kale and water in first for easier blending. If your blender sucks, get straws with an extra-large circumference intended for thick milkshakes.

My drinks vary. I add protein powder and a carrot (for colour and beta carotene) or an avocado (for texture). Some people call it juice fasting. I call my shakes “liquified salads” that allow me to eat more vegetables than I otherwise would. It’s much more convenient, filling and pleasant than doing my rabbit impression.

Some kale shakes are more aggressive in their nutritional payload and punch, and include cayenne pepper, ginger or garlic. Experiment to find the right mix of fruits and vegetables. Strawberries are sweet but don’t have too many calories if you don’t go too crazy. Bananas are sweet, but they add too much sugar to be helpful (high glycemic index). The more cruciferous vegetables, the better.

Watch the fun and inspirational documentary Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. If that appeals to you, you can join the movement and get more details at www.JointheReboot.com.

For variety, I’ll have almond milk as a coffee with a bit of baking cocoa. I start each day with coffee with ghee (or grass-fed butter) so I feel full longer and eat much less than I used to. All those healthy fats increase satiety so the number of calories consumed goes way down and, contrary to the low-fat diet mantra that’s failed us miserably, the right kinds of fats actually combat cardiovascular disease. Fat and portion control is the answer to what cardiologists refer to as the French Paradox (i.e. The French are healthier than North Americans yet consume more fat.) We aren’t what we eat. We are the lies we swallow.

For more on the joys of almond milk, veganism and the struggle to eat better, listen to my podcast discussion with Mark Young, the smartest and tallest vegan I know.  Mark’s blog is MondaysAreMeatless

I still eat meat, but less so. I’m more Paleo diet than vegan, though I’m eating less of everything and vegetables are the main focus. For instance, I used to eat more luggage when forced to wait in airport lounges. Small children weren’t safe.

For years people have been running away from coconut oil and avocado, but they’re full of good fats (omega 3s and 6s.) If coconut isn’t for you, consider neutral-tasting MCT oil for the healthy, medium-chain fatty acids. I avoid sugar whenever possible. I’ve begun to get away from Aspartame because, now that I’m not anaesthetizing myself to my psychic pain with simple carbs, I feel more sensitive to my reactions to foods and chemicals. I opt more for xylitol or stevia as sweeteners. (Too much xylitol and you’re in the bathroom, jetting for lift-off.)

I also feel much sharper mentally now that I’m riding the green train. White bread, white rice, simple carbs and processed foods make me sleepy (when they don’t leave me hungrier.) You know you’re getting older when a couple of slices of Wonder Bread put you in a coma. I’ve eliminated pop. I exercise more and I’m sleeping better. Though I use a treadmill desk, writers are still so damn sedentary there’s really no choice but to move more if we hope to live long enough to see our books published. We have to take care of ourselves. I’m thinking of hiring a big guy to chase me.

The diet alterations are working for me. I started out with a kale shake a day and have graduated to two or even three instead of canned and processed crap. Grocery shopping is cheaper and takes much less time now because I buy leaves at farmers’ markets. (“Ooh, kale!” I say. “That would taste good chopped into a molecular paste with garlic and a half a cup of blueberries!”

For more on Upgraded Coffee and surprising brain and body hacks, check out BulletproofExec.com.

The Ultimate Liar

Creepy and dramatic events unfold! Some mysteries from Bigger Than Jesus are opened up. We finally discover Jesus’s full name, what childhood trauma he endured, how he escaped Miami for Havana on the Hudson and with whom. 

The All That Chazz podcast is sponsored by Kit Foster of Kit Foster Design.com. Want to spruce up your website or picture, get Quote Art, or get a book cover designed? Kit’s a great guy to work with and does a fantastic job at very reasonable rates.

For more about books of suspense by Robert Chazz Chute, click the “Where can I buy your books?” tab. Five more books from Ex Parte Press, both fiction and non-fiction, will be released very soon, including the sexy thriller Higher Than Jesus, the next book in The Hit Man Series.

Thanks for listening! New episode and lots of news next week!

The Skim

In this episode of the suspense novel, Bigger Than Jesus finds Jesus visiting the lovely Lily Vasquez’s apartment. They aren’t alone, and things are about to get bloody.

Robert Chazz Chute is the author of Bigger Than Jesus, Self-help for Stoners, The Dangerous Kind & Other Stories and Sex, Death & Mind Control.

See the links for all the books.

Writing a book? You need an excellent graphic designer at reasonable prices. Go to KitFosterDesign.com. Kit Foster is the person you need to make a cover that sells.

Elmore Leonard. You’ve inspired me.

Please click it to grab the gripping, funny crime thriller by Robert Chazz Chute.

I’ve read a lot of Elmore Leonard and I think that shows in Bigger Than Jesus. He just influenced me a bit more. You see, the thing about Netflix is that if you run across a TV show that appeals to you, whipping through a bunch of episodes at once is doable. Keep an eye on the clock because it sure can suck up a weekend. This weekend the kids were away so I watched Justified.

I don’t usually pay attention to who wrote this or that. As much as I love Kurt Vonnegut, one of his books I can’t seem to read. The same thing has happened with all the authors I love: Palahniuk and Goldman, too. There’s always at least one that isn’t for me (which is still an incredibly impressive batting average.) However, the fact that Elmore Leonard was listed as Executive Producer of Justified did get my attention so I sat down and stuck it in my head.

The EP title is sloshed around plenty in movies and TV. Often it means nothing beyond a credit and more (or less) money. However, I saw Leonard’s influence in some of the funny dialogue, at least. The winding story arc held me, as well. I like to goof around in alternate dimensions and figure out where the writers are going with the plot (and what I’d do differently.)

Justified isn’t perfect. No one in law enforcement loses his mind and turns his back on thugs as much as Timothy Olyphant does in this show. However, it’s the funny sensibility of criminals relating to other criminals (and to cops) that I groove on. It’s not laugh-a-minute, witty dialogue, but there’s certainly enough there to make it watchable, enjoyable and good for a bunch of chuckles. 

That inspires me. As I read the reviews and hear the happy feedback from readers of my books, I think there will be a few changes to the next book in The Hit Man Series. I predict a little less swearing, a little more sex, even more clever twists that will read like how-to for finding people who don’t want to be found. And more jokes. The people who love Bigger Than Jesus all mention the humour. Higher Than Jesus will raise that bar higher. Higher than Jesus.

The Punishment

In this episode, Jesus Diaz is still zip tied and at Pete’s mercy. He’s having a hard time talking his way out of taking all the blame for assassinating Panama Bob and bumping off Big Denny De Molina.

Next week: Chapter 9 is The Grift. If you can’t stand the suspense, Bigger Than Jesus is on Amazon as an ebook and in paperback. 

Please support the podcast by buying my books, leaving a nice review, and shopping on Amazon using the links at AllThatChazz.com. Check out the Lightning Deals and The Deal of the Day through my website, too! Every little bit helps. Cheers!