Jerks, Near-Death, Time Travel and Alternate Reality

This episode gets weird. From getting blessed by an angel to starting over, this is a monologue of strange experiences. I’m defeated by sunflower seeds, but I think I can figure out something about the universe in this journey from kissing a character from one of my books to finding peace for somebody who doesn’t deserve forgiveness. (I let him live! Isn’t that enough?)

There’s also The Big Decision: Get thin and healthy.
Formula: (Fat + protein) – (processed food, white food, non-food, bad carbs or sugar) + exercise.
How did I arrive at that decision? Sunlight and deciding I’m a thin person (all evidence to the contrary) and acting that way.

I’m continuing with the first author reading on Vine this week. It’s a funny short story from my book Self-help for Stoners. It’s about how to get away with murder and massive marijuana possession in Texas with a skunk and a smile.

Apologies: I won’t be reading the next instalment of Higher Than Jesus until the next episode of All That Chazz. (I’m not holding the book  hostage, but this episode went long and bandwidth fees are an issue. Um…I insist I’m not holding the crime novel hostage but if you want to help out with bandwidth fees, that would be great. Please click on the safe and secure yellow donate button at AllThatChazz.com or CoolPeoplePodcast.com.

To enter to win this crime novel in paperback, put your guess in the comments of this post. Closest wins.
Want to get in on the Vine contest and enter to win an autographed copy of Bigger Than Jesus? Check out the post directly below this one. 

Speaking of which, have you listened to the Cool People Podcast yet? Have a listen and if you like it, please leave a review on iTunes so more people can find us. (Same for the All That Chazz podcast, come to think of it + dang it!)

New websites: ThisPlagueofDays.com and onlysixseconds.wordpress.com. Check those out, too.

You guys can get me at expartepress AT gmail DOT com or @rchazzchute on Twitter. Say hello and share what you think of the podcast.

Podcast art: Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com.

Music for today’s podcast was Pop Goes the Weasel by Kevin MacLeod of Incompetech.com.

Thanks for listening! 

~Chazz

The Ticking Clock Edition

Love for Michelle’s bangs, a review that’s the good kind of bad, an invitation to you to join the podcast and a reading of the second chapter of Higher Than Jesus, “The Ticking Clock”. The title makes sense now, doesn’t it?

Thanks to our sponsor, Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com, and to Kevin MacLeod of Incompetech.com for the music “Pop Goes the Weasel”. 

If you’re interested in being interviewed on the podcast, use Speakpipe (on the sidebar to the right) to leave a message with your contact information. You’ll need a USB microphone (not a built-in mic) on your end and for the show you have to be on Skype. Or email me at expartepress@gmail.com.

Thanks for listening!

PS Blooper at the end. It’s sad.

 

Take it!

For more writing & publishing advice, buying Write your Book, Aspire to Inspire would also make your day and mine.

Yet another free ebook is given and the Romanian mob is at the gates. Find out what happens next as we come close to the end of the reading of the crime novel, Bigger Than Jesus by Robert Chazz Chute.

The next instalment in the hardboiled Hit Man Series is Higher Than Jesus. Read all the sex and violence by clicking on the book’s cover to the right.

About the free ebook: You can get Crack the Indie Author Code for free from Nov. 26 to Nov. 30, 2012. If you dream of writing and publishing, this is the book to get you started. Pick up the follow-up, Write Your Book: Aspire to Inspire (by clicking the cover as it appears to the right again! Oh, my Thor! Is there no end to this madness?!) 

This podcast is sponsored by Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com. For a new web banner, excellent Quote Art or book covers for traditional as well as indie authors, check out his portfolio at KitFosterDesign.com. You won’t regret it.

Just like the books, if you like the podcast, please review it on iTunes so more people can find me. You can find me @rchazzchute on Twitter. Thanks for listening to the show. Subscribe to the All That Chazz newsletter (also to the right! My stars and garters! Is there no end to his requests?!

 

1 cool video, 1 true story, 2 books of non-fiction & 5 books of fun lies

Video by Kit Foster of Kit Foster Design.com

Click to get Higher Than Jesus free from Nov. 19 to Nov. 23, 2012!

True Story: I ran into a guy in the grocery store today I used to serve in my old job, the one before I started whisking people away to strange worlds. The last time I saw him, as he walked out the door, he said, “By the way, I won’t be buying your books.”

THUD! WHAT?!

“But Self-help for Stoners is humor and suspense!” I protested. Now I’ve written a lot more books and they’re still not for the humor-impaired or the prissy!

(Sorry, E, but you hurt my feelings…well…you hurt my feeling.)

Please click here for all my books and enjoy!

Higher Than Jesus  ~ My clever hit man fails miserably at group therapy, gets laid and tries to escape his addictions with his soul intact.

Bigger Than Jesus ~ My funny, luckless hit man tries to escape the mob he betrayed with stolen mob money and the love of his life. 

Sex, Death & Mind Control ~ Powerfully persuasive people are out to get you. Read this one with the lights on.

The Dangerous Kind & Other Stories ~ Poeticule Bay, Maine: A town so small, it feels like you’re trapped in a coffin. 

Self-help for Stoners ~ Self-help made out of suspense to make you laugh out loud.

Crack the Indie Author Code ~ Get inspired and stay on track to write your book.

Write Your Book: Aspire to Inspire ~ More publishing strategies to write that book you’re dreaming about.

The Ultimate Liar

Creepy and dramatic events unfold! Some mysteries from Bigger Than Jesus are opened up. We finally discover Jesus’s full name, what childhood trauma he endured, how he escaped Miami for Havana on the Hudson and with whom. 

The All That Chazz podcast is sponsored by Kit Foster of Kit Foster Design.com. Want to spruce up your website or picture, get Quote Art, or get a book cover designed? Kit’s a great guy to work with and does a fantastic job at very reasonable rates.

For more about books of suspense by Robert Chazz Chute, click the “Where can I buy your books?” tab. Five more books from Ex Parte Press, both fiction and non-fiction, will be released very soon, including the sexy thriller Higher Than Jesus, the next book in The Hit Man Series.

Thanks for listening! New episode and lots of news next week!

Podcast: Bigger Than Jesus, Chapter 2

Enjoy some crime fiction. Chapter 2 of Bigger Than Jesus: The Key by Robert Chazz Chute. 

Last week, we heard Come to Jesus, Chapter 1 of Bigger Than Jesus. Hit man Jesus Diaz found himself on a high ledge trying to kill Panama Bob on Jimmy Lima’s orders. Then Bob offered a key to a storage locker that holds a fortune. Then things get complicated.

Grab the whole story as an ebook here.

The print version of Bigger Than Jesus will be available soon. 

The next instalment in The Hit Man Series, Higher Than Jesus, will be available this fall. 

PODCAST: Storm Trooper on a Unicycle Edition

Harassing old ladies, seeing things and disputing false copyright infringement claims.

Get your book, business or podcast mentioned for a donation. Or better yet, buy my books! Email me at expartepress@gmail.com or leave a comment below if you’d like to say hello. Okay, commercial’s over.

This podcast punches reality in the pills with the heavy boot of nonsense and conscience Tuesdays and Fridays. If you like it, please give a happy review on iTunes so I don’t stay a secret. Your review will break that old witch’s curse and I can be a man instead of this wretch you see before you!

Thanks for listening.

UPDATE: I talk about getting a nasty notice from YouTube for my video AllThatChazz.com. A couple of hours after releasing the latest podcast, I received an email from YouTube alerting me that the company erroneously claiming I infringed on their copyrighted material has released that claim. You’re damn skippy, they did! Justice prevails.